


Shadows Taller Than Our Souls

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger Management, Angst, Angst and Humor, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Broken Families, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Enemies to Friends, Epic Friendship, Everybody needs therapy, F/M, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity Gems, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Jane Foster/Thor, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Vision, Reconciliation, References to Depression, Rhodey Feels, Skrull(s), Steve Rogers & Thor Friendship, Steve Rogers Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Tony Has Trust Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, repairing friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:38:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 75,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony had lost the war and had decided to forego any contact with the Avengers. He didn't need people he couldn't trust. Which is why he stuck to only Rhodey and by extension, Vision, the three loners living in solidarity. Natasha never really got over the war and opted to go back into hiding, hoping that she could reclaim some modicum of peace. Until the day a mail dropped in from someone Tony never wanted to see again. It didn't matter though, because what Tony wanted he never seemed to get. And Natasha didn't know what she wanted anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, some of my friends here who have watched the movie told me to put up a spoiler alert and I'm terribly sorry for not doing it earlier. That was an honest overlook.   
> So, here it is  
> SPOILER ALERT. SPOILER ALERT FOR CACW.

Tony never thought that a day would come when he would do laundry.

He stared at the appliance in front of him and looked at all the buttons on it. He remembered seeing knobs on the last machine he saw, sometime back in college. Rhodey had explained its functioning back then but Tony remembers it through a haze of alcohol, half-naked girls, Dummy's whirring and a hacking challenge. He didn't think it useful to listen then, wondering when and why he would ever find use of a washing machine that ran without an AI or bot-help. 

"Reminiscing sucks, huh?" Rhodey asked as he wheeled over from behind and Tony turned slightly to shoot him a half-hearted glare that did nothing on his best friend of two decades, "Yeah, you keep glaring like that and the machine will combust from the power of your lasers, Superman."

"I can see that you're trying to be funny, but your end result is in dropping into the negative," Tony scoffed before grudgingly picking up clothes from one basket among the four on the floor and dropping it into one machine, "I don't get why we're transitioning into heathens. What exactly is wrong with the pretty little helpful laundry service I have?"

Rhodey wheeled around Tony's torso and observed him dumping the whites into the machine. "Nothing," he quipped casually, snatching a green sock stuck in the whites Tony was going to dump, "It just gives you something to do that isn't filled with grease, sharp pliers or shiny suits."

Tony paused between one t-shirt and another shorts before Rhodey continued.

"Besides, it makes him feel good about doing something. Something that doesn't need...his powers."

The 'him' in question was currently down in the training area, putting himself through another viciously rigorous regime that would do nothing to make him fitter but would give him an illusion of control over his body. Tony knew whey Vision did that regularly, without missing a slot. He knew why the android disappeared in the middle of the night from his floor. He didn't like it, probably didn't like Vision much as well, but he knew why he did it.

After all that had happened and all that they had gone through, using a washing machine to help someone recuperate wasn't a major task for Tony.

He nodded shortly before staring at the detergent bottles next to him and opening his mouth before shutting it with a sigh. 

"You know, paying a therapist is better than this torture," he commented to Rhodey who simply grabbed Tony's wrist when he decided to dump the entire bottle into the machine, "Speaking of therapy, when's your Chewbacca coming in?" 

Rhodey sighed and pushed his wheels to the side in an attempt to watch as the machine began to tumble. Tony had moved onto the colors now.

"I really don't know if you're insulting Chewie or Dr. Forester," he observed and ignored the shrug from Tony, "He's coming in an hour. Andrew will be coming in for physio in the evening. What about you?"

"I'm not insulting either, it's just the hair. What about me?"

Rhodey narrowed his eyes slightly but didn't move a hint. "Today's not April 1st so I know you're not fooling around. Your therapy, we talked about it last week, remember? Dr. Ghosh was supposed to be coming today for your first session."

Tony didn't answer and let his hands take their time in checking his pajamas pockets for hidden objects. He might not know a lot about laundry but he knew much about things getting stuck in smooth running machines. He knew a lot about chokers.

Finally, when he closed the second machine and saw it begin its cycle, he rested his hands on its top and breather out.

"It's not necessary," he said in a quiet voice and knew that Rhodey was frowning harder, even without looking at him.

"That's not your decision"

"It's not going to help" Tony answered patiently, watching his hands press against the machine, "It's fine, I'm fine."

"Fine isn't working anymore," Rhodey replied through clenched teeth, because this was the third time Tony was springing this denial on him, "Fine isn't your auto-pilot here. You know you need it just as much as I do."

"Not really," Tony shot back, turning around and shrugging down at Rhodey, who's glare turned fiercer at the fast-forming facade on Tony's demeanor, "I tried therapy once, remember? Bruce recommended I don't do it again."

"He recommended you don't do it again with  _him_ ," Rhodey raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Look, we can keep running around in circles here but the point is that it's okay to get help."

Tony dug his hands into his sweat-pant pockets and tilted his head at Rhodey.

"I'm not saying it's not okay, I'm just saying that  _I_ don't need help," he replied calmly, the way he always walked the line between caution and comfort with Rhodey nowadays, "Rhodes, you know what'll happen after one session. Why do you want me to traumatize another poor lady?"

Rhodey knew all about pushing Tony, he had learnt it long before he had joined the Air Force. There was always a time and place for things with the man, a rule that usually never applied with regards to Rhodey or Pepper a few years back. After Ultron, that rule had come into effect for Pepper. After the Civil War, it was creeping in onto Rhodey too.

He rubbed one hand over his left knee, trying to chase the phantom pain he felt whenever he thought about the war or that specific day of the war. Nothing made sense about that day to Rhodey. He remembers slipping into his suit, feeling his feet planting solidly against the metal sole of the armor. He remembers the trash talk that Tony made as usual, to mask his nervousness. He remembers standing beside Tony, ready to fly at command, eyeing Sam, no scratch that, eyeing  _Falcon_. He remembers powering up and chasing the guy, close on Tony's heels, as they cut through the skies. He remembers seeing the red alert flashing on his HUD seconds before Tony screamed from the front.

He remembers catching a flash of golden beam before it cut his armor and blacked him out.

The next thing he remembers is waking up in a hospital, Tony sitting beside him looking worse than death, and blinking up at a mid-50's tall doctor giving him the patented fake-brave smile. He remembers the minute he realized Tony wasn't rambling and wasn't touching him, even though his hands hovered near Rhodey's arm.

He remembers the second he hears the word  _paralyzed._ After that, he simply remembers emptiness and anger smothered by broken concern for himself and the only 'man' still beside him. He remembers the ghost of a past Rhodey still walking beside his wheelchair everyday. 

"You need help, Tony," he said quietly, holding Tony's gaze but refraining from touching him, "but maybe not today. Just...don't wait too long, okay?"

Tony didn't nod or reply but relaxed his shoulders a bit and offered Rhodey a miniscule shrug.

"Whatever you say, buddy" he commented before pointedly turning and snorting at the machines whirring under him, "You think they'll burst if I leave to pee?"

Rhodey rolled his eyes but answered nonetheless.

"Nah, go on, I've got your back," he replied and caught the slight freeze in Tony's eyes before the man smirked softly and walked away. 

Even though Tony was muttering under his breath, Rhodey still caught the sentence as he left.

"I wish I had yours"

Rhodey didn't follow Tony as the guy walked away, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would be both honest and comforting. He was still Tony's best friend but that was only because Tony's circle of friends had dropped to seriously low numbers. He had harbored trust issues for a longer time, probably since Obie, but Tony had still held a modicum of belief that not everybody he trusted was out to destroy him. It was that thickly veiled hope that had helped him become a part of the Avengers, despite their forced beginnings. Rhodey had seen Tony gel into the team over time, gradually, sarcastically, strangely and unwittingly. 

He had also been there for the gradual unraveling of that team. He had been there through the Ultron fiasco, had heard about the unmistakable guilt syndrome Tony adopted whenever he failed. He had been there when Tony had let slip about Pepper leaving and had casually asked Rhodey to not tell any of his teammates. He had seen Tony become insecure again. 

And then he had seen it all fall apart in the final war.

Rhodey had himself been a part of many wars and missions, had seen destruction and death at close quarters, watching the moment life got replaced by emptiness. Nothing in his experience had prepared him for a war against superheroes. Rhodey had expected things to settle down at some point, to get people to understand what the Accords meant. 

He had expected too much.

The day he had woken up at the hospital, Rhodey had known that they had lost completely. He had lost completely. Not just the function of his legs. Not just the confidence of his employers. Not just the dreams he had built. 

Rhodey hadn't lost just tangible things. He had also lost Tony. Somewhere in the middle of all the guns blazing and revelations swimming, he had lost his best friend too. 

The saddest part of it for him, the most irritating aspect, was that it wasn't either his or Tony's fault. It wasn't  _anybody's_ fault. They were still Tony and Rhodey, still the same people. But they were also not the same people of the past. It was a contradiction of losses that nobody anticipated. 

They should have anticipated it. They should have known that something as huge as what had happened to both of them would drive an invisible wedge, that would remain despite their closeness. He still cared for the guy like his brother and knew that Tony would throw himself in front of Rhodey when danger came, but they were just not the same. They couldn't joke without worrying about hitting a sore spot. They couldn't casually touch each other, hug, slap each other's back, without hesitating. They couldn't get over their new found height difference, even if they both pretended it didn't exist. 

They were the same people but their souls had changed. For Rhodey, that somehow felt like a far more hurtful loss than his damned legs. 

He knew that for Tony it was just another bullet in his torn out heart.

***********************************************

Vision heard the footsteps even before the man crossed the first curve of stairs. He knew that Tony didn't take the elevator often now, not unless it was absolutely necessary. The engineer didn't justify it or even acknowledge it, but the other two men living in the desolate Facility knew the reason, just as they knew that nobody ate Sokovian recipes anymore and spider webs creeped out Tony involuntarily. Vision knew that Rhodes couldn't see any shows related to the Air Force without hurting his cheek by biting. He knew that nobody looked at mirrors regularly anymore. He knew that Tony always avoided looking at the gem embedded in Vision's forehead.

He had learnt at his inception that he wasn't best suited for human emotions. They baffled him and made his unflappable intellect doubt self. Empathy, compassion, love, kindness and loyalty were beautiful aspects of this curse, but no boon came without a bane. Anger, sadness, anxiety, hurt, loneliness and plethora of gut-wrenching feelings came as part of the human package. Maybe he should never have attempted to try. Maybe he would have been better off as the droid people saw him as, instead of the clothing clad person he had come to recognize in reflections. 

He quickly brushed away those thoughts, knowing that they would invariably lead to  **her**. He had been working hard to avoid her thoughts after the war. It would be unwise to let go now.

"Hey there," Tony called out as he came through the door, clad in his staple black workout attire, "wrong time to catch you?"

Vision had seen Tony at his worst and even that hadn't compared to what he was now. The sarcasm, the sass and air of confidence that he wore on his sleeve seemed to have vanished somewhere in damp dungeons and floating prison cells. He could still remember that, the horrendous prison, could remember the way  **her** powers had been shut down before she could struggle her way out. 

He forced down that memory and turned his attention back to Tony, who was now stretching as warm-up.

"Is there a right time to catch people unguarded?" he quipped in reply, getting back to his meditation, attempting to reach that control point he aimed at.

"Ah, maybe not" Tony conceded and Vision heard nothing else for a whole five minutes before the silence bother him and he opened his eyes to see Tony quietly go about his workout routine.

In a month before this, probably even weeks before, Vision wouldn't have started a conversation voluntarily with Tony Stark, just because he knew that the man didn't need anybody to start conversations for him. He was a proud rambler and could talk anybody's head off without excuse. 

Today, Tony Stark is silence. Not the kind that soothes, but the kind that reminds you of stony graves and still ruins. Vision envisioned Tony absent from the scene and realized that his presence made no difference, not any more than his absence would. Tony Stark had turned insignificant in his silence, and that was the sharpest jab at the android's mind.

"What would you like to have for lunch today?" he asked in the calm tone he was used to and saw Tony pause in his regime before continuing fluidly.

"That sounds a bit like a homemaker for you doesn't it?" Tony asked and Vision felt a flicker of hope at the feeble sass attempt before Tony seemed to realize what he had said and backtracked casually, "We'll order in. Pizza sounds good."

"Yes, it does," Vision pushed a bit more, trying to continue the conversation as he left his meditation mid-way, "But I was hoping we could have something healthier? How about I make some pizza here? With less cheese, just the way you prefer?"

"Whatever you two decide," Tony replied over his shoulder and Vision held back a retort at the lack of input. He knew that Tony couldn't trust him completely yet and the only reason he was still here in the Facility was because of James Rhodes. If Vision had been given a heart, it would have shriveled in guilt at what he had done to that man. The Mind Gem had been a privilege, a terrible privilege at that, and Vision had been trusted by his teammates to have discretion of its usage. 

The laser beam that had shot War Machine out of the sky was not the usage anybody had predicted. The android knew that the alternative, of hitting either Tony or Sam, would not have been any better or less guilt-inducing.

Still, living with the man he had crippled for life and the man whose trust he had lost despite being his creation was a learning experience for Vision. He watched as Tony pushed himself into exertion, trying to fight an invisible foe under the weights. Vision knows that feeling, despite not having the same trauma as Stark.

He wondered if anybody had the same trauma as Tony did. If anybody could imagine what he was living through currently.

Unbidden to imagination, a name did pop up in his mind. The name of a leader they had trusted. The name of a man who had fallen. The name of a friend who had probably hurt Stark worse than any foe. 

Vision wondered if Steve Rogers felt the same way as Tony Stark did. He also wondered if the war had really proven its worth to him, had given him the freedom he claimed to be threatened.

Here, in the abandoned Avengers Facility that lay as a house and no longer a home, Vision could see that the war hadn't been worth anything for them. Two lonely men and one confused synthetic being, caught up in their guilts, grief and ghosts.

As he watched Tony fluidly press up against the pressure of the weights, he knew that no matter how many times Tony pushed back, he would always be bogged down by the nightmare they had gone through.

In the end, Vision looked down at his crossed legs and understood why Natasha had left. It was not because they had lost.

It was because they had nothing else left to fight for.

He closed his eyes and went back to his meditation, thought a golden beam of laser seemed to dominate his vision. He continued nonetheless, in the silence of his companion.

**************************

Tony took another bite of the pizza and put the slice back onto his plate. The voice of the actor on screen rose a few octaves but he couldn't catch the meaning of anything she said. It was some trashy show Rhodey had chosen for the night and Tony hadn't objected. 

It wasn't like it mattered anyway. It was all mindless drag, anything they chose. He picked up the slice of pizza and took another bite, wiping the cheese off his lips with the back of his hand.

He saw Vision sit quietly on the ottoman, politely watching a show Tony  _knew_ he didn't understand or appreciate. Vision was no fan of drama series, no matter how many Emmys they had won or how striking the lead looked.

It wasn't as though Vision looked at physical attributes or beauty, he thought lightly before Wanda's grinning face flashed in his mind and he looked at Vision again. He knew about them, of course he did. He knew about the strange bond the droid and the Witch had formed, silently comforting each other over warm homecooked meals, rich philosophical debates and opera. Tony knew he was being cynical in his analysis, knew that they were deeper than he described, but he wasn't as forgiving as he pretended to be or as people considered him to be. He could hold a grudge, no matter how many times Rhodey asserted that he proved himself otherwise. Tony wasn't a fool to his best friend's meaningless platitudes of pity. He knew that Rhodey had changed, that he wouldn't be as sharp and demanding as he had been before...

 _Before_.

That was what his life,  **their lives** , had become divided into : Before and After. It was like they had come through a plague, an epidemic leeching their souls. Tony was not even considering his losses at this point, having long forgotten the count of it. 

The losses of those who trusted him though, those were the ones he kept a diligent account of. Like Rhodey. And his legs.

Tony kept his eyes trained on the TV, forcing himself to not look down again, to not remind himself of what he had become a cause for. It wasn't something he had forgotten, hardly likely that he would ever forget it. Not when a damned wheelchair rolled around him, carrying his best friend in it.

Rhodey had once asked, in the beginning, if Tony was ashamed or uncomfortable with it. Of course, Rhodey's eyes had flashed with defiance and a challenge to dare say yes.

Tony had said no, because he really wasn't ashamed, God never that, not of Rhodey. He couldn't say that about himself though, of his choices, of his decisions and emotions.

On the screen, the lead doctor skidded to the floor as her traumatized patient rained blows on her. It was supposed to be a stirring episode and the shots were taken just right, to emphasize the pain and powerlessness of the woman as she fell and tried to fight back against the patient who wasn't in his senses.

Tony knew the reality of the situation. Knew what it felt like to be her. Knew what it felt like to be powerless against somebody you thought was harmless, somebody that you were convinced by others to be in control.

He could still feel the phantom blows against his head, alternating between two pairs of fists and a vibranium shield, all of them holding equal rage and power. He could still feel his hands tremble as he imagined the repulsor against his palm, ready to strike back, to punch a cowl-hidden face back. He could still see the vacant eyes behind a curtain of black hair, cold rage swirling under mind-control.

He knew what it felt like to be overpowered by somebody people called a victim. He also knew the dilemma that came after.

Whom do you blame for the pain? Where do you shift the blame? Is anybody guilty? Do your hurts have any worth or are they collateral in a larger picture?

He knew what it meant to be a victim of a victim. It wasn't a situation anybody should be in.

"You okay?" Rhodey asked from beside and Tony breathed in deep, adopting a small smile as he shrugged.

"Yeah," he replied, "Twenty bucks says the new girl, the hated intern, saves her."

Rhodey knew that Tony was diverting attention, that his trembling hands were trying to hide under the bait of a bet. If he was stable himself, he would have called out Tony on his bullshit. If he was strong himself, he would have stopped the trembling.

"You're on" he said, taking the bait and turning back to the screen, letting Tony handle his stress in the darkness.

In the corner, from the ottoman, Vision watched the two men relive their problems on a fictional show. 

He turned his attention back to the screen and predicted that Tony would win. 

Maybe in these small bets, they would try and win small things to cover up their losses.

Maybe these minor clean ups would help them hide their personal dirty linen.

Their lives had turned into a big basket of laundry, Vision observed, as he watched Tony's prediction come right.

****************************

Steve stared at T'Challa wordlessly, processing the information for the tenth time. It sounded impossible, not in action but in thought, and Steve had the sudden urge to pull at his hair.

"Is that our only option?"

T'Challa nodded once curtly, keeping his face impassive as he watched the ex-Captain flounder at the implications of the news. He knew what it would lead to, something as dangerous as this. He knew what it would cost Steve and how slim the chances were of him succeeding. 

"Isn't there any way  _you_ could do this, instead?" Steve asked desperately, grasping at final straws. T'Challa's jaw ticked like he was physically finding it difficult to admit it but he shook his head in the negative.

"He is the only one who knows the details," the king told calmly, hand flexing against his knee, "The only way to get in is to get his help."

"And you are certain of the tip?" Steve confirmed once more, "We really have an... _alienc_ attack happening?"

"The Skrulls are masterful shapeshifters, Steve," T'Challa repeated himself, glancing at Sam behind Steve, "We have confirmed information about them taking the place and identity of five superheroes currently. The number of unconfirmed will be higher."

"Steve, we can't risk not doing anything," Sam said quietly from behind Steve, "It's too big to ignore."

"I know," Steve replied, wishing that he didn't understand it, "I know, Sam, but this is..."

"Tony, I know," Sam commented, not elaborating further.

It was the worst situation to be in for them. The information of a Skrull attack was hanging over their heads and they had to get data on all those in the government's list of superheroes, track them down and find out about any Skrull available. The catch came in when they realized that nobody but Tony Stark knew the details of the government and the masked superheroes. 

Steve could feel doom knocking at his door. There was no way in hell Tony would ever agree to help them. Not after what had happened.

"Will this be a problem, Steve?" T'Challa asked with a raised eyebrow, "Perhaps I should contact Stark instead?"

Steve considered that for a minute before realizing that Tony would rather eat his own heart than help T'Challa after the king had betrayed him blatantly.

"No, it won't work," Steve shook his head on a sigh, "It'll have to be me. I'm the only one he'll give the time of his day."

"Even after..." Sam trailed before he spoke anything further.

Steve shot him a knowing look and nodded sadly.

"Especially because of what happened," he commented and stood up, "I'm the only one Tony has a beef against right now. I am the only one who can play bait. We can't get through with this without a compromise, a deal. Tony won't have anything to gain from anyone else."

"What will he possibly gain from you?" Sam asked with a frown.

Steve steeled his eyes and took a breath before answering.

"The one thing that would probably rectify things a bit," Steve declared quietly as he met T'Challa's eyes, "Revenge."

"And Bucky?" T'Challa asked calmly.

Steve shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair.

"Tony won't go after him. Not when he will have me to go after," he sighed before squaring his shoulders, "I'll leave tonight for DC. We have to get this done as quick as possible."

T'Challa nodded and stood up, shooting a glance at Sam before leaving the room to arrange for Steve's transportation. Sam watched him leave before turning to stare at Steve.

"He'll kill you," he said bluntly, "He'll kill you before you get a word out."

Steve averted his eyes from Sam and gazed outside the corridor, over at Wakanda's skyline.

"He could have killed me at any time before," he replied softly, "He's Tony. He won't."

Sam wondered if Steve knew how foolish he sounded. He wondered if his friend knew what bet he was placing on his own life. He knew about Tony's rage, had seen it manifest into the prison, the Raft as it was called.

He wondered what gave Steve this ridiculous confidence about a man he had left broken back home.

Steve could feel Sam's stare on his back and resolutely avoided his gaze. He knew that Sam was considering him foolish. He also knew that the possibilities of that being true were high.

Maybe he was being foolish. Maybe Sam was right and Tony would kill him.

But then he remembered that letter he had written in a moment of sheer guilt when they first came to Wakanda. The night Bucky had decided to get back into a cryo.

He remembered sending in that letter, wishing he could possibly smooth things over.

He knew that the thought was childish and that things would never be the same. He knew that Tony hated him.

Somewhere though, somewhere in his good memories, he also knew that Tony Stark had once trusted him enough to follow. He remembered when Tony had once agreed with Steve, to face foes together.

He hoped that he could try that again. No matter what Tony would ask in return. 

He just hoped that he could find it in himself to face the man again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am doing this. I have too many WIPs, yes, but CACW is playing with my heart. Feedback please? <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all the wonderful people who commented and made my day! It means a LOT to me when I read a comment that tells me where I got things right and where I missed something. Thank you so much for being kind and sweet.  
> I just needed to put it out there that this is a story about all the characters involved in CACW, so you'll see bits and pieces of all POVs. If you think that only one side will need to seek redemption, you're mistaken. Both sides, all parties involved, have hurt someone or the other, knowingly or unwittingly. I hope I can make that clear as the story progresses :D

The problem usually came when people were not perceptive. For Sam, right now, the problem was that he was perceptive. He was extremely aware of what was happening, how they had come to this point, what things were on a delicate balance and when matters had changed from right and wrong to life and death. What was worse though, was that he knew exactly _why_ it had come to this. Sam knew why the war had happened and honestly, didn't know if the others had pondered about it as well instead of just what it had dealt them.

Because nobody was a saint here. On both sides of the war.

When Steve turned one more time to check on him, Sam had to quell the urge to either hit him or groan and massage his growing migraine away. Honestly, what did Steve think he was going to do? Run away at the first sight of the Facility? Wring his hands at the sight he knew awaited them? Or did Steve imagine that Sam was in danger here? Which, on fourth thoughts, could be true, but Sam hadn't survived wars and their aftermaths to not know that consequences didn't escape you. They may be avoided temporarily but anybody who thought that they could go without facing the consequences of their actions was a fool.

Sam Wilson was no fool. That was one of the few facts he was extremely sure of in life.

"Are we going in or do we wait for Vision to come laser blasting us first?" he asked coolly, hitching his small duffel bag up higher on his shoulder and pointedly staring at the entrance code pad by the door.

"This is not right," Steve repeated for the fiftieth time since they had gotten on the damned jet from Wakanda, "You shouldn't be here. If Rhodes or Vision see you and -"

"I'll stop you right there before you make it any worse for yourself," Sam cut in gently but firmly, noting the tight jaw and steeled eyes, "What we're doing is not for ourselves. This isn't a home-coming or a reunion. This is our job, our responsibility. Look, maybe you can do this alone. Maybe you're enough to convince them. But on the off chance that you're not, I don't want to risk an entire planet because of it. I'm here, we're doing this together and we should just open the damn door. Come on, Steve, punch in the codes."

Steve looked at Sam for a second and nodded. He didn't know if Sam was right but he was certainly more objective than himself, Steve realized with a calming sensation.So it was safe to presume that Sam was right. As he most often was.

When the code worked, Steve felt more annoyed than happy. It was the kind of carelessness that would get people killed. Plus, it wasn't the kind of carelessness that people who were supposed to be geniuses with technology usually lived with. Steve was calculating the number of villains with superhuman abilities against the number of people inside the Facility with the amount of reflex they would get in event of an attack, when the door hissed open and he heard JARVIS.

And then reprogrammed his brain to remember that it was Vision.

"I'd not recommend that," Vision came down the stairs, still unsure about using his feet to climb down while he could simply fly. The android looked at Steve, standing at the entrance of a place he had once commanded and run. The Facility had been Steve's house, his boot camp when they were still Avengers. Vision knew that there was another man standing beside Steve, that Sam was right there, he had even called out his name just now. But he didn't want to acknowledge him, didn't want to look at him and see what he could have done if he had not done what he  **had** done to Rhodey.

Yet, he knew that this unprecedented arrival could spell only doom for the other two people he lived with. Especially with Tony out and Rhodey set to come out of his room after physio anytime now.

"Hey there, V," Sam commented with a strained smirk and saw the sentient being's eyes twitch but stay on Steve. Well, that wouldn't do very well, Sam decided with a sigh and continued with fake cheer, "Looking good there, man. You're not gonna invite us in? It  _was_ a long flight, you know."

"And I'm sure you'll find a nice hotel to house you elsewhere," Vision replied calmly, hoping against hope that neither Tony nor Rhodey walked into this bewildering scene, "For now, I request that you please leave the premises."

"Oh hell, none of that please shit," a voice came from behind and Vision almost sighed in defeat when he heard the voice come closer, "You're not a butler, kid. When you want someone to fuck off, you don't say 'please'."

Rhodey rolled up front, coming to a stop beside Vision and looked at Steve and Sam.

"You say fuck off," he said with a pleasant smirk that held more threat a glare, "Which is what you two need to do."

"Good to see you too, Jim," Sam nodded amicably and could feel Steve freeze up at the sight of Rhodey in a wheelchair.

"Don't feel the same sentiment, Wilson," Rhodey replied with a small shrug before lazily dragging his eyes to Steve and considering him like a lion would its prey, "Lost your way, Rogers?"

"Depends," Steve found his voice and commented, "Is Tony here?"

"Do you see repulsors blasting your asses yet?" Rhodey asked as an answer and Sam remembered why they got along before.  _Before_. Sam was getting tired of that word.

"We need to see Tony," Steve said, the familiar determined air of leadership setting in on his body language, his eyes growing calm and shoulders straightening. 

Rhodey wanted to hurl something at his righteous face.

"You should have tried calling him instead," Vision replies reasonably, inching closer to Rhodey unconsciously, in a gesture meant to protect him. From whom even Vision didn't know.

"The matter requires more than just a phone-call," Steve answered, noting the way Rhodey's hands were clenching and unclenching the sides of his wheelchair but not letting himself react.

It hurt, it hurt like hell, seeing one of his team hurt. The war's reasons might have been necessary but the war in itself was not. Steve, who had lived through wars before, who had seen men, good men with brave hearts and vulnerable lives, lie cold on the warm earth. Steve, who had watched as men of politics and power played games that men of camouflage and metal helmets lost. Steve, who had not jumped out of a train out of guilt for letting his best friend fall. Steve, who had driven a plane into an ocean to save his land. Steve, who thought he lost it all before he got something new and then lost it all again. Steve Rogers, the man whom a sentient robot had accused of needing war to survive, knew that wars were always unnecessary when they ended. When the adrenaline died down, when your cause is saved, when you feel like you've won, you realize that you ended up losing so much more.

He would never regret saving Bucky. It wasn't possible for him to regret saving the only family who had known him and been with him when he was too weak and yet proud to ask for help. He could never regret choosing Bucky over anyone, no matter how pathetic it sounded to the world. Because the world hadn't let Bucky slip from a Hydra train. The world hadn't been glorified when Bucky underwent torture at the hands of the very organization he had almost died stopping. The world hadn't seen the broken shell of a man who had once the kindest heart and now had only the blood from hearts he had murdered. 

The world didn't know the Bucky Barnes who could be saved. Steve did and he would never regret saving a man who was fighting to live. 

Yet, it did nothing to assuage the pain and despair of seeing Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, War Machine, a man who had more than once been the voice of reason in his team. It did nothing to lessen the pain of seeing that man made vulnerable and  _hurt_ because of a war Steve had been a catalyst for.

"I need to see him, Rhodes," he tried again, meeting the seated guy's eyes squarely and keeping his voice low, "I wouldn't be here if it weren't important."

"That does nothing to strengthen your case," Rhodey pointed out coldly before his eyes flicked up to meet Sam, "Define 'important'."

"Global destruction, population wipe out, coming of the Doomsday," Sam counted on his hand casually, "Take your pick. The world's in danger."

"When is it not?" Rhodey commented under his breath but kept his quiet and silently considered the two men at their doorstep.

The way he saw it, Rhodey had three choices: 1) He could shut the door on their faces, never tell Tony about this and then wonder for the rest of his life if he had been petty, 2) He could sic Tony on them and let him decide what he wanted to do with this situation or 3) He could swallow his frustrations and issues for now, whip some bad guys, get out of this funk called Three Men Who Are Babies and then rain down hell on Steve Rogers.

"You make any funny moves, you try anything nasty and it'll be hell time," Rhodey said slowly, ignoring Vision's slight side-eye and focusing his stare at Steve, "Do we understand each other?"

"We do," Steve said firmly even if Sam simply nodded while assessing Vision with an unreadable look.

"Good, now get in, start your story and make it good," Rhodey said, leaning back on his chair, "cause we're gonna need the best excuse possible to stop Tony from either bolting himself or throwing you across the ocean when he comes back."

\-------

Another rock floated up to her hand level, hovered for a second, before flying across to hit the target board. The group of kids around her cheered out loud like she had just demolished the Berlin Wall and Wanda shyly grinned as Aza, the youngest of the lot, came up to her and patted her knee as though she was proud of Wanda. Knowing the smart and fierce 12 year old, Wanda wouldn't be surprised if she really was. Aza, the daughter of Dalila the chief Warrior Elite, was one of the few people who had no qualms about touching Wanda. She even eyed her with a bored expression when the Witch's hands sparked red sometimes.

It was good to bore someone into normalcy, Wanda thought strangely, as Aza turned around to her friends and firmly gave orders to go plan their afternoon raid of mangoes from the royal orchard. When the girl turned back to Wanda and looked up, the Sokovian raised an eyebrow in question but Aza rolled her eyes and tugged her inside the palace.

It was strange, stranger than fictional tales, to live in a palace. Granted, it wasn't one that had gold pillars or flying carpets or even people who fed you grapes (Pietro would have loved that, Wanda thought with a painful squeeze of her heart). But it was still a palace. One far more advanced and tech-savvy than the Facility or the Tower.

"Are you going to go back as well?" Aza asked in that soft but strong voice of hers and Wanda snapped out of her daze to blink at her.

"Hmm?"

"Mr. Rogers and Mr. Wilson have gone back, haven't they?" the child said patiently, shrugging one shoulder as they reached the balcony and she flopped onto one of the settees there, "Mother told me yesterday that they had some important duty. Something about saving the world. They're heroes, she said. Well, you're one too, right? So, are you going to go back too?"

Wanda blinked again and let out a breath when Aza simply stared at her, before settling down on the settee near her.

"I am not a hero" she said slowly, keeping her eyes trained on the scenery beyond the balcony, "I was given my powers for...purposes that aren't the same as Steve. I am-a useful ally."

Aza was wise beyond her years. Even T'Challa had said that when the girl had introduced herself to the bunch of heroes taking refuge in Wakanda. She had taken a strange liking to Wanda, constantly pulling the young woman out and cajoling her to try different things. Sam had joked that the girl had adopted Wanda to be her puppy.

Aza had simply sniffed at him and then whispered to Wanda that she preferred lionesses. Wanda didn't know why but she had simply smiled and nodded in reply.

Now, Aza was staring at her like she was stupid.

"You wish to save people?"

"Yes" Wanda answered hesitantly.

"You will fight for the right?"

"Yes"

"Then you are a hero," Aza snorted and ended the conversation at that. Wanda stared at her for a whole minute before shaking her head and imitating Aza's pose by leaning back loosely.

It wasn't that easy, Wanda knew that. She wasn't easy. There was nothing simple about who she was or where she stood. She remembered a time when she had been Aza's age, sitting in her house, bickering with Pietro over a set of paint. She remembered the time when she could walk through the dirty and crowded streets of her city, stuck between people and yet feel free. That had been simple. A life of looking forward to the next day alone and storing the previous day's memories in night-time prayers. She remembered that life, that girl who had a family once.

Today, Wanda was a volcano. She was lava, burning and blistering people in her way, both friends and others. Anger, even in a normal person's quota, would lead to an entire city being leveled. Fear would lead to collapsed buildings. Pain pushed people through floors. Sorrow lost the few eyes who would look at her without flinching. Today, Wanda was nothing more than a threat who could be used to advantage. Used, that was all she could be now. Loved was a verb she had stopped thinking about.

A few months back, she had seen a flicker of hope. Not for love, not for the impossible, but just for friendship. Solidarity. Peace. Vision wasn't human and Wanda had been foolish to think that maybe this, maybe that twisted fact would not destroy him for being in her company. He was immune to death and resistant to pain, right? He would not burn. 

Wanda felt hysteria build up at the childish dream she had harbored. 

The war, the entire horror had began because of her, she thought bitterly. Stark might blame Bucky and Steve for his hurt, but she knew, Wanda knew the reason this disaster had begun. She had  _felt_ emotion. That had been her mistake. If she had kept control, if she had held on to the level of blankness she envied Vision of, maybe she wouldn't have caused the disaster. Maybe the Accords wouldn't have come into play. Maybe Stark wouldn't have gone against Steve. Maybe they wouldn't have viciously ripped apart the fragile family they had all tried to build. 

Maybe if Wanda hadn't come into this circle, there would still have been a circle of trust.

"I am not a hero" she whispered to herself and closed her eyes against the regal sunset, "I am a curse misunderstood to be a boon."

She didn't hear any reply from her younger friend but later, when she woke up from the doze she had fallen into, she found a blanket on her an a pebble by her side, holding a note underneath.

" _Every pebble has a mission. It can both break and build._ "

Wanda let our a wrecked sigh and folded the note in her hand before closing her eyes again and dreaming that it was true. Dreaming that she was still somebody's friend.

T'Challa saw the young woman close her eyes again and let out a deep breath. 

He knew the poison of self-blame and self-hatred. To see such young life drown in that made him feel uncomfortable.

He stongly wished that there would be some way that these broken soldiers, these Avengers with nothing to avenge anymore, found their way back to life.

Back to a purpose that would give them each other back.

\--------------

Natasha got the call at 2 a.m.

At a time before the months she had spent in silence and hiding from the outer world, she might have calmly presumed it to be Avengers business. Now, she immediately clenched the knife below her pillow, before she flicked her phone open.

This couldn't be an Avengers mission. There wasn't any Avengers team anymore.

Her eyes took in the number and she hesitated to pick the call. It had been a moment of weakness, giving him the number. An emergency contact in case she got wiped out by some new threat. A failsafe. 

After two months of no contact from him, she had thought that she would never have to do it. There was no reason, she had dreamt.

The ringing got persistent after the first call died out.

"What?" she asked as soon as she took the call, keeping her voice calm and deadly.

"Code Blue"

Natasha inhaled sharply at that and bit the inside of her cheek. The knife rotated smoothly in her hand and she paused for two seconds to think about the possibilities.

"Level?"

"Ice"

She cursed smoothly under her breath and heard a silent agreement from the other side of the line. She had hoped that she could avoid this. She didn't want to break out of her cover this time.

But it was a Code Blue. And she hadn't done what she had done during the war for it to end with a self-sacrificing martyr attempt.

"Facility?"

"Confirmed." a pause and the voice tightened briefly, "Tasha, please."

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the headboard. Fuck him, she thought viciously. Fuck them all. They brought nothing but trouble her way. Trouble for nothing but their egos and personal issues.

"ETA 24 hours," she replied instead and took a deep breath before adding, "What about the  _other_?"

The pause in the line was prominent enough to give her the answer. Natasha  **hated** it when things didn't go her way or when people she fought for took her fight for granted.

Yet, she couldn't ignore this one.

"I'll be there," she said firmly and heard a hum in acceptance, "And Clint?"

The sigh on the other end was tired but understanding "I know."

The phone snapped shut and Natasha sat still on her bed. She knew that she didn't need to go. She didn't owe anybody anything anymore. That's what therapists said in their fancy rooms, right? You don't owe anybody your life? Natasha wished that she could accept that and move on.

She didn't want to go back to the world where people flew in metal suits or shields flew around. She didn't want to go back to the place where friends turned foes and nobody won anything but disaster. 

She didn't want to punch her way through another wall. She didn't want to be another's punching bag either.

Tony would lose it, she thought absently, twirling the knife in her hand. But that was a given, in any circumstance. Steve...and here her breath choked and fist clenched. Steve Rogers, the stubborn, self-sacrificing, amazing friend she had tried to save, he would be in front of the firing squad again. 

She wanted to wreck the room. She could, she knew that. She should maybe, just to spite someone who wasn't her.

She wouldn't though. Not when her own world was wrecked.

Breathing in deeply, she stood up from the bed and walked to the small wardrobe which had her go-to bag. 

She had lived though one war between friends. Between  _family_. If she had to live through another, she was prepared. At least this time she would not break emotionally.

After all, how would you break somebody who was already broken?

Natasha remembered Bucky's face at that and the bag's handle almost tore at the pressure of her fist. 

Maybe that was what assassins were fit for, she thought bitterly. Maybe people like her and Barnes were destined to stay sharp as shards. Never whole, always dangerous.

Picking up the bag, she calmly set out, picking her room key on the way and going out. She knew that she could hitch a ride anywhere easily.

She didn't know if her destination would be that easy to manage.

\-----------

"So you're telling me that we're all getting replaced," Rhodey said slowly, eyeing Sam for confirmation, "by aliens. Who want to destroy the world, but as us."

"That's a gist of it," Steve nodded shortly and continued, "We can't find out about every superhero with all the secret identities. The only person who can help us without ...the only person who can help is Tony."

"And what makes you think that he will?" Rhodey asked, more curious than accusing. 

Steve had been prepared for this question. He had spent a better half of the flight thinking about it.

"Because he wants the same thing we do. To protect the world" Steve paused and added the extra bit to convince Rhodey better, "He's still a hero."

"I wouldn't take such liberties of presumption" an extremely familiar voice came from behind and everybody froze, Vision looking behind Steve to look at the entrance of the living room.

Steve felt his heart get stuck in his throat and almost panicked. This was a moment he had thought about with every possible ending to it. This was his nightmare come true.

He slowly got up from the sofa and turned around to see Tony Stark standing in a slightly crumpled suit, wearing his signature red tinted sunglasses.

And a deadpanned look.

Tony removed the glasses from his nose and casually pocketed them before looking back up and staring right at Steve.

"Hello Rogers, long time no see," Tony said coolly, "here to finish the job?"

When Steve frowned at that in confusion, Tony raised an eyebrow and boredly looked at Sam.

"You know, the one your best friend started. Kill the Starks," Tony waved his hand vaguely and Steve grit his teeth painfully, "Aldo, hey! You've got a new accomplice with you."

"Tony..." Rhodey began with a soft warning tone and for the first time in his life, Steve saw Tony give Rhodey such a cold look.

"I'm sorry Rhodey, I'm talking to the killer-saver," he said with a false smile and crossed his arms.

"So, Rogers, what are you waiting for? Chop chop, don't waster your time. Get hitting."

Vision sighed to himself and wished he had some way to reverse time.

He would have gone back to Ultron and told the guy to never create him at all.

At least he wouldn't have to be stuck in this madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought only Tony was hurt here? *evil laughter*  
> I haven't brought Bucky in yet because it was dragging long as it was and I cannot sideline my Bucky. Scott will be filling in later too. How did you guys like it? Good? Bad? Feedback please my loves <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will focus on Steve and Tony a lot but that doesn't mean that the others will be sidelined. We'll have major parts devoted to them and their conflicts. I hope you guys like it.

Clint fidgeted in his seat one more time and felt Scott's eyes glance at him at the rear view mirror. The guy cleared his throat and then focused on the road again as Sophie continued her babble in the front seat, oblivious to the tension in the car. Cooper and Lila were fast asleep in the back and Laura was resolutely looking outside the window as she patted Nate's back softly. 

Clint had the insane urge to fidget again but held the tick in, knowing that Lila would wake up with all the squirming. This was the worst aspect of their lives now. Running with the kids. The others could go to Wakanda and be safe under T'Challa. Clint and Scott? They were not all that privileged.

Especially with their families in danger. Clint closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, trying to reign in the temper that always sprang up at that thought.

He would never forget the moment on the Raft when his fear had begun. When Stark had broken his trust completely. When he had been put in  _prison_ for helping out his friends, his family. 

Of course, Laura didn't share his view. She had heard the entire story once and that...

That had been the last time she had spoken to him properly.

The archer knew that Laura's views about the Avengers had changed ever since Sokovia. He had changed after that himself. The retirement had given him time to reflect on the life he had been missing, the time he should have been giving his kids and wife. There was a lot more to being a dad than just loving your kids or providing for them. Clint felt Lila shift against him and bury herself closer into his side in her sleep. He smoothed a hand over her hair and left it on her shoulder, thinking about the terrified look on his daughter's face when he had come back. She had stared at him cautiously for a whole minute before she had taken in Cooper hugging Clint. Clint had seen her small shoulder relax a bit at the assurance that he was really back. That he was alive.

The fact that Lila wasn't letting him out of her sight ever since was further proof that Clint needed to step up his game and think more about his kids. 

Unfortunately, Laura was a different matter altogether. That was the thing about grown ups, he thought to himself wryly as he glanced at his wife still looking out the window, they always learn to hold grudges better and stronger. Laura had been through hell and worse during the war. Clint didn't know how bad things had gotten in her mind but her haunted looks at times, when she thought he wasn't looking, told him that she had possibly imagined things worse than they were. He knew that she didn't have much of a soft corner for the Avengers anymore. Not all of them, since he had seen her looking at Natasha's picture once with a worried face. 

Laura cared about those she understood and resonated with. Which was why Clint didn't understand why she flinched every time either he or Scott spoke about Steve Rogers. He had tried asking her about it once but she had brushed him off, giving him a mystic and cold answer before going to check on Sophie. 

_There are choices and then there are preferences. I don't mix them up._

They never spoke about Tony, so Clint didn't get to see how she would react to  _him_. Somehow he didn't want to find out yet.

"We're there," Scott called out from the driver's seat and Clint came out of his daze to hum an acknowledgement. 

"Alright kids, time to unload," Clint said with a tired smile and felt lighter when Sophie and Cooper jumped out of the car to excitedly get their things, Scott and himself helping them out with the larger bags. Laura helped too, but Clint could feel the way she avoided coming too close to him. He bit his tongue to check his irritation and exhaustion but saw Scott's gaze linger on him for a bit before the guy looked away.

Great, he thought tiredly, now even Scott was able to notice it.

As they walked into the new safehouse, Clint's mobile chimed on a text alert and he whipped out his phone. He let out a sigh when he read the text from Wanda and smiled softly at the thought of his pseudo-kid being safe. When he looked up, he saw Laura staring at him with an unreadable expression. Before he could ask anything though, she looked down and turned on her heel, walking into the new house with Nate in her arms.

Clint sighed at his fate and everything that led to this point but picked up his bags nevertheless. If things were going to stay bad, they could at least stay warm and bad.

\-------------

"You're really going to do this?" Sam asked as soon as they got over a minute's silence wasted in shock and awkwardness, "You're actually going to do this, right now?"

Tony's eyes hardened and he opened his mouth to undoubtedly snap at Sam but the man didn't let him, ploughing through.

"We're not here for some reminiscent homecoming, Tony," he said calmly, knowing that there was no way Steve was going to bite this bullet, "You're mad, we're mad, everyone's mad at each other. That's the basic deal and we all know it. But right now, we need you to step up and save some people who need to know what's coming. There's a storm brewing and you're one of the people who can stop it. Now, are you in or are we wasting our time here?"

Rhodey had always admired Sam, even before the guy became an Avenger. They were quite alike in many things. They both believed in rooting for the larger good, in keeping their head above their heart, in protecting their stubborn ass friends who didn't think before jumping and in giving their all to their work without letting emotions cloud their judgement. 

There was also another part that connected them. They were both involved in the accident that had left Rhodey with the wheelchair and Tony's customized 'pantlegs'. Rhodey would never forget that and had no qualms about feeling bitchy about it at times but he also knew an alternate possibility. 

It could have been Sam in his situation. If Vision hadn't been distracted, if his aim hadn't been off, if Rhodey had been a few seconds late, if Sam hadn't ducked when he had -

If there hadn't been a mistake, it could have been Sam Wilson on a wheelchair. Sam Wilson, who would probably still be rotting in prison if Rogers or whoever Rogers had asked help from (Rhodey had an inkling but he wasn't sure) hadn't broken them out. Sam Wilson, who according to Tony, had been the only one who had bothered to help the genius-idiot even in prison. Sam, who had ditched his attempt at escaping to try to save Rhodey when he fell.

Rhodey hated Steve Rogers for a lot many things, for a lot many decisions and a lot many circumstances he let on, but he would always appreciate the fact that the guy got a good circle of friends. Sam Wilson was the shining example of that.

Rhodey knew all about having good friends. He also knew though, that despite his urge to shield Tony, to tell him to back off, he couldn't do it. Not with what he had heard. Not with the possibility of an alien war.

He turned to look at his best friend, thinking about saying something logical and placating when he saw Tony's burning eyes deflate. He could see the moment Tony lost his spark and looked tired. 

Rhodey hated that look on his Tony fiercely.

"I can't" Tony said shortly and Steve frowned slightly, gripping his small duffel harder. 

"You don't even know what we're -"

"I. Can't," Tony repeated, this time pointedly with a look of cold fury at Steve before looking at Sam with cool professionalism, "I can't just up and give you a list of people who have deliberately kept their identities a secret."

Steve stilled for moment, panicking about how Tony knew when they hadn't even spoken yet but then something struck him and he took a deep breath.

"He called you," he said pointedly and saw Tony stiffen, like he was physically rejecting the idea of Steve talking to him.

"Who called you?" Vision asked instead and Tony looked happier than normal to be giving attention to someone who wasn't Steve.

Tony stuffed his hands in his trouser pockets and turned his body just right, to face Rhodey directly and gave him the first cocky smile since a long time.

"Your Majesty," he said solemnly but his eyes twinkled just that bit, just a glimmer and Rhodey snorted out loud.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said with a small grin before meeting Steve's eyes with a manic glint, "Really? You went to the royalty? That's sweet, honestly, you're like the damn Cinderella who found her Prince at last."

Steve chose to ignore Rhodey's taunt and focused on Tony again.

"Why not?" he asked calmly, "You know the importance of this."

"Which is why I can't give it to you," Tony shot back sharply before his facade came back on and he continued in that utterly fake professional voice of his, "You're a fugitive harboring the most wanted assassin of the decade. You broke into a high-facility  _prison_ a few months back to release prisoners of the government, no stop-"

Tony raised a hand to halt Sam's rant at that bit before continuing slowly.

"-I know that wasn't a shitty thing when it comes to you and there's some weird morality ground there but still, in the eyes of the government, you broke out of prison. Not to mention, your trustworthiness has gone to the dogs."

Steve inhaled sharply at that and felt anger war with guilt.

"As compared to yours?" he retorted before he could control himself, "After all that happened, you really want to talk about trustworthiness?"

"No, but the powers that be does," Tony shrugged a tad too casually, a gesture he kept only for strangers and people he hated, "Also, you're technically not Captain America anymore, so you're also just a power-drunk junkie trying to save the world blindly. So, nope. Not gonna give you the list."

Rhodey knew Tony's capability to hit people just right with his words. It was vicious when you compared it to physical blows and the fact that Tony had learnt to hone that skill over years of facing people he didn't like made it only razor sharp. He had seen mightier men fall to the bait, suck in the insults and walk into the rage trap conveniently. He had seen practiced fakers slip in their calm. 

He had also seen Steve Rogers dodge attacks faster than a hummingbird. 

"Well then you'd have to join us," Steve said simply and Tony faltered in his facade for a second, a minute slip before the cautious cool was back on.

"I am  **not** helping you out in anything," Tony said calmly, moving forward neatly around Steve and coming to stand near Rhodey, placing a casual hand on the wheelchair's arm, "unless it involves a price."

Vision cocked his head at that and side-eyed Tony. Sam frowned a bit and looked at Steve. Rhodey had a good mind where this was going and braced himself to keep quiet and let Tony have this moment.

Steve simply stared at Tony, like he was expecting this. Tony didn't know why he hated that more than anything else.

"As long as it's not related to Bucky," Steve said after a moment's consideration, looking Tony straight in the eye, " or any of the team members, I'm okay with a price."

Now Tony remembered why he hated that more than anything else. He remembered the same determination, the same protectiveness, the same concern from the years before. He remembered being irritated, exasperated, awed, touched, annoyed and amazed by that before. He remembered being a part of the team-members Steve was talking about. He remembered being Steve's friend.

And then he remembered that now he was not.

"You're awfully cocky for someone who doesn't know what he's gambling," Tony commented lazily, clenching one hand inside his pocket.

Steve's eyes flashed with something, some emotion that Tony didn't place all that well. He remembered seeing something similar in the mirror sometimes, but he couldn't place a name on it.

"I learnt it from an old friend," Steve replied quietly and Tony felt the insane urge to throw the man out of the Facility. He knew that Steve was talking about Barnes, he just  _knew_ it and that hurt more than it should have.

He remembered T'Challa's call from the evening and had to bite his cheek from reacting.

_What's coming is bigger than all of us, Stark. We don't have to like each other to save the world. Save today, fight tomorrow. If not for anything else, do it for the people who trust you indirectly with their identities and lives._

_I imagine that kid with the spider suit would be one of them._

Bringing Peter into the conversation had been a dick move and Tony had been close to throwing away his phone at that point. But he knew T'Challa. The guy was a scientist,a man of logic. He was also a man who had forgiven Tony for the Wakandan disaster before, during Ultron's fiasco. Tony knew that the king wouldn't throw away words without thinking about them. 

He didn't like him much but he knew that the Black Panther was objective and smart. To Tony, he had some basic traits of Bruce. 

"Oh don't worry, Rogers," Tony said with a sickly arrogant smirk, "it won't be as dull as anything you're imagining. I'll find something adequate without them. Wouldn't want to hurt your precious little bubble again."

Steve's jaw clenched but he didn't say anything.

"When do we start?"

"Tomorrow," Tony said breezily, shifting until it looked like he was talking to the walls and Steve didn't even exist, "I've got therapy today."

Steve froze at that but Sam looked at Rhodey who barely contained his own surprise in time. In all the years they had heard about and known Tony Stark, nobody thought he would ever say those words voluntarily.

"We'll come back tomorrow then. I'll let you -"

"You leave this place and you're mince-meat," Rhodey said sharply and ignored Tony's raised eyebrow, focusing on Sam, "Ross' got the whole place scanning for you and the others. You leave and it's back to prison-time."

"And he won't catch us here?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow of his own.

"We have high security," Vision said simply but meaningfully and in that instant Sam realized that he was in the presence of an eccentric genius, a lethal android and a fierce soldier. 

"You're willing to protect us?" Steve asked dubiously and Tony bristled at that, though Steve wasn't sure why.

"This is a mission and a business deal, Rogers. I'm protecting my assets. Like I always do." The mocking in the last part of the sentence was clear even to those hard of hearing.

"There is nothing 'always' about this situation, Tony," Steve pressed on and Tony's eyes flashed fire before turning into ice, "With all that happened with -"

"A simple 'yes, we'll start tomorrow' will be enough," he said a tad too calmly, his tone warning of bringing in the past.

"Yeah, but I like to know that I'm not gonna be murdered in my sleep," Sam shrugged lightly and actually smirked at Tony.

"I'll give you a warning before I choke you," Tony quipped back with a shrug and Vision raised an eyebrow at his creator significantly.

"And that's all for today, folks," Rhodey said in a deadpanned voice before nudging Tony's arm and shifting his chair to roll back inside, "Pick a room farthest from the first three floors, don't come down for a midnight snack and don't try to talk to Friday. That'll  _protect_ you enough. C'mon Tones, time to go see about that  **therapy** you had."

"After you," Tony gestured and turned around to walk away.

He paused though before turning around and fishing a flip phone from his pocket. Steve recognized it immediately but had seconds to catch it when Tony threw it his way.

"Your package arrived. I never ordered it, so consider this a return," Tony said coolly, turning back around, "Use it to call your buddies instead. And do give my coldest regards to them while you're at it."

Without a backward glance, both friends left the floor, into the elevator. Leaving Sam, Steve and Vision standing awkwardly in silence.

Steve clutched the phone in his hand and felt a wave of frustration at the casually thrown away olive branch. He knew that Tony wouldn't forgive him but the phone and the letter had meant something. Something large on Steve's part. A step to try and mend things. To acknowledge the friend he had broken.

Having that friendship flung back on his face hurt Steve more than he thought it would.

Sam looked at him and then Vision, before sighing and hitching his bag higher.

"So we're taking the top floor apparently. Good, it'll be a great launch pad for when he decides to throw us off the roof. Sad that you can't fly, Steve."

\---------------

Peter was bored to death. There was no way around it. He was going to die of boring equations and more boring teachers who made his peers look smarter.

He let his pencil roll up the desk before catching it as it rolled down his chemistry paper. If he were the gum popping kind, he would be on his nth stick by now, waiting for something exciting to happen in the neighborhood. There was nothing today. No burglary, no grand theft auto, not even a shoplifting incident in the vicinity. With Aunt May's orders to clean up for dinner later, he couldn't even leave the house to have a good swing through the city. 

He glanced at the Stark watch on his table and sighed for the umpteenth time. 

For someone who prided on being strange and aloof, he was ridiculously starstruck by Tony Stark. Maybe it was the nerd bond or maybe it was the awesome suit he got from the guy. Whatever it was, Peter was still vibrating with excitement every time he thought about the prospects of working with the eccentric genius some day.

Fighting beside him had been  _awesome_. It also led Peter to meet breathtakingly amazing superheroes, so it was a case of win-win. Sure, he could have done without the almost-dying part but hey, he had actual battle-scars from actual superheroes who were basically legends. 

He was  _not_ complaining.

He was definitely complaining about today's boredom though. 

He picked up the watch and pressed the projector button lazily, flicking the words on his ceiling. 

 _Spiderman is coming back_. It looked so much cooler when it came from an amazing gadget from a gadget-whiz. 

He wondered how Tony and Captain America were doing now. If they ever got to sort out their kindergarten fight. If there was ever a freakingly awesome climactic intense fight sequence where they made goosebumps worthy speeches.

He wondered if they ever thought about selling tickets to their fights. People would never again go to action movies. Nothing compared to seeing real action heroes swinging it out in real life.

Peter sighed as he realized that he was going into fanboy mode verging on stalker crazy section again. Tony had told him to tone it down in that amused manner of his, the last time they had spoken. 

Eh, he thought with a mental shrug, Tony was a creepy, crazy and emotionally unstable genius with uncontrollable bad sense of timing, flirting and trouble. Didn't make him any less cooler when he saved the day in a titanium suit that got a chemically wrong name from an AC/DC song. Peter was not thinking too much into it. 

He liked Tony Stark. He also liked Captain America, Falcon, the dude with the metal arm and sexy swagger, Ant-Man who later became a giant, the archer guy who  _needed_ to join the national team and almost every other person from the Germany fight. Except for the Black Widow. Her Peter was slightly intimated by.

It wasn't helping that she was also seriously hot. MJ would agree, he thought defensively as he felt his creeper tendencies try to surge back.

He liked them all but he really liked Tony. Maybe it was the damaged genius syndrome or the awkward nerd complex, Peter wasn't sure. He just knew that the man wore a mask better than Peter's spider one. 

He sighed for the millionth time as he thought about the big league and was almost dozing off when his phone chimed. He jerked awake and glanced at it before taking a double take and gripping the phone harder.

If he let out a thrilled whoop in the next five minutes that might have scared owls nearby, who cared? Not Peter, who had just gotten another chance to meet the big league guys.

And this time, he didn't need to fight them even. 

Peter was going to impress them this time, he decided gleefully before he accidentally webbed his homework.

\----------------

**Precap for the next chapter:**

 

Tony froze and felt every nerve in his body thrum with shock.

"What do you mean by cryo?"

Steve looked less incensed and more pissed now and dragged a hand through his hair, pushing himself off the wall, his arms falling away from the barriers they had created for Tony.

"It doesn't matter," he spat lowly, turning away and glaring at the ground, "It's done. It was his choice. It's done. It's none of your business."

Tony whirled Steve around and pulled the man by his collar, instead getting dragged closer himself because Steve wouldn't budge. He was furious, his eyes spitting rage at every blink.

"You fought an entire war for that man," he said slowly, each word a threat, "You ruined my trust. You ruined the Avengers. You made me the bad guy. You destroyed everything for that man. And now you're telling me that it is none of my business? Bullshit, Rogers. Bull. Shit."

"Why do you care?!"

"Because I want to know how worthless my ruin was," Tony growled and Steve met his eyes with flaming ones of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to bring in Clint & Laura because I have so many headcanons about them. I told you guys that Tony isn't innocent, right? I'll try to resolve things later because I need them to start off as a broken team who don't trust each other. Not one bit. How did you guys like Rhodey-Sam? The teaser of Bucky? And my buddy Peter?  
> Please do leave your reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day morning came with the arrival of the bright orange sun and a dull looking redhead at the the Avengers Facility Compound. Vision, who had taken up the security charge had let her in without asking a single question, simply sighing and walking away when they reached the living room.

The next person to see her was Steve, when he came down in his usual white t-shirt and grey tracks, looking ready to punch some bags down. The stern frown he seemed to have carried from bed morphed into shock when he came face to face with her.

"Looking good, Cap," she drawled with a small smirk at the doggone expression on Steve's face, "Who's the lucky bag to get hit on this morning?"

Steve came out of his daze and huffed a half-hearted laugh at that before shaking his head.

"Should have known you'd follow," he said with a small smile and she simply shrugged, "When's Clint dropping in?"

Natasha delayed answering that question by moving around Steve and dropping her bag on the couch. When she turned around Steve was still looking at her with a raised eyebrow, clearly insulting her ability to deflect.

"You'll get your answer if her does drop in, won't you?" she answered with a shrug and plopped onto the couch languidly, staring up at Steve with a glint of a challenge to try and tell her to leave.

"It won't be pretty," Steve warned simply, knowing that she'd fill in the blanks.

Natasha snorted at that and tilted her head.

"I'm pretty enough for all the shit," she commented and smirked oh-so-innocently, "Besides, if you're still alive, I have a pretty high chance of survival in Mowgli's Jungle myself."

Steve thought of reprimanding her cavalier attitude but thought better of it and simply sighed, sending her a 'your fate' shrug before going towards the kitchen. Where he could pretend to be busy even as he kept watch over the living room. And could easily jump in if Tony came down and blasted the place.

Sam came down next though. He took one look at Natasha sprawled on the sofa, looked at Steve in the kitchen and promptly went back up, muttering under his breath about death wishes. When Rhodey came in next, he looked at Natasha for a minute, today wearing his special Stark Legs or War-Feet as Tony named them or rather PantLegs as Vision called them instead. He saw Natasha freeze when she saw him walking and smirked smugly, adding an extra swagger to his gait.

It was something they would have done before, Nat and Rhodey, when they lounged on the couch after gruelling Cap certified spars, or when Rhodey would go on his impromptu Tony-tales and try to mimic him or when they would have DDR wars. That had been a part of Natasha's life before, a smatter of cheer on a canvas of grim. 

Natasha smirked back and waggled her eyebrows calmly, something that would have looked familiar on Tony's face but on her own, it looked special. 

"Heard you 'bit' royalty," Rhodey commented, walking into the kitchen and casually picking up a protein shake from the fridge.

Natasha relaxed her shoulders a bit at the horrible pun but replied without missing a beat.

"Heard you finally moved in with your boyfriend," she quipped and Rhodey made a face around his first sip of the shake.

"Ugh, let a guy eat before making him throw up," he said with a mock shudder, "That's like incest."

"Oh brotherly love," Natasha sighed dramatically and Rhodey shook his head as he clearly ignored Steve and came back into the living room, stopping near the couch on which Natasha sat.

"Nuh-uh. More like babysitting," Rhodey paused and pointed with his bottle in Natasha's direction, "Wait, so does that make your boyfriend theory pedophilia?"

"Why are we talking about such interesting topics in Rhodey-town?" Tony's voice came from the elevator's side and everybody looked to see him come out of it in his Bruce Lee meme hoodie, "Who's the pedophile here and am I going to get a complaint from anyone?"

He then paused, right in front of the couch, tilted his head to the right and uttered a soft "Huh"

"Hi, Tony," Natasha says, uncharacteristically soft in her voice before her mask comes back up and she smirks, "Did you trash my bedroom to find any secret weapons yet?"

Steve noted the pride in 'my' and wondered how easy it had become for Natasha to assert that kind of right on Tony. He remembered finding out from Sharon that Tony had been the one to let Natasha off the hook. He had told her to watch her back, in his own veiled insulting manner, but he had made sure that she didn't fall into Ross' trap.

A few years back, at a time when Natasha had posed as a secretary at SI to review Tony's eligibility for Avengers Initiative, she had inevitably become the first among the team to betray him. She had been the first one to make the genius wary of SHIELD, of the Avengers. Her report had defined Steve's first impression of Tony Stark, the owner of a big, ugly tower and a company that had a cloud of weapons manufacturing over it. He yelled at him, called him names and became petty for his name because of her.

That's not right, Steve thinks immediately, she didn't put words in his mouth. She simply put words on a piece of paper.

Like an F on a recruitment form. They were only words. Steve knew that, he had known it since before his hibernation. Words on paper could never tell you about a man's heart and fire.

But that doesn't mean that Steve cannot feel bitter now, watching Natasha be confident of Tony's forgiveness, watching her look at him with a _right_ to be here. She has always known to stake her claim on those she cared about. She has always known to make a family out of broken bones and scarred souls. Even when they had taken town SHIELD at DC, Natasha had shown compassion towards Bucky and Steve, even as she bled in a police van. When she made a family, Natasha took her rights seriously.

Which meant that she had decided that Tony should forgive her for whatever had gone wrong between them. He hates that, Steve hates that with stale bitterness, even if he feels relieved that one of them has the guts to do it.

She had this even when she had broken Tony's trust before. Look how that ended, he thought hysterically as he remembered the under-rated friendship and snarky protectiveness Tony and Natasha shared. She became the one who got to name him Shellhead. He became the one who got to tease her about Bruce without getting killed.

Suddenly, Steve felt like an outsider even in his past. But maybe that was what he always was. That was what he had tried to write in that letter.

He shook his head out of the thought immediately and focused on the present. His ghosts did not have time here.

"Your bedroom?" Tony asks sardonically like he doesn't have a challenge in his eyes, like he isn't talking to another twisted soul who speaks actions and not words.

Natasha doesn't hesitate, she doesn't flinch. She had done enough flinching the last time they had met.

"It's the one with the best view of this place," she shrugs and cuts off the obvious peep-hole joke, "and the best booby traps."

Tony doesn't forgive her, he doesn't know if he has ever forgiven her for anything she's done, said or caused in his life. She's never apologized either, which is in a way good because Tony thinks that if Natasha ever apologizes to him, he'd have to hole himself up in a therapist's office. She's a realist, a CPR in his life. She likes to shock him, just when he thinks he is about to die or lose out. Tony has never liked her much but maybe that's because she's just another shade of him. An imposter who's making the best of what she lives. She wears her masks quietly while Tony has worn them in noise, but they have both worn them well for years. 

Which is probably why he had known, even when she first supported him, that she was supporting the cause and never against Steve. He had known and had been prepared for it. So forgiving was really not a question because she had made no loyalty that he could see for betrayal. Maybe that was what kept them sane, her and him. Knowing that she would never choose him over others made him confident in at least one person of the team he had known. She was a constant in that and Tony liked it.

"Whatever," he shrugs airily, a spark of old times, before he carefully stepped over her outstretched feet and walked to the kitchen, "If Ross attacks I'll throw you as a peace offering."

Steve felt himself freeze and almost opened his mouth to reprimand Tony when he saw Natasha reply.

"Oh yay, fun" she quipped in a deadpanned voice and it struck Steve that she  _knew_ Tony would never do it.

He was starting to get paranoid with every passing moment. But then the image of Clint, Wanda, Sam and Scott in a prison flashed in his mind and he thought maybe he wasn't being all that paranoid either.

For someone who had grown accustomed to war, fighting, caution, sacrifice and expectations, paranoia was a three square meal.

He knew, in his mind, a part which had every act of goodness from Tony Stark seared into it, he knew that Tony would never have let them rot there. He was ruthless when it came to getting his things done, when it came to having his way, but not at the cost of lives. Not at the cost of family.

Steve clenched his bowl of cereal harder when Tony brushed past him and picked up a mug of coffee, clearly having decided to keep 'Ignore Steve' as an agenda of the day.

He stays silent throughout breakfast, which Sam joins after a while in a better mood. Sam has no problem with taking over spaces, just as Natasha. He had it easier in him, the confidence and natural charm to stand his ground in non-hostile conditions. 

As Steve watched Rhodey banter with Sam dryly, not as same as before but still familiar in essence, his eyes met Tony's and saw a mirrored annoyance.

That was what connected them now. Annoyance and stilted silences.

"So," Natasha called out as she caught the juice pack Sam threw her from the kitchen counter, "Aliens."

"Like I told you will happen," Tony sing-songs, though his voice is still sharp and everybody knows it. Natasha  _looks_ at him for a minute before she turns to Rhodey and talks to him.

They discuss the basic plan of action like strangers spoke about subways. Names were thrown around, directions issued, suggestions given and viciously rejected. Tempers were still tender and trust was still vacant, so when Sam's phone buzzed for the seventh time, the irritation simply exploded.

"Would you just pick it up?" Rhodey sighs even as Tony's ramble about imposters and security snafus and  _oh God Natasha are you even real_ gets threateningly logical. 

Sam was busy defending his point to Steve, which was honestly why he couldn't control his shocked facial reaction at the first line he heard. Something he was cool doing usually but should have been more cautious about in the current situation.

Tony, who had been itching for a fight or a release system since he walked in, raised an eyebrow but Sam avoided his eyes and got up. He made a vague gesture with his hands that meant that he was going in for the call before walking away from the room.

"Sorry, you were saying?" he said once he had ensured that he was alone in the bedroom that once used to be Wanda's.

" _We have found a way to crack Barnes' triggers._ " T'Challa's voice filters through and Sam held his silence, " _But we'll need Steve to be here when that happens."_

"Then you should have called Steve," Sam replies with a sigh before continuing, "Man, I don't know if now's the time to do this. If Steve leaves now, we might lose hold of Stark and you know we need him right now."

" _Keeping Barnes in the cryogenic state for more than necessary will push any chances of progress behind,_ " T'Challa sounded patient but sharp in tone, " _I tried calling Steve but his phone seems to be blocked. Sam, you have to inform him about this. It is time-sensitive._ "

"T'Challa..."

" _Wilson, there is only so much I can help with,_ " the royal's voice cut him short calmly, " _I owed the Captain and Mr. Barnes a debt of guilt which I will repay to my highest capacity. But I cannot ensure my continued support if I do not have your cooperation._ "

Sam thought for a minute about it. He **knew** that this matter would take precedence for Steve but he also knew that the situation at present was on sensitive grounds as it was.

"Alright, keep him in the cryo till he gets there," he accepted quietly, "I'll handle Tony here in the meanwhile."

T'Challa answered in positive and cut the call. Sam closed his eyes for a minute and breathed out to school his features back to indifference when he heard the voice.

"If you're gonna **handle** me, I suggest you get better instincts and security."

Sam clenched his jaw and turned around to see Tony standing against the door, his own phone in hand and a tight smirk on his face.

Before Sam could speak up, he saw Steve walk up behind Tony with a steely frown at the genius' head, eyes moving towards Sam before his frown deepened.

"Sam?"

"Oh, goody, everybody's here," Tony exclaimed with fake cheer before turning around to look at Steve with a raised eyebrow, "Hey, by any chance you wanna try explaining why your buddy is talking about handling me while you fly away? Or do I have to sift through another bunch of lies to figure it out?"

Steve looked at Sam with questioning eyes who stared at Tony before looking at his own phone. Steve's expression cleared a bit before he scowled at Tony.

"You left an important mission discussion to eavesdrop on Sam?" he asked in a tone that would have made Tony sheepish some time back. Now though, he simply chuckled condescendingly and tilted his head to stare at Steve better.

"Yeah, right, we're gonna talk about ethics and trust now, uh-uh, nope, not happening," he rolled his eyes and shot Sam a look, "Who's in a cryo?"

Steve froze at the question and shot a shocked look at Sam who looked frustrated with Tony.

"What?"

"Cryo, that's what he said, and I'm judging that's not the name of a spa," Tony shrugged casually but looked at Steve with challenging eyes, "So who is it?"

"None of your business," Sam said calmly but Tony laughed at that.

"Oh I'm sorry, but when I'm harboring your fugitive asses, anything and everything you do becomes my business," he said with a smirk, "And when you try to hide something that only makes it more important. Hey, Rogers, weren't you the one who taught classes on not keeping secrets from the team?"

"So you're part of the team now?" Sam asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Didn't you know? Your Cap here, donated the team to me in writing," Tony batted his eyes innocently, "Yeah, something about a team being a family and yada-yada-da. He didn't tell you about the transfer of family? Now, that's just rude, Rogers."

Steve looked physically hurt when Sam looked at him and saw him staring at Tony. He had no idea what Tony was talking about but apparently Steve did, because he took a small breath and looked at Sam firmly.

"Sam, would you give us a minute?"

Sam looked like he was going to protest but Steve just looked at him with reassuring eyes. The Falcon sighed and walked past them outside, but not before shooting Tony a disappointed look.

Tony thought that Steve had trained him well in that.

"Why are you doing this?"

Tony frowned and looked at Steve.

"Doing what? Asking questions? What, now that's taboo with you guys?

"Sam did nothing wrong to you," Steve said quietly, "He simply disagreed with the Accords and helped me. He was doing everything to help me. He did nothing to hurt you."

"Doesn't mean I should be fine with secrets," Tony shot back, "And don't try deflection with me, I do it better than you. Now, what are you two hiding?"

"It's nothing related to the mission." Steve said calmly but Tony scoffed.

"It's something that made him tell someone that he'll **handle** me, I think that means that I need to know about it."

"Not everything is about you, Tony."

"Something I've heard a million times, still does nothing here. Who's in a cryo? Zemo?"

"No, and you really should mind your own business."

Tony stared at Steve calculatingly before his eyes narrowed.

"Where's Barnes?"

"What?"

"Barnes, you know, your long lost soulmate?"

"What, now you're worried about him?"

"Worried about myself, so where is he?"

"He's not going to harm **you** anytime soon, so you shouldn't be worrying.'

"He should also have been dead seventy years ago but that didn't stay the case, did it?"

Steve growled and advanced on Tony who was now leaning back against the wall near the door. Tony didn't move an inch and simply stared back haughtily.

"DO you have any respect or empathy for people, Stark?"

"For people, sure. For killer machines? Hmm, nope."

For an instant Tony thought that Steve was going to hit him when his arms came up. But then they hit the wall on either side of his head and he raised an eyebrow at a fuming Steve.

"This coming from the Merchant of Death? You're such a hypocrite, Stark."

"Maybe, but at least I'm not starting wars or running away from the people who need me when my best friend comes back!"

"What is the matter with you?! He was abused mentally for seventy years by Hydra!"

"And yet you thought it fit to let him loose among unsuspecting civilians instead of getting him therapy. Like I HAD OFFERED!"

"He's safe from everyone now, isn't that enough?!"

"But are everyone safe from _him_?!"

"He's in a damn cryo, Tony, what the hell can he do to you?!"

Tony froze and felt every nerve in his body thrum with shock.

"What do you mean by cryo?"

Steve looked less incensed and more pissed now and dragged a hand through his hair, pushing himself off the wall, his arms falling away from the barriers they had created for Tony.

"It doesn't matter," he spat lowly, turning away and glaring at the ground, "It's done. It was his choice. It's done. It's none of your business."

Tony whirled Steve around and pulled the man by his collar, instead getting dragged closer himself because Steve wouldn't budge. He was furious, his eyes spitting rage at every blink.

"You fought an entire war for that man," he said slowly, each word a threat, "You ruined my trust. You ruined the Avengers. You made me the bad guy. You destroyed everything for that man. And now you're telling me that it is none of my business? Bullshit, Rogers. Bull. Shit."

"Why do you care?!"

"Because I want to know how worthless my ruin was," Tony growled and Steve met his eyes with flaming ones of his own.

Both of them stared at each other silently, daring the other person to land the first strike. Steve remembered a similar situation years ago, when they had first met and wondered how bad things had gone for them to go back to the start.

Tony wondered how crazy Steve had become to put Barnes back into a cryo.

"So are you going to kiss now or do we come back after half an hour?"

Steve whirled around at the same time that Tony snapped his head up to see Natasha standing at the entrance with Vision, Sam and Rhodey behind her.

Rhodey was staring at Tony with an unreadable expression while Vision just looked impassive. Sam was looking at both Steve and Tony with ill-concealed exasperation.

Natasha looked expressionless except for her eyes that spit flames of their own.

"Tony..." Rhodey called out in a firm voice but the genius just shook his head and moved past Steve.

"No, I'm done here. Tell me when you come up with a decent plan that won't get us all killed," he said with fake calm and paused beside Sam, "and whoever wants to leave should just go. I've got better things to do than handle telenouvella drama here."

Without waiting for anybody to say anything, he stalked out of the door. Rhodey paused for a minute, looking between Steve and Sam, before he left too but not before nodding at Sam. Vision left with him.

Natasha stayed, staring at Steve, who looked exhausted and lost. She stepped forward and glared at him till he looked at her.

"Explain" she said in her lethal but soft tone and Steve felt the beginnings of a migraine.

\----------

"If you're here to tell me I screwed up, you don't have to," Tony said without looking up from his phone.

"Okay"

"I'm serious Rhodes, I don't want to hear anything about how I handled anything," Tony warned and Rhodey simply sat on the stool next to Tony's.

"Okay"

Tony frowned and tilted his head, looking up at his best friend who was not looking at him, instead observing the schematic in front of him.

"You're not here to tell me I'm wrong?"

"No" Rhodey shrugged, "I'm here to see what new tech you're developing to handle our new alien guests."

Tony blinked and stared at Rhodey for a minute before nodding and getting back to his work.

"Besides, I don't have to tell you anything you already know," Rhodey added after a pause and Tony huffed before sitting up.

"Really? You're gonna come at me like that?" Tony raised his eyebrows and stared at his best friend.

"I always come at you like that, why're you so surprised?" Rhodey raised an eyebrow himself and casually flicked a holograph to the right to view the next part of he schematic.

"Because I thought you were on my team," Tony muttered as he pulled back the page that Rhodey had pushed away, "Don't touch my data."

"Why? Will it get cooties if I do?" Rhodey asked sarcastically and lightly kicked Tony's leg under the stool, "And when are you ever gonna get over your team madness? What is this, Camp Rock?"

"You're watching Disney again," Tony shook his head mockingly, "also, please remind me who had a stronger grudge against Rogers till a few days back? I distinctly remember a new vocabulary of words you made for him."

"Yeah, and I still don't think all that great about him, I'm consistent," Rhodey smirked.

"So you're being a hypocrite," Tony shrugged.

"No, I'm talking about someone who isn't Rogers," Rhodey corrected and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Rhodey, do you know anybody I **haven't** eavesdropped on?"

"I'm talking about Barnes," Rhodey said patiently, ignoring Tony's flippancy.

Tony froze for a second but then continued working silently.

"You don't wanna talk about it," Rhodey guessed correctly after a minute.

"How well you know me," Tony replied in a deadpanned voice.

"That's cool, it's not like you told me what happened among you three in Siberia," Rhodey shrugged, "And I'm not asking either."

"Then what?" Tony asked in an irritated voice.

"He's still innocent," Rhodey said and Tony whipped up his head to glare at him but Rhodes simply stared back calmly, "For the UN bombing. He didn't do it."

"You don't know half of what he did," Tony spat and Rhodey raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Sure, but I **do** know that you're not a guy who is dumb enough to blame a mental-abuse victim of crimes he couldn't control," he said casually, "even if it is the Winter Soldier."

"Rhodes..."

"That's why you came up with B.A.R.F., right?" he continued, ignoring Tony's warning, "And you yourself said that it is one of your best tech inventions."

"I'm not actively hunting the guy down, am I?" Tony gritted, "And I'm sure that T'Challa has good tech of his own."

"So why the anger?"

Tony closed his eyes and kept silent, trying to regulate his breathing.

"Let it go, Rhodes," he said quietly after a couple of minutes, "I'm not going to intentionally harm the guy, I'm not stopping Rogers from helping him. I'm just...not comfortable with him myself."

Rhodey looked at his best friend for a minute before nodding and turning back to the schematic.

"Alright, Tones," he whispered, "As long as you're okay and this doesn't stop you from saving the world."

"Has it ever?" Tony asked with a tired smile and Rhodey nudged a shoulder at him before they fell into companionable silence. Tony continued to work on his detector and Rhodey stayed beside him for an hour before he got up to go.

"Hey, Rhodey?"

"Hmm?"

"You think Banner will mind if I dragged him back into this freak show?"

Rhodey paused and looked at Tony with a frown.

"Has it ever stopped you before?"

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm kind of lazy to repair the building if Hulk rains hell at us."

Rhodey rolled his eyes and walked away throwing a parting comment.

"Your friends, your decision, Tones."

Tony huffed at that and watched Rhodey get into the elevator to leave. He looked back at the schematic in front of him and sighed. Rhodey always said that about the Avengers. He always thought that they were his friends and that they were all close.

Tony didn't know how he still thought so.

But Bruce was not just his 'friend', Tony reasoned with himself. He was also a scientist, a bright mind that could help with the mission.

He was also one of the few people Tony hadn't gone against yet. Maybe he wouldn't go against Tony too?

"Friday, pull up Bruce's tracker, will you?"

The AI complied with a long-suffering pause at her boss' complex nature.

A few floors above, Natasha sat on the bed with a sigh.

"He knows," she confirmed and Steve nodded.

"He actually saw the video," she repeated and Steve nodded again with a frustrated huff.

"And now Bucky is in a cryo?"

"Yes, Natasha, how many times will you confirm it?"

Natasha didn't respond to the jab, knowing the nervous tell of Steve quite well. She simply closed her eyes and breathed out tiredly.

"Господи спаси и сохрани" she sighed and Steve knew enough Russian to agree with her silently.   


**Precap for next chapter:**

“Bruce, what are you…”

“I am telling you that it wasn’t all on you,” Bruce said firmly, “Yes, you were part of it and you could have changed things, but it wasn’t all on you. Not everything. So if you think that you are the villain, then you’re reading the wrong story. In the story I know, you are just another hero who fumbled but tried to stand back up.”

“You sap,” Tony drawled with a wink but his voice wavered and Bruce could see the tears he was holding back. Tony was too conditioned to being Iron Man to accept any weakness, even if it was in the form of much needed tears. Bruce knew that he wouldn’t break down, not today, not in front of another Avenger, especially not in front of the one person who hadn’t seen him break down during the war.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying really hard to kick-start the plot properly but my muse is stopping me. I feel like I've not explored a few emotions well yet, so here's another long ass chapter of emotions. I'm really sorry if this is going slow for you. I'll catch onto the Skrull part soon, I promise.

Bruce wasn't surprised when he came to a broken team. Honestly, he had expected worse. The news of the Accords had been widely discussed in Fiji, where he had tried (tried being the key word) to keep a low profile. 

At first, when he had caught the news on a TV in a meat-shop, Bruce had come extremely close to Hulking out. The vendor at the shop had looked at him cautiously for a few days after that, expecting him to go catatonic any minute.

Truthfully, it was a miracle that Bruce hadn't gone catatonic. 

When he got Tony's call, he cut it without picking it up. For the first 30 times, he repeated the same routine.

At the 31st call, he was ready to blast at the man once and for all before switching off his phone completely. He had been prepared for whining, inappropriate jokes, rants, excuses and everything he had seen from Tony Stark before.

He had not been prepared for the somber tone of a Tony Stark he had imagined in his nightmares. There had been no trace of humor, no energy spike or adrenaline in his voice. He had simply asked Bruce to help them out in tracing aliens.

"Please, Bruce" he had said quietly and Bruce's heart started questioning sanity. And then Rhodes had sent a message, asking Bruce to come back.

" _I_ _think we've never needed you more, Dr. Banner_ " the message had read and Bruce had wondered how bad the situation might be.

When he had set foot in the Compound, hidden from heat signatures and face-recognition by Tony's cloaking tech, he had gotten an excellent read of things.

This wasn't a team, he thought as he watched everyone walk on egg-shells. This was the chemical mixture he had unfortunately predicted a long time back. A pathetic set of chemicals, to be honest.

Steve and Natasha had been missing when he came. Vision, bless his manners, had simply told him that they had gone to Wakanda to meet Bucky Barnes.

Bruce remembered that name from an old comic but looking at Rhodey and Vision's faces at the sound of it, he wondered it meant the same person.

Tony hadn't even stayed in the same room when they started talking about Bucky. He had simply told Bruce to come down to the lab when he was ready before disappearing into it himself.

Bruce had known Tony well enough to not listen to him immediately. He was still angry at Tony for siding with Ross, but something in the man's eyes, in his vacant smirk, told him that there was more to the story than it met the eye.

Bruce was a quiet man in general, but when it came to matters he held important, he could be more stubborn than both Steve and Tony. It hadn't taken Vision more than five questions to spill the beans.

And then Bruce had gone to Sam, because no story was complete without knowing both sides. Sam had taken one look at Bruce and had sighed like he was doomed.maybe he was, Bruce thought wryly. Nobody wanted to anger the Other Guy.

Sam had spoken carefully, leaving things unsaid, making Bruce read between the lines and trying to paint a neutral picture. Bruce had heard enough friends and followers to know the kind. he knew where to poke, where to stop, where to dig deeper and where to stay silent. People usually misjudged Bruce to be naive, when he was simply satisfied in preserving his intelligence for important things.

It took him an hour to place things together and see the whole picture. It took him fifteen minutes after that to control the Other Guy.

It took him two hours to calm Bruce Banner enough to meet his friend Tony Stark.

When Tony saw him enter the lab, he simply smiled and nodded before getting back to work. Bruce was okay with that. He was good at waiting for the right moment.

The right moment came 45 minutes into the fabrication of the Skrull detector. 

“Why’d you let me go?”

Bruce could hear Tony's fingers stop flying on his virtual keyboard but the silence remained. He knew that it was an unfair question to start with, but between Bruce and Tony, when had they ever been fair?

He meant the question the way it was. Everybody thought that Bruce had run away, that he had escaped. Only Bruce knew that Tony had let him run, that he could have tracked him at any time, seeing that it was his stealth jet that Bruce had taken. But Tony hadn't done it.

It was things like those that made Bruce confident of his fiendship.

“I tapped out of the Avengers because of my guilt. If you decided to fly away from us for the same reason, who am I to stop you?”

Bruce nodded but asked another question.

“But you didn’t track me down. Didn’t bring me back for the war.”

“Did you want to fight?”

“No”

“Well, you have your answer. Even though I didn’t hear a question.”

There was a beat of silence as both scientists worked in their spaces, the only sound permeating the air was of Tony breathing erratically and Bruce tweaking the reader.

“Would you have supported me in the war?”

Bruce didn’t look up from his machines but his hand did pause for a second in the tweaking. Tony had stopped working altogether and was simply staring at his hands.

“No”

Tony didn’t startle at the answer and simply nodded his head, having anticipated it already.

“Would you have changed your mind about the Accords if I had been here?”

Tony smiled bitterly at that, knowing that he could easily lie right now. It didn’t matter, it was a hypothetical situation and nobody would know the truth.

Except for him. And Bruce. Who always knew Tony like a reflection knows its source.

“Not really,” Tony admitted quietly and heard Bruce continue to work without stopping. He tapped his fingers on the table as he let himself think on this line before continuing.

“But I wouldn’t have let Ross get you.”

The sound of Bruce working stopped but Tony didn’t look up. He didn’t look up when he heard the familiar squeak of Bruce’s old sneakers. He didn’t look up when he felt a heavy presence behind his chair.

“Tony..,” Bruce’s voice came out softly but Tony simply bit his cheek and resolutely didn’t turn, “Tony, look at me please?”

The billionaire broken man took a shaky breath and complied, knowing that Bruce was as stubborn as himself and wouldn’t relent till he got his way.

When he didn’t look up though, he saw Bruce kneel down to come to his level. He shrugged defiantly when the doctor smiled sadly.

“You wouldn’t have had a choice in ‘letting’ him get me,” Bruce said calmly, eyes soft but sad, “I wouldn’t have signed the Accords, not with people like Ross in charge of it. And when I would have declined to sign, I would have automatically become your rival. You would have hunted me too, like Sam, Steve and the others. Or you would have locked me in the Tower, like Wanda. You would have either been patronizing or powerless. And then, when I would have become angry, you would have had to fight me. That would have ended in either me killing you or you putting me in prison like the rest.”

Tony was biting his cheek so hard by now that Bruce knew that there would be blood pooling in his mouth. The genius’ eyes were flitting between hurt, anger, denial, guilt, helplessness and an emotion Bruce knew Tony to be well acquainted with now. Self-loathing.

He placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder and the other on his knee, making sure that he was firmly grounding his friend. He knew how tactile Tony was, even if Bruce himself wasn’t. Right now though, he would easily overlook that, to make sure that Tony understood what he was going to say next. He needed Tony to be clear about his next words.

“It didn’t happen though,” he said evenly, squeezing Tony’s knee till the man looked at Bruce’s eyes, “It didn’t happen. We didn’t fight. You and me, we did not have a war between us. It didn’t happen because you didn’t involve me in this circus. You didn’t put me in that position, Tony. You made sure that I didn’t have to be a monster again.”

“You were never a monster,” Tony interjected in a murmur and Bruce could see a pinch of red staining his teeth, “A mad scientist, yes. Monster, no.”

“And you were one of the first people to believe that,” Bruce nodded with a small smile before holding Tony’s gaze, “I’m not saying this to bloat your ego or patronize you, I want you to remember that. I am not trying to feed your pride. I am saying this because it’s the truth and I mean it.”

Bruce paused and took a breath before continuing firmly.

“You are not a villain, Tony Stark,” he said quietly and saw Tony trying to brush it off with an eye-roll, leading him to squeeze the genius’ shoulder harder, “No, listen to me. I am not saying that you were right about the Accords or that you didn’t make mistakes. I am also not trying to be your therapist, because you **know** I’m not that kind of a doctor. But I am also not the kind of friend who will let you ruin your worth and potential for this. You are not a bad guy. You are not a monster. You are not responsible for everybody’s doom. You, Tony, are human. A flawed one, just like the rest of us.”

“I’m also the human who makes the worst mistakes, those that always threaten to ruin the team.” Tony pointed out wryly and Bruce had to push down the Other Guy at the absolute conviction of self-hatred seated in this man.

“It just so happens that you are also the only person who ever takes initiatives to work towards **preventing** future disasters,” Bruce countered with a raised eyebrow at Tony’s scoff, “Yes, okay, sometimes, even more than sometimes, they don’t end up successful. Tell me something though, is there any scientist who has ever succeeded in any revolution, any spectacular invention or theory, is there anyone who has done that right in the first attempt every time?”

Tony frowned at Bruce and the doctor felt the first flare of hope. Maybe he could do this, he thought, maybe he could get through to Tony.

“I’ll take that frown as a no,” he commented as he continued, “Have you ever got it right, with all your inventions, in the first attempt? Have I? No, neither of us has. And if I may say so factually, we both know our subjects better than most.”

“Modest, Banner,” Tony snorted and Bruce nodded with a slight grin.

“We are scientists, Tony. Futurists. We keep pushing ideas forward, we keep pushing the limits of knowledge, we strive to achieve the imaginable and unimagined,” Bruce shrugged lightly, “You can’t find out the right answer without attempting a question. You can’t succeed without taking risks. You take risks. With the suit, with your Tower, with the Avengers, with your inventions, with your AI, with everything you try, you take risks. Yes, sometimes those risks are too high and don’t come through.”

“Ultron was not a risk, Bruce. He was unchecked power. He was my overconfidence,” Tony reminded bitterly.

“Ultron was an unfinished project that went out of hand because of unprecedented variables,” Bruce replied, “Yes, he was a mistake. A grave one. But he was just that, a mistake. You did not intentionally build a murder-bot. You and I, we were aiming to protect the world, our world that is now being threatened by aliens like we predicted. We were attempting to do something bigger than all of us and we messed up. The result was horrible and inexcusable. But that doesn’t mean that you are inexcusable forever and for everything you do.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Tony sighed tiredly and ran a hand through his hair, “What does it matter now?”

“It matters because nobody else has told you this,” Bruce said simply and saw Tony’s jaw clench, “Okay, correction, Rhodey has but you’re clearly doing a fantastic job of not listening to him because you blame yourself for his condition.”

Tony glared at that but Bruce raised an eyebrow challenging him to deny it. He had learnt the technique from Rhodey himself and it always worked.

“Nobody on this team knows Thaddeus Ross better than me. They don’t know what it is like when he puts you between a rock and a hard place,” he pushed on calmly, “You chose to align with him in the Accords and yes, I think that was a mistake. But I also know that if you hadn’t, if you had rebelled like Steve, then Ross would have locked you all up in seconds. You chose the Accords out of guilt and your self-loathing. Nobody on this team knows that as well as I do. Well, maybe Wanda does now, but I’ve had it for years and I might supersede her on this. You took a path, a cursed path, to try and save the good parts, to salvage the team left. You chose to side with Ross to try and keep the Avengers together and outside the prison.”

“Well, that backfired amazingly, didn’t it?” Tony snapped harshly but Bruce kept his hold on his friend.

“Yes, it did,” he agreed wryly, “but it backfired because you weren’t united. It didn’t work because you couldn’t convince the others. That’s nothing new, it happens every time you try something you think is right. The thing that’s important though, is that you tried to salvage the situation. In a stupid way sometimes, but you tried. And when you found out about certain misunderstandings, you took a decision to correct them. You, Tony, you were ready to back down and help Steve. Steve was trying to save the team and so were you. And you guys would have succeeded if you two had been united. Unity doesn’t involve only one person extending a hand, Tony. It needs the other side to take it too.”

“Bruce, what are you…”

“I am telling you that it wasn’t all on you,” Bruce said firmly, “Yes, you were part of it and you could have changed things, but it wasn’t all on you. Not everything. So if you think that you are the villain, then you’re reading the wrong story. In the story I know, you are just another hero who fumbled but tried to stand back up.”

“You sap,” Tony drawled with a wink but his voice wavered and Bruce could see the tears he was holding back. Tony was too conditioned to being Iron Man to accept any weakness, even if it was in the form of much needed tears. Bruce knew that he wouldn’t break down, not today, not in front of another Avenger, especially not in front of the one person who hadn’t seen him break down during the war.

Which is why Bruce simply shrugged and let go of Tony, standing up and stepping back. He couldn’t crowd Tony with too many emotions, not when even the simplest facts, things that Tony _should have known_ by now, were threatening to cause a break down in him. Bruce knew all about guilt, self-loathing and being a villain in your own story. He knew how it felt to be alone in the midst of people you love. He knew what it meant when even a single person believed in you, without conditions and restrictions.

He knew what it felt like to be empty. And it hurt him to realize that he had ignored the symptoms in Tony.

It hurt even more when he understood that he wasn’t the only one who had done that.

He casually went about his business again, ignoring Tony’s form for a while, letting the man regroup his thoughts and reclaim his dignity. After a while he heard Tony get up from his chair and knew that the genius was back to work.

At the end of the day’s work, he stretched his back and looked up, blinking at Tony still sitting on his chair, hunched over his work. Bruce watched him for a moment before standing up and murmuring a quiet goodnight that got a hum as acknowledgement.

As he was exiting the door though, he turned back slightly and gave one last shot for the day.

“Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think I was to be blamed for the destruction in Johannesburg during the Ultron time?”

“No,” Tony replied instantly but looked up and frowned at Bruce, “You were under Wanda’s voodoo. The Big Guy didn’t even realize what was happening. Why’re you asking this now?”

“So you think that because I was being mind-controlled,” Bruce asked calmly, “my actions weren’t mine to be blamed for?”

“Bruce, if you were wrong, would I really have tried to protect you from the WSC and government?” Tony asked exasperatedly.

Bruce simply hummed in response, even though he was grinning internally.

“So, what happened, all that I destroyed, wasn’t really my fault,” Bruce confirmed one last time, “I’m not a murderer or a monster for that.”

“Banner…” Tony sighed tiredly and rolled his eyes but huffed and answered when the doctor kept looking at him hopefully, “Yes, okay? Yes, and I can’t believe you’re still asking.”

“Just confirming your stand,” Bruce quipped and turned around to leave, letting the bomb drop at the last second, “because history seems to have repeated itself in the team. Or people that the team knows.”

Bruce didn’t wait for Tony’s reply or protest, going to his room without looking back. His work was done. Now, the ball was in Tony’s court.

That night, Tony didn’t leave the workshop. Strangely, Bruce’s words didn’t leave his head either.

He also did not glare at Steve's shield in his workshop.

\--------------

Steve watched Natasha move around Bucky with ease and felt a mixture of jealousy and comfort. He was glad, he really was glad that Natasha had chosen to accompany him on this urgent trip back to Wakanda. He knew, he had a hint, that there was some history between Bucky and her, probably from the Red Room or missions they had been part of from a past time. Natasha hadn't disclosed much, but then she never did it about anything else as well.

All he had to assure him was that Bucky wasn't uncomfortable with her. His eyes had held a spark of surprise when he had seen her enter the room, behind Steve. The surprise had quickly morphed into caution but it wasn't one of fear, which was good in itself.

Steve had spoken to Bucky for a while, assuring him of getting better with the trigger removal. Bucky had nodded along but his eyes had looked sad and hopeless.

And then Natasha had taken over, with her low voice and sharp gaze. Steve had gotten out of the room when she had started talking in Russian and Bucky's eyes had widened a bit in recognition. 

Now, he sat outside the glass room, with Wanda standing beside him. Wanda, who had been silent ever since Steve had come back.

"How're things at the Compound?"

Steve shrugged at the question and thought about flaming brown eyes challenging him. 

"We'e working on a detector," he replied, "Tony's...he still has the names to himself."

Wanda didn't say anything and Steve thought that they would go back to silence.

"Clint," she began again and Steve looked up to see her properly, "After the prison, Clint and Laura...they must be having a tough time."

Steve nodded, wondering if he should contact the man to check up.

"I'll try contacting him soon," he promised quietly.

Wanda nodded and went back to watching Bucky. The silence became heavy and suffocating for Steve as he did nothing but watch his best friend through a glass window.

"I'm sorry," he said after a while and Wanda looked at him with a questioning frown, "The prison...the war...I dragged you all into it. I could have avoided -"

"Saving Bucky?" Wanda asked pointedly and Steve bit back a wince, "Or destroying the chances of sixteen more Winter Soldiers getting free? What exactly could you have avoided? Please Steve, don't apologize for unavoidable circumstances."

"I hurt Tony," Steve blurted, getting a slow look from Wanda which made him sigh.

"It was a war," she said with a frown, "Everybody got hurt. Why is Tony special?"

"Not during the war," Steve shook his head and struggled to get the words out, "Not physically. Well, physically too but...there was more."

Wanda kept quiet, giving Steve the time and space to continue if he chose to. 

"If you don't want to explain, you don't have to," she said after a while and saw Steve shake his head tiredly.

"No, it's not that," he breathed out, "It's- I don't want to keep any more secrets but I don't know how to-it's a little complicated."

"Steve, has anything been simple with us?" Wanda asked with a small smile and Steve smiled sadly in reply.

"Yeah..yeah, I guess not"

The silence stretched again, with Wanda choosing to look at Bucky instead of staring Steve into an uncomfortable situation. 

"There was an archive," Steve began after some time, staring at the ground as he remembered Zola's voice, "A computerized set of files which had the mind of a German scientist, Zola. He..."

Steve spoke quietly and haltingly, picking up speed at certain parts and pausing for long intervals at others. Wanda didn't make a sound throughout the whole thing. The silence gave Steve a strength to hear his own words out loud.

When he finished speaking, Steve resolutely stared at his own hands, biting his cheeks. For a few minutes, Wanda didn't say anything, absorbing everything he said. Then she let out a breath and shook her head sadly.

“You’re making this about Tony or Bucky,” Wanda said softly as she walked forward to sit beside Steve. There was a palm’s distance between them and Wanda looked at her hands as she continued. “You’re making this situation about two people, Steve. It’s much larger than that.”

Steve stayed silent and tilted his head to look at his youngest friend with a questioning glance.

“When I first learnt about you, I was 11. There were comics, movies, you know the inspirational band wagon,” she laughed teasingly and Steve shook his head with a small smile. Wanda looked up at the ceiling and recollected a time she had last seen in red. “Me and Pietro, we had different reasons to read them and watch them. He loved the idea of someone being invincible. I guess, it came with being the elder son in a family where your father never stops stressing about protecting the family.”

She paused and took a breath.

“Me, I didn’t have such fantasies. I read you because of who you represented,” she said with a reminiscent smile, “At our street, I was the smallest of the lot, the one who stood behind her brother if a boy laughed at her. I hated doing that, hiding and taking somebody’s protection. But I was small and I didn’t like getting beat up, so I took to Pietro’s back. When I read your comics, at first, I saw a big man with the strength of a mammoth and a mission to save the world. They drew your eyes kind, I remember, and I liked that. So I saved enough every time to be able to borrow a book from the kids up the street who loaned them at a price.”

“It took me three books to reach your story before you became..this. Before your title,” she continued, “To a young kid, who idolized a buff, strong man who could lift up motorcycles with people on them, it should have come as a bitter shock; seeing you being spoken about as a scrawny young kid. Pietro stopped reading sometime then, I think. But I kept going, because finally, after three books, I seemed to have found something in you that was better than your kind eyes.”

“I saw me in you,” she said and looked at him, “I saw someone who knew bullies and what they meant in this world. Your character in those books spoke about fighting bullies and standing up for those who couldn’t do it themselves.”

“Wanda, what are you –“

“Tony was a bully when you fought him,” Wanda said quietly, looking at Steve without shying away, “In that dungeon, when you were protecting Bucky, you didn’t see him as the Winter Soldier. You saw him as Bucky. Tony saw him as the Winter Soldier. You stepped in, Steve, because in that moment, you saw one person who was fueled by blind rage and hurt, with limitless power and another whom you knew to be weaker by self-fear, guilt and weakness in general. You saw a bully and an innocent. You chose to intervene because that is who you are. You have always stood up against bullies, no matter when, where or why.”

“Tony was hurt, Wanda,” Steve said in a soft voice, “You can’t blame him for everything.”

“I am not blaming him for everything, Steve. I’m also not saying this because I think he was wrong to get angry,” Wanda said before taking another small breath, “I’m saying this because I know what it is like to be who he was in that moment. I have been there.”

“You’re not a bully, Wanda,” Steve said with a frown but she simply smiled and shook her head.

“It’s very easy to be naïve and believe that, especially when you feel protective of a person,” she said softly, “You, Clint, Vision, you see me as someone who needs protection at all times. I’ll admit, it is nice to have that. Everybody needs someone in their corner and I am lucky to have you all. But I cannot deny the truth.”

“During Ultron’s disaster,” Wanda’s voice faltered a bit but she cleared her throat and continued, “before Ultron even, I was a woman with one mission. My mission stemmed from my anger, my rage at having lost my parents. I could see nothing else but revenge. And it was all targeted at Tony.”

Wanda paused and looked at her hands, gathering her thoughts before she continued.

“When I was in my home, the day that shell exploded, for the two days after the first explosion Pietro and I kept watching our parents’ dead bodies,” she breathed, “Every time we thought we had forgotten it, our eyes would inadvertently go back to their open and vacant ones. If we didn’t watch them, we would have to watch the empty Stark shell lying four feet away from us.”

“We chose to watch that shell after a while.”

Wanda turned to look at Steve and held his troubled gaze with her own.

“When Tony watched that video of his parents dying, he had two options,” she explained quietly, “He could either concentrate on the dead eyes, limp bodies or the weapon that caused that. He chose what I chose too.”

“It’s very easy to be angry at a weapon,” she said with a bitter smile, “Who knows that better than me? In my situation, the weapon was a Stark shell and I chose to destroy the man behind it. In Tony’s case, the weapon was the Winter Soldier and he chose to try to destroy the man behind that name – Bucky.”

“But Bucky was innocent,” Steve commented, getting a grasp of what she was saying.

“As was Tony, in my case,” Wanda admitted with a sad shake of her head, “He was just the gun, not the hand holding it or firing it. It’s easy being mad at guns, Steve. With guns, you don’t feel like a bully. You feel justified, you feel right destroying it. If you see the gun as a person, you start having doubts. But however you see it, anger at a weapon and directing it at a person makes you a bully.”

“I spent years stewing in my anger at that Stark shell, which made me see the shell as Stark himself,” she said with a sigh, “That anger, my anger, lead to the fall of my country, my people and my only remaining family.”

“What do you think Tony’s anger would have led to, if you hadn’t intervened?”

Steve swallowed the choking in his throat and blinked at the ground.

“I can empathize with Tony, however strange and unnatural that sounds, “Wanda continued, not looking at Steve as he tried to stabilize his emotions, “But I also know what it would have led to, that anger. Anger, when uncontrolled and devoid of rational, makes the kindest of hearts hard and the brightest of minds bullies. I know this, Steve, because I was one too. You stopped me, you and the other Avengers, you made me see the error of my ways. And for that I tried to seek peace. But before you could stop me, I had already made my mistakes. And I pay for them even today, in every moment of my existence. Imagine what Tony would have had to pay if you hadn’t stopped him.”

“I don’t regret saving Bucky,” Steve said after a while, “He is the only part of me that is above this fame, fear and fight. I failed him once. I know, I know that it doesn’t sound logical, but in my heart and mind, there is no other explanation for it. He is innocent, Wanda. He did nothing other than follow me into the mouth of doom. I asked him to come along and he did. He followed me, Steve, not Captain America. For seventy years, he has been suffering through actions that he had fought against. His name, his hands, and his eyes caused terror in the minds of people he would have protected with his life at a point. His existence was lost, he lost his soul because of me. For me. And yet, even today, he doesn’t hesitate to follow me. To stand beside me if I ask. Who does that, Wanda? Who gives up everything for a friend, for someone who got fame, friends, family, a new chance at life even as you rotted in your own mind? He didn’t lay his life on the line for me, he put his soul and mind. When I look at him today, still trying to hide his hurt, still trying to fight back his ghosts alone, I don’t know what to say. He got into a cryo-space, something that has haunted him for decades, just because he feels I am ruining my present for him. He says he isn’t worth it. What can you do to ever repay such a friend, Wanda? How could I have not saved him from Tony’s anger? How could I have told Tony the truth when even Bucky blamed every death on himself?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong by protecting Bucky, Steve,” Wanda commented gently, lightly placing her hand on Steve’s clenched knuckles, “You aren’t bad because you chose a friend. But Tony cannot understand that right now. He’s finding solace right now, at a time when he’s close to breaking, by hating you and Bucky. He’s looking at the weapon, Steve, because he can’t look at the bodies.”

“I wish I could do something to help him,” Steve sighed brokenly, “I wish I knew how I could make things better.”

Wanda smiled sadly at her friend and stroked his white knuckles gently.

“Sometimes there are no words that can fill a silence,” she said simply, with a small shake of her head, “You cannot fix everything, the way you cannot save everyone. You simply have to let him choose what he wants to do with what he has.”

“What if I’ve ruined the story for him?” Steve asked softly, “What if I’ve broken his concept of trust completely? What if I am the villain of his story?”

“Every hero is a villain in somebody’s eyes,” Wanda quipped seriously and Steve raised an eyebrow at her, “You cannot be the hero of every story for every person, Steve. For every person you save, there is someone you cannot.”

“How did you forgive Tony?” Steve asked after a minute of silence.

Wanda thought about it for a couple of beats.

“In a way, I think I didn’t,” she said on a thought, “I think as time passed, as I saw him and his life, his choices, his friends and their trust in him, I started to build a new image. You can paint a picture of a person from any angle, Steve, but not all pictures will be the same. Even though the person is one. I think I started seeing more angles of him that were positive, that were helpful to people, that were vulnerable and yet strong; I saw him as a person over time, instead of just a shell of a man. There was no precise moment I decided to forgive him, I don’t think that’s possible. There were a collection of moments when I decided to understand him better. That maybe weighed higher than my anger.”

“You don’t always have to forgive people, Steve. You simply have to learn to forgive the circumstances.”

Steve stayed silent and watched as Natasha interacted with Bucky across the glass pane, head bowed and body calm. He wondered when Wanda had grown up this wise.

Then he remembered that she had probably never been a child.

As he watched his best friend from across a glass wall, Steve felt a sliver of peace penetrate his wall of hurt and confusion. He only hoped that Tony could feel it someday too.

\---------------

**Precap for next chapter:**

“Sure, get on the whine wagon,” Clint shrugged dangerously and Steve saw Vision shift slightly on the couch, looking between the archer and Rhodey carefully, “Bring up the excuses Rhodes, get ‘em all out. Because I’m sure you have a valid excuse for putting someone who was not so long ago _your teammate_ , a girl who got blamed for trying to save people, in a fucking straightjacket. You’ve got excuses for that too, right?”

“You wouldn’t have _been_ in the position if you had _listened_ to us about the Accords!” Rhodey hissed and got up, spurring Clint to mirror his position, “and you really wanna start listing out how sad your lives got in the few days you spent sitting in a cell, with all of your abilities intact? Sure, let’s start whining about how unfair life is when you get the consequences of your actions to the guy who got the consequence that weren’t supposed to happen. Yes, Barton, please, go ahead and tell me how miserable your few days were in prison before you got broken out by the guy who left you there in the first place.”

“Rhodes, stop,” Tony murmured as he saw Wanda’s eyes stare at him, knowing that Rhodey didn’t see how they had been kept in the prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh, this was boring. It's more of an emotional filler I guess. I'll write better and be a little more active for the next chapter. Till then, please send me your feedback? <3  
> P.S: No, Steve is not off the hook.  
> No, things will not calm down.  
> No, it's not a smooth ride.  
> Yes, there will be explosions and heavy angst.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a really bad mood when I wrote this so it might be a little lacking. The missing points from the leap and meeting will be filled in the next chapters.

Peter didn't know why people thought Tony Stark was a genius until he had gotten hands on the first Stark gadget. He hadn't known why people called him a hero until he had met him. 

He had also not known why people called him a maniac till he had sat on a stealth jet en route to a place he didn't know of, with a bunch of people he had only met in a strange airport fight and Dr. Bruce Banner himself. It of course didn't help that half of the people he was sitting with had gotten then ass kicked by him and were probably looking to return the favor now.

"Is there any reason Mr. Stark isn't coming with us?" he asked Rhodey, who was casually flipping through a document he had borrowed from Dr. Banner. Rhodes didn't raise his head or look at him, but his lips quirked up a bit on the side.

"You still call him 'Mr. Stark'?" he asked and shot him an amused look for a second, "He hasn't given you his charming 'Please call me Tony and I'll call you my minion' speech yet?"

Maybe this was a test, Peter thought absently, maybe this was all some psychological test to know if he would be loyal to Mr. Stark even when he wasn't here.

"It's not a test kid," Sam called out from across the jet, checking his strangely close drone. Sam looked up from the drone and rolled his eyes at Peter, "Yes, we can read minds."

Peter stilled for a minute before he heard Rhodes snort and realized that Sam was joking. He let out a nervous laugh and turned to his left to see the Colonel regarding him with a curious look.

"You're not going to kill me, are you?" he asked cautiously, just to be sure. Rhodes raised an eyebrow and shrugged before going back to his document.

"I don't kill spiders," he said coolly, "Promised a female spider once."

Peter wondered if he would maim him for laughter and gave him an awkward thumbs up. Sam shook his head from across, near Vision and muttered under his breath.

"Geez, Tony sure catches them young."

"I heard that, and thank you?" Peter said, doubt lacing the last word before addressing Rhodes again, "So?"

"So what?"

"Is there a reason? For Mr. Stark not coming with us?"

"He's got a thing," Rhodey said mysteriously and Peter frowned under his mask.

"A thing more important than meeting Captain America, who Mr. Stark now says didn't make the wrong decision after all?"

"He has a thing with the Secretary of State," Rhodes elaborated but exchanged a significant look with Sam at the Captain America comment, "Did he tell you why you were coming with us or did he just pick you up from home and stick you in this jet?"

"Erm...he said something about this being an actual mission to stop people threatening the planet and that I don't have to worry about being squished under a truck or swatted by a giant this time," Peter shrugged, "And that if I came he'd make me an honorary member of his Science Bros."

"He did?" a voice came from the mini-workstation on the jet and Peter looked up to see Bruce looking at him with a surprised expression.

"Uh, he said something about being a Science-ling, but also said that it was an honorary position in the Science Bros," Peter replied, honestly freaked out by his own words but they seemed to make sense in this crowd.

"Huh" Bruce commented before going back to his work. The silence was awkward for some time and Peter really didn't want to ask anything more to Rhodes because he didn't look like a person who liked being disturbed much.

Bruce knew why Peter was here. Yes, he knew who the person underneath the Spiderman suit was, because apparently Tony had decided that Bruce was going to be his back up hard-disk. He was the only one who knew all the names as well. That conversation had been awkward as hell, Bruce remembered with an internal sigh. He had tried to get Tony to confide in Rhodes or Sam or even Vision instead. 

The look Tony gave him when he suggested Vision had made Bruce sigh tiredly. This whole caution thing between his teammates was really starting to give him a migraine. He knew even as Tony evaded the question that Tony would rather put his own life at risk than let Rhodey be in the line of fire again. Bruce should have been offended at the logical conclusion that  _he_  was being placed in the line of fire himself, but both he and Tony knew that the Other Guy couldn't be compromised.

Well, not until somebody used mind-control, Bruce thought to himself wryly and glanced at the detector in front of him again.  _This_  was the reason they were all going to regroup with Steve and Natasha, along with whoever they had gathered in support. Bruce looked over to Peter once more, wondering why Tony thought that he was going to be necessary in an  _alien_  war. He had seen Tony being protective of the boy when they had been boarding the jet. The look in Tony's eyes when Spiderman had casually told him not to wait up was something Bruce had seen in dads dropping their kids off at school. 

It was also the look Bruce had seen on Steve's face many times before, when one of the non-powered Avengers attempted to take down a powered enemy. Bruce didn't know how Steve would be now, after all that had happened. 

"We're there," Friday's voice rang out and Rhodey looked up at Bruce, "Avengers, be ready to land."

"Wait, so I'm an Avenger now?" Peter asked in a squeaky voice and everybody ignored him till the jet landed.

"You have a gimmick, you get to play," Sam replied as he clapped Peter on the shoulder before getting out of the jet. Bruce watched as the kid stood stunned for a minute before rushing out to join the others. 

The last one to leave the jet, Bruce took a deep breath and took the Skrull detector & homing kit with him. This was definitely not going to be fun, the doctor thought to himself when the first face he saw out of the jet was of an archer who looked pissy.

\-------------

Tony was never a guy who wanted to rip his hair out. He loved his hair. He loved being in control. It was just that the last few years seemed to be draining out every bit of that control from him.

“Look, sir,” he tried again, drawing up every bit of smarmy confidence and sincere mask possible, “Wakanda is a country that’s on our ally list. Antagonizing them so blatantly is going to do nothing but put us on a war-path. And honestly, with their resources and tech, they look good on the winning side.”

Thaddeus Ross was the cockiest, most ruthless and most manipulative son-of-a-bitch Tony knew, and Tony knew a lot of them so this was saying something. Well, maybe if Obadiah was alive, he would have taken that title but for now, it was Ross. Tony had tried every bit of cunning possible for a week, to keep the information of Bruce & Sam being in the Compound. When Friday had filled in on Ross’ trackers and aerial support touted to be positioned in a couple of days, he had understood that they needed to leave immediately.

Getting Sam to agree was easy. Getting Bruce to agree was tough as hell, especially with his deep mistrust of Ross and unease over the Accords’ bounds over Tony. Finally, Tony had decided to make _everyone_ leave, including Vision and Rhodes, so that there would be some back-up in case of some trouble. Vision would be coming back after ensuring that the rest had reached the safehouse properly and Rhodes had been given a convenient order by Dr. Andrew, his designated psychiatrist, to take a vacation to ‘divert his mind’.

Tony would always be surprised at how many people still trusted the Avengers, even after all their mess ups.

The Skrull trackers were ready and Bruce had taken them with him. With any luck, the tracker would help them out, using the DNA of the Skrull T’Challa had caught. When Tony had heard about it, the alien wearing Reed Richards’ face and body, he had almost freaked out with the possible consequences if they hadn’t realized at the right time. Richards was a mad scientist who dealt with space and things Tony never messed with.

In fact, Tony had a feeling that this whole situation had its source somewhere in Richards’ story.

Anyway, now that they had a lead and the tech to use it, Tony had come back to Ross to try and keep him placated, especially when Ross seemed to be under the impression that Wakanda was harbouring the fugitive Avengers.

“Stark, this is the UN’s order,” Ross replied in a patronizing voice that Tony wanted to slash off, “Wakanda has shown to have the heat signature and facial match of Wanda Maximoff, which leads us to believe that the others are hiding with her too. Now, we need to know any information you can gather on this. You handle the tech, we’ll take care of Wakanda.”

Tony wished Thor was here. Thor was good at intimidating people with his royal stature, right? Or even Nick Fury would do. Tony was losing all favour and goodwill in Ross’ book and he knew it. One more suspicious strike and the man wouldn’t hesitate to put Tony on the line.

When he came out of the meeting an hour later, he felt bone-tired. He had sufficiently convinced Ross to talk to T’Challa first, bringing up points of T’Challa having won their trust by handling the whole airport scenario better than him. That was really painful to get out of his mouth, Tony reflected absently as he got onto his chopper, waving at Rosss flippantly. He knew that T’Challa would handle the situation well, despite his inherent dislike of Ross. 

When he slipped out in his stealth suit mid-way, he pulled up Friday and checked in.

“Bring up Rhodey,” he said and waited as the HUD showed a dialling display.

“Tony?” the voice came over the secure line and Tony let out a soft relieved breath.

“Yeah, I’m on my way. All good in La-La Land?”

“Yeah, we’re all here,” Rhodey replied before pausing and stressing again, “Everyone’s here.”

Tony blinked at that and frowned.

“Clint and the giant guy too?”

“And their families,” Rhodey’s answer came drier than the Sahara and Tony almost lost his focus of the flight.

“Uh…okay then. Seems like we’re holding a big family reunion,” Tony commented wryly and heard Rhodey’s tired sigh, “Yeah, yeah, I know. Just hold the fort till I get there, okay? And tell Bruce to start up the tracking. We need to get this done faster than we thought.”

“Did Ross say –“

“It’s fine Rhodey,” Tony cut him short quietly, “It’s all fine. Just hold on. I’m coming in hot.”

Rhodey hardly believed Tony when he used the word ‘fine’ but he held his silence anyway. Cutting the call, he shrugged at Natasha who was watching him quietly from across the room.

There was nothing they could do until Tony decided to tell them anything.

\----------------

Tony heard the voices even as he entered the sad looking safehouse, courtesy Natasha’s sources. He recognized the voices immediately, there was no mistaking the sarcasm and sass of the two people.

When he came through the corridor and entered the living room, he was proven right when he saw Rhodes and Clint clearly fighting.

“Really? You’re going to give us crap about something you knew would happen?” Rhodey questioned irritated, “cause I clearly remember you being a SHIELD agent before you became an Avenger, Barton. Are you really telling me that you didn’t know how wars end?”

“We were not criminals, Rhodes,” Clint sneered, eyes like flint, “We were trying to stop a disaster. I don’t remember that being a reason to throwing people into prisons!”

“Is that why you thought fighting us was a better option than just, I don’t know, _working with us_ to get Zemo?” Rhodey shot back sarcastically, “Was that part of your disaster management?”

Natasha who was sitting behind Clint’s sofa caught Tony’s figure first and silently shook her head, telling him that nothing was going right. Tony looked around and saw Steve standing in the doorway of the kitchen, silently observing the chaos. When Steve’s eyes met Tony, the genius raised an eyebrow but Steve simply breathed out and went back to observing the fight.

“Oh, spare me the idiocy!” Clint scoffed, clicking his heel against the floor, “Stop trying to act all high and mighty when even you know that you wouldn’t have trusted us. What were we going to do, sit and give you a presentation with graphics to prove ourselves? It was a time-sensitive intervention and why am I even justifying myself to you?!”

“Yeah, Barton, why would you justify coming back from your ‘retirement’ to basically feed your boredom with an unnecessary war?” Rhodey snarked back and Tony saw Wanda shift from her place, ready to intervene if things got ugly, “You chose to get into this mess, when you weren’t even there when we tried discussing the Accords.”

“Sure, get on the whine wagon,” Clint shrugged dangerously and Steve saw Vision shift slightly on the couch, looking between the archer and Rhodey carefully, “Bring up the excuses Rhodes, get ‘em all out. Because I’m sure you have a valid excuse for putting someone who was not so long ago _your teammate_ , a girl who got blamed for trying to save people, in a fucking straightjacket. You’ve got excuses for that too, right?”

“You wouldn’t have _been_ in the position if you had _listened_ to us about the Accords!” Rhodey hissed and got up, spurring Clint to mirror his position, “and you really wanna start listing out how sad your lives got in the few days you spent sitting in a cell, with all of your abilities intact? Sure, let’s start whining about how unfair life is when you get the consequences of your actions to the guy who got the consequence that weren’t supposed to happen. Yes, Barton, please, go ahead and tell me how miserable your few days were in prison before you got broken out by the guy who left you there in the first place.”

“Rhodes, stop,” Tony murmured as he saw Wanda’s eyes stare at him, knowing that Rhodey didn’t see how they had been kept in the prison.

Rhodey turned his head and stared incredulously at his best friend.

“Really? You’re gonna shut up and put up?” he demanded and Tony tried for an easy smirk that came out more as a wince.

“No, but we’ve got bigger fish to fry. Let’s focus on the problem at hand, shall we?” Tony diverted his attention before turning to search for Bruce, “Where’s Bruce? And …Spiderman? Any news on the Skrull detection yet?”

“They’re in the workshop,” Steve replied and Tony nodded once jerkily without looking at the guy before looking at Natasha who gestured the right direction.

Clint watched Tony go quietly, not meeting anybody else’s eyes and felt his irritation spike again. Would it be too much to expect an apology for all the shit they’d gone through?

“Man, and to think that I was feeling guilty about the things I said in super max,” Clint shook his head, still watching Tony’s retreating figure, “I’m telling you Cap, you don’t watch your back around him this time and he’ll definitely break it.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Clint saw Rhodes still and rise, making him want to clarify things but before he could say anything, there was somebody else coming in between Rhodes and Clint.

“Rhodes, stand down, don’t,” Sam said calmly, staring at Rhodey fearlessly yet soothing in demeanor, “It’s not worth it, not now. Tony’s right, we’ve got bigger fish to fry right now.”

Rhodey shifted his glare at Sam for a minute and seemed to calm down a bit but then stalked off outside furiously with a final dagger-glare at Clint. The archer didn’t mean it in the sense he knew Rhodey was taking it as but somehow the apology never made it out of his mouth.

Sam turned to face Clint and it was for the first time that Clint had ever seen Sam furious. He had seen him angry, frustrated and even disgusted but this cold rage, this thunderous look had never appeared on Sam’s face. Not even when they had faced Hydra lackies.

“Sam, I didn’t mean to – ‘’

“I didn’t tell you this when we were in the prison,” Sam overtook the conversation quietly, his voice low and restrained but with an undercurrent of steel in it, “because you were just as pissed as the rest of us. You were stressed, you felt betrayed and you were right, we didn’t deserve to be held in like that. But what you just said, what you said that day Clint, that is not something decent people say in that kind of a situation.”

“Sam, what’s going on?” Steve asked cautiously, wondering what had riled him up so much. He knew that Clint was snark incarnated and that he could bite with words easily but he didn’t understand what Sam was indicating at.

Sam ignored Steve in that moment and continued to stare at Clint, who was starting to look uncomfortable.

“You probably don’t get it, why it should matter so much,” Sam commented in his calm voice that sometimes conveyed anger far better than any yelling, “but that’s because you’ve not been there. I have. I lost my best friend, my partner in the team, while we were trying to do our job. I could do nothing, absolutely nothing, as he fell right in front of me. When you fly as partners, you’ve got each other’s back. I didn’t have his that day, not when it mattered the most. It’s been years since that day but even today, if you make a jab at me about that, if you even suggest something wrong about that, I will break your face.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, Sam,” Clint said defensively, even as he felt Natasha’s steady stare on his face, “I meant it about us. He didn’t have our backs, not when he should have trusted us.”

“It doesn’t matter what you **meant** , Clint, it matters what you **said** and **when** you said it,” Sam replied and Natasha frowned, putting two and two together to get a clear picture of what Clint could have said, “God, Clint! Man, you knew that Rhodey was hit that day and you made a jab about Tony breaking people’s backs. **Anybody** would take it the way Rhodey just did. You didn’t see him, you didn’t see him when Rhodes fell and you don’t know what it must be like for both of them. So if you can’t say something good, avoid making such stupid statements that are definitely gonna go wrong, will you?”

Clint opened his mouth but then shut it and looked around at everybody, who were staring back at him. He looked at Steve who looked disappointed to say the least and felt something churn in his stomach. He looked at Natasha who must look impassive to everyone else but Clint could clearly see the concern and pity in her eyes. He felt something hot itch under his skin at the silence of the room and turned on his feet, leaving the room before anybody could stop him. Nobody did anyway.

“I should go talk to Rhodes,” Steve said after a minute and Natasha frowned at him.

“He doesn’t need sympathy right now, Steve,” she warned but Steve shook his head.

“I haven’t spoken to him properly ever since…he’s also part of the team, Natasha. The least I should do is talk to him,” Steve explained, not knowing how he would convince her. Natasha though simply sighed and nodded, knowing that Rhodey would tell Steve to shove off if he wanted to.

Sam, Wanda, Natasha and Vision watched as Steve went in the direction Rhodey had gone.

“We’re never going to get back to what we had, are we?” Natasha mused quietly and heard rather than saw Sam breathe out before sitting on the seat next to her.

“I don’t know, Tasha. I really don’t know.”

\-----------

Bruce took one look at Tony’s face and immediately got the hint that something was up. He looked back at his screen before calling Peter out.

“Hey, Spidey,” he commented getting a distracted hum as reply, “There’s something in the jet I forgot. There’ll be a blueprint of the detector in the storage above Rhodey’s seat. Can you go get that? I’ll keep the readings steady here meanwhile.”

Peter looked up and saw Tony standing at the door before turning to look at Bruce, who simply gestured towards the door again. For someone who was awkward in front of his heroes, Peter was certainly not stupid enough to not pick up hints from the heroes themselves. He simply nodded and walked around Tony, giving him a casual salute he hoped looked cool.

“Kid wants to impress you,” Bruce commented off-handedly as he concentrated on stabilizing the readings from the blood sample of the recovered Skrull.

“Well, he sewed his own costume with binocular eyes. Not all that hard to impress him,” Tony shrugged casually but his eyes were roaming over the equipment in the makeshift lab, “Wait, is that a modified electro-“

“So, you met them all,” Bruce cut Tony short before he could divert both their attentions from the problem he was clearly worried about. Tony shot him an irritated look but Bruce simply raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“And you’ve met Natasha,” Tony shot back with a pathetic attempt at smirking. Bruce kept his face deadpanned and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Worth a shot,” the genius shrugged and moved around Bruce, not-so-gently poking him on the shoulder as he walked, “And yes, in answer to your astute observation, I have met them all. The humans, I mean, because clearly the alien seems to be decimated by our Royal claws. Think there was any chance T’Challa knew that he could rip aliens into literal shreds? I mean, that’s pretty much a slasher movie 24x7 if he does.”

“King T’Challa was gracious enough to help, despite the fact that somebody is threatening to attack his kingdom,” Bruce replied quietly and instinctively put out a hand to catch whatever berry Tony had in hand to throw. Tony always ate something or the other when he was in a lab with Bruce. When they had been in the Tower, he had once told the doctor that it was one way of ensuring that Bruce ate something that wasn’t heartburn inducing spicy Indian or totally bland tasteless junk. Bruce preferred to call it a coping mechanism for whenever Tony felt nervous or stressed. Keeping his mouth occupied gave him more time to think, because otherwise silence was a burden on Tony.

“Where did you find blueberries between all this?”

“There is no excuse for not finding berries, you heathen,” Tony mocked and Bruce shrugged, popping the berry into his mouth and giving Tony a pointed look to elaborate on the actual problem.

“You’re not that kind of doctor and you’ll sleep,” Tony warned making Bruce scoff lightly.

“I’m not the one with the sleeping problem right now and I am not that kind of doctor,” Bruce said calmly, pausing to fiddle with the data on the holograph, “But, since we’re going to be fighting aliens who might look like us, which isn’t weird at all, and you’re a piping hot mess, slightly more than me, why don’t we get straight to the point? Just tell me what the current problem is, not the entire novel.”

“Wanda was in a straightjacket,” Tony blurted out and paused, making Bruce look up and frown. He didn’t push Tony though and went back to his work, not interrupting when Tony took over Peter’s spot and work.

“The Raft…” Tony began again, voice more sober than Bruce had heard during the Ultron’s fiasco, “It was meant for criminals. Actual criminals, the ones like Loki and Red Skull and people who the government would like to shoot in public if possible? The maniacs. I have no idea who they thought they were going to get but…it wasn’t meant for the Avengers.”

“You know Ross,” Bruce replied quietly, breathing in deeply to calm himself from the memories, “He likes a statement.”

“Yeah but, that wasn’t a statement,” Tony shook his head and frowned at the data, in an attempt to not look at Bruce, “It wasn’t meant to hold them and gloat. It was more likely to break them. Soul crushing kind of breaking. Jesus, Bruce they had Wanda in a fucking straightjacket with a _collar_. Like she was crazy and not just someone who had tried to – It was the worst thing you could do to a team of people you have treated as heroes.”

“Hmmm” Bruce hummed and Tony finally looked up with incredulous eyes.

“ _Hmmm_? That’s what you’ve got?”

“You’ve not come to the point yet.”

“The point? The Raft IS the point! What’s more to say?!”

Bruce sighed and looked to his left, watching a scowling Tony stare at him. The doctor removed his glasses and placed them on the table near him.

“Look Tony, I appreciate a good background information on any problem but if you’re going to make me drag this out, then we should do this some other time. We’re hiding from a government looking for all of us, we’ve practically kidnapped and enslaved a kid with a bad case of hero-worship, we have aliens roaming around impersonating heroes and the team is clearly not fit to fight together. We’re doomed as it is but maybe we can scrape though with minimal damage if we focus on the important things. Now, is your problem coming anytime soon or is it not important at this point?”

“You’ve been taking lessons from Rhodey, haven’t you?”

“Tony, I swear to –“

“I might have outed Clint,” Tony confessed and saw Bruce snap his mouth shut, “Well, not in the closet sense because I don’t know anything about him to even think on that –“

“Tony,” Bruce cleared his throat softly and Tony nodded, redirecting his rambling to the point.

“I’m not saying that I’m the reason Clint and his family along with Lang and his kid are here,” Tony continued absently, fingers tapping lightly on the table in front of him, “They chose to get into the Accords mess. Sure, they weren’t there for the Accords, or were they? I don’t even know anymore. But Ca- _Rogers_ called them in and they came. So of course, we had to fight and the asshole Barton, goddamn him Bruce, what was he even thinking? He retired, didn’t he? I was there, I saw him say it! So why the hell did he come back?!”

“You tapped out too, why did you get into this mess?” Bruce asked coolly, not giving ground when Tony glared at him.

“You know goddamned well why,” Tony huffed and seemed to deflate for a minute before rubbing his forehead tiredly, “In the Raft, when I went to confirm about the-when I went to meet them, Clint and I, well we had words. It was stupid and we were both pissed and you know how it gets when people like us get mouthy. The thing is, I asked him why he joined and mentioned his family there. That’s the reason Laura and the kids are –“

“Did you mention Lang’s daughter?” Bruce asked before Tony could complete his self-depreciating thoughts.

“No?”

“Then how would they be behind her?”

“Bruce, you’re not stupid. Don’t insult your intelligence by trying,” Tony rolled his eyes, “This isn’t a case of elimination of possibilities. It’s just a big red beacon of chance. I’m not saying that I was definitely the one, I’m just saying that I might have been the one.”

“Okay. And your point is?”

“He doesn’t trust me,” Tony said simply with a tad too casual shrug that had tension written all over it, “And we’re supposed to be fighting together now? I mean, how is that even going to work?”

“Do you want to apologize?”

“Do I want to **apologize**?”

“You repeating my question is not an answer, Tony”

“The sheer incredulity of my repetition should be the answer, Banner”

“He’s not going to make the first move here. He’s too messed right now, and saying that to you is something.” Bruce ignored Tony’s jibe and went back to work, “He’s got things going on with Laura as it is.”

Tony frowned at that and tilted his head at Bruce.

“What things?”

“Ask him yourself,” Bruce answered with a one-shoulder shrug, “Or just stop dwelling in the past for the moment? Maybe ask Natasha.”

Tony opened his mouth and shut it back, staring at Bruce, when Peter came back in.

“Hey Dr. Banner, here you go – uh, Mr. Stark? Is..everything okay?”

Tony snapped out of his shock and looked at Peter before walking out of the lab.

Bruce heard him mutter “Ask Natasha. Ha!” to himself and grinned to himself, knowing that his idiot genius friend would end up doing that only. Hinting Tony to a problem was like teasing a kid to the keys of Candyland.

Bruce had noticed the tension between Clint and Laura as soon as they had met. He had also noticed the residual tension between Clint and Natasha too. Now that he got an idea of how things were between Tony and Clint, he knew that things would end in a mess if they let it continue.

He only hoped that Tony’s reputed untamed and indecent curiosity would pull through this time.

\-----------

In the end Tony didn’t get time to go meet Clint because Bruce called him and Steve in to inform that they had gathered enough data on the Skrull technology and working to spread out trackers.

“So we go around scanning each person on your list for a similar DNA composition?” Steve asked dubiously and Tony shot him the hardest stink-eye he had.

“Yes, let’s go around playing TSA to every superhero in the country. Cause that will be fun,” he said caustically and looked at Bruce, “You’ve got the list, let me punch in a few algorithms and we’ll do a wide scan for the match.”

“Yeah, and I could help with the homing bugs,” Peter chimed in excitedly and Steve frowned at Tony.

“Homing bugs?”

“We’re set against people-creatures that can morph themselves into us,” Bruce explained when he saw that Tony would rather eat the bugs than explain to Steve, “Tony saw it safe to have homing bugs on us, just in case the play turns and we have to…well, we have to identify our own.”

“That’s smart,” Steve comments casually, like he had always done in the past and suddenly Tony gets up jerkily, scraping the chair against the floor.

“I’m sorry Bruce, got something I forgot, carry on, I’ll-I’ll get the details from Spidey here,” he muttered with a clenched jaw and marched out of the room before anybody could stop him.

The room fell silent for a couple of minutes till Peter cleared his throat and looked at Bruce from under his mask.

“Should I go search for another blueprint now?” he asked hesitantly and Bruce is reminded again of how _young_ this kid is. He wants to say no but he can see that Peter is clearly uncomfortable with Steve in the same room right now, so he nods and he watches as the red-webbed kid rushes out faster than any teenager he has seen.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says quietly and Bruce raises an eyebrow at him, wanting to ask a million questions but instead watching as the greatest legend of America looked weary and lonely, his ramrod straight back almost vibrating with tension.

Bruce knows that he wouldn’t have sided with Tony if he had been here for the Accords but this isn’t the past. And even from what little he knows, he can see that the sudden manifestation of Steve’s perfectly human selfishness had rattled the team. Rattled Tony. As a friend to Tony, he wanted to know more. As a friend to Steve, he wished he knew less. But as a person who had denied himself any happiness for as long as he could remember, he understood Steve Rogers in his loneliness. Even if he didn’t know if he could forget it.

“So, homing bugs,” Bruce replied instead of acknowledging Steve’s apology, because it wasn’t something he needed. And Steve needed to get the guts to give it to those who actually deserved it.

They didn’t speak about the Accords, Sokovia or Tony. Bruce didn’t give an opening, even if he knew that Steve would grab one if he could. In the end, Steve got the hint and stuck to the mission. It was like New York, before they became a team.

It didn’t feel right but they hadn’t started killing each other yet. So that might be fine in the current scenario.

\---------------

**Precap:**

“Clint, get your six!”

“Watch your own back!”

“Clint, goddam –“

Clint switched his line off and shot a shower of arrow, getting the Skrull Thor right in the chest. He didn’t bother turning around and helping his ‘partner’ in this spot till he got all Skrulls off in front of him. When he finally got the last one, he dragged a tired hand over his face and wiped the slime off his forehead.

“Okay, here’s the deal that –Iron Man?” Clint switched his comm back on but heard nothing but static. He whirled around and searched the sky for a red and gold blur but found nothing.

“Stark?” Clint tried again, tapping at his ear, growing tensed by the second, “Fuck, Tony? Man, this is not funny. Tony, answer me dammit!”

There was radio silence and Clint felt fear crash into him in waves. He remembered Tony’s words from the jet.

_I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. But you can’t blame me for not watching your back if you don’t trust me to watch it in the first place!_

Clint was still mad at Tony but he would never want him to get into any serious trouble because he was pissed with his own problems. That was not what people did in families, he remembered Natasha telling him coldly when she had met him outside the safehouse. Whatever said and done, whatever had passed between them, Tony was still family to Clint. And now he had failed to watch _his_ back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and review? Also, don't worry. I love all my little shits :D


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha breathed in the stale air of damp wood as she stepped into Clint’s room. She knew he wouldn’t be here, not now. It was just like Clint, not being where he should be logically. He wouldn’t stand back when he should, wouldn’t back out when good sense dictated him to or stay put when everything in the world screamed him to do so. Clint was always bad at following rules, especially if he didn’t understand them. Sometimes, it helped, knowing that he wouldn’t give up on you even if he should. Other times, it hurt, knowing that he wouldn’t give up everything else even if he shouldn’t.

“You’re gonna stand there all day or do you have plans of coming in?” a female voice rang from inside the room and Natasha’s eyes found Laura sitting on the bed, little Lila fast asleep beside her. The Russian smiled at her long-known friend and nodded before walking in slowly to sit beside Laura.

“She’s grown a bit since last time,” Natasha whispered, looking fondly at Lila’s peaceful face, “Starting to see your resemblance stronger now.”

“Yes, six months is a lifetime in their world,” Laura replied quietly, smiling softly at her daughter before looking up and considering Natasha, “You’ve grown a bit since last time too.”

“What, prettier?” Natasha snorted softly and Laura chuckled.

“No, wearier,” she quipped and Natasha raised an eyebrow which would have had an effect on other men but not on Laura, who simply continued, “What, you’re telling me you didn’t notice in the mirror?”

“I like my reflection just fine, thank you,” Natasha mock-sniffed and Laura rolled her eyes at the woman she had come to consider a part of her family.

The two women were silent for a while, simply observing the sleeping child beside them. Natasha liked this about Laura, this acceptance of silence. She had long believed that communication didn’t necessarily mean words, touches or actions. Sometimes, the most emphatic thoughts and emotions were shared in silence. Like friendship. Nat and Laura weren’t the kind of friends that Clint and Nat were. They didn’t have a shared life-experience of saving each other’s lives, pulling the other back from stupid decisions, having each other’s back on the battlefield or even sharing the doomed existence of sanity. No, Laura wasn’t Clint. If Clint was Nat’s mast, Laura was the anchor. She wasn’t visible on the surface of Nat’s life, she didn’t share her achievements or direction and she definitely wasn’t blow away by the same winds that Nat was. She was grounding, firm, under the show and uncredited. But without her, neither Clint nor Nat would know the meaning of a family.

She was the older sister who put a blanket over you and your friend when all the fun ends.

“I didn’t want him to get involved, you know?” Natasha said after a brief silence, not looking at Laura and directing her words at a sleeping Lila instead, “That’s why I didn’t call him. I didn’t know that Steve would call him instead.”

“I didn’t either,” Laura replied quietly and Natasha nodded, knowing that Laura would explain if she wanted to. When she didn’t, Nat didn’t pressurise her.

“I’m sorry for not getting him out,” the Russian ex-spy confessed softly, brushing back a few wayward hair off Lila’s forehead, “I guess I thought Tony would do it himself, once he heard Zemo’s truth.”

Laura looked up at that and Nat risked a glance to find an odd expression on her face. After a brief second, she realized that it wasn’t anger. It was disappointment and defeat.

“Laura, we didn’t – Tony and I, we – ”

“If you make a mistake after knowing the consequences, you are deluded in expecting sympathy or understanding,” Laura said quietly and Nat frowned but let her continue, “Yes, it would be nice to receive it, but the chances of getting it are not dependant on you.”

“I don’t understand,” Natasha said, now focusing her entire being on Laura.

“Clint knew what he was getting into when he came to help Steve,” Laura explained, shrugging bitterly, “I’m not blind, Nat, and neither is he. Yes, I know that he was on the right side and that they had to stop Zemo. But he knew the consequences of coming in the way he did.”

“You’re angry with him,” Natasha guessed calmly and Laura huffed a tired laugh.

“Angry was a word I would have used five years back, Nat. Now? Well…maybe disappointed,” Laura shook her head to herself, “Actually, disappointed isn’t right too. That would mean that I didn’t have any idea about this. Tired? Yeah, tired sounds like a better word.”

“You’ve seen worse though, right?” Natasha asked plainly, trying to piece the picture, “Budapest certainly had a worse print.”

Laura remained silent in lieu of answering and stared at her hand that was stroking her daughter’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said after a minute and Natasha relaxed a bit, “I’m glad all of you are okay. I’m just curious though, are we okay?”

“We?”

“Those who didn’t get into the madness with you guys,” Laura shrugged and Natasha felt her spine freeze at the implication, “Cooper’s 13. He’s got football practice on Sundays and he’s part of his school’s Math club. He doesn’t like to miss school because he doesn’t like it when he’s left behind. Lila’s 10 and she has no clue about football, but she likes art. Her and Coop have nothing in common. Well, except for the fact that both of them don’t like to be left behind. Nate is still working on his words, but I’m pretty sure that he’s gonna follow his brother and sister.”

“Are they okay, Natasha?” Laura asked calmly, looking up and meeting the Russian’s eyes head-on, “Because somehow I have a feeling that they’re gonna be left behind all the time. Somehow I feel like that prison is going to be a shadow on their lives too. On our lives. On Cassie Lang’s life. So tell me this, Nat, are we okay?”

Natasha was adept at lying. Ask Tony and he’d tell you so in more eloquent words than she liked. Ask Steve and he would be hesitant. At this moment though, she had no lie willing to fall off her lips. So she took comfort in lowering her eyes and looking at Lila instead, sweet little Lia who would rather ask about acrylic shades and the color of the sky than truths that didn’t hold weight today. Luckily, she was saved from thinking about it for long when they heard footsteps and turned to see Clint himself at the doorstep. The archer stopped and looked at the scene in front of him before raising an eyebrow at Natasha.

The Russian simply smiled at him, all empty and false reassurances, before turning back to Laura and leaning forward to give her a one-armed hug.

“I have one broken family, Laur. I’d really like to not have another,” Natasha whispered into Laura’s ear, knowing that she was playing the guilt card but not dwelling on it in the moment, “I know he’s ridiculous but he loves you and he might listen if you talk. Please, can you-please?”

Laura gently pushed back and gave Natasha an appraising look, with a hint of warning of overstepping the line, but then her eyes softened and she gave a short nod. She had spent the last few weeks keeping it all in, keeping it together in front of her kids and Scott. She looked at Lil and then at Natasha, who was like a sister to her.

“Stay with her,” she muttered to the ex-spy and got up gently.

“Always,” Natasha replied with a soft smile at the young girl and Laura felt a small smile on her own face before she looked up at her husband. She gestured to go outside and followed him, leaving her kid with the woman who had long had their family’s back.

And the woman who seemed to be lost without a family now.

Clint watched as Laura led the way to the small balcony across the floor. It was dusty and unused, the kind that reminded you that there must have been a life here but now it’s buried deep. He didn’t talk as they stood in the cramped space, overlooking a hot day and an empty land across.

“How’s Cassie?” Laura asked after a moment and Clint glanced at her before looking straight ahead, gripping the rusting railing to occupy his hands.

“She’s doing fine. Scott and her are sleeping the fatigue off.”

Laura nodded and crossed her arms, turning slightly to look at her husband’s profile.

“You ever gonna ask why I’m mad?” she asked casually and Clint tilted his head to raise an eyebrow at her.

“If you’re gonna answer in riddles then you know I can’t get them, Laur,” Clint answered with a shrug, turning around and leaning against the railing now, “You’re finally ready to tell me?”

“I am tired of this,” she said simply and Clint stayed silent, steeling himself for what he knew was an outburst stored for long, “I’m tired of the wrong decisions, Clint.”

“You knew that I was going to help Cap, Laur,” Clint replied quietly, “He needed me. I told you that.”

“Yes, you did,” Laura nodded and took a deep breath before meeting Clint’s eyes calmly, “But you didn’t tell me at what cost. And how worthless it would be.”

“Laura –”

“No, Clint, please? Let me just, just get this all out this once?” Laura raised her hand and asked softly. Clint swallowed a feeling of dread at the utter alienation in his wife’s eyes but nodded.

“When you told me that Steve had called, I didn’t say anything because I knew that you wouldn’t stay away,” Laura huffed a soft laugh and shook her head, “You’re used to fighting for what’s right and saving people. I knew that 15 years back too and that…that’s not gonna change. Even though I wished it would tone down when you said you’ve retired.”

Laura paused and tilted her head in a thoughtful manner.

“Steve didn’t need you, Clint,” Laura said bluntly and Clint felt the simply statement raise his hackles but Laura continued, “I know it doesn’t seem like it when you’ve fought, but as someone who’s seen the aftermath from the outside, I’m telling you – he didn’t need you.”

“Wanda was stuck in her own home, like a prisoner,” Clint argued in a low voice.

“And your own family hasn’t been doing that ever since?” Laura asked sharply. Clint bit back a flinch at the accusation.

“That was because of Ross and then Tony didn’t –”

“That was because **you** didn’t think, Clint,” Laura cut him short quietly, her eyes beginning to reflect fire, “Why did Steve call you even after knowing that the Accords would apply to you if you left retirement? Were you guys fighting aliens threatening the world? Mad scientists who were controlling people? Murder-bots? Armies? Evil psychopaths? Who were you fighting, who was so dangerous that Captain America had to call back a guy who was safe, with his family? Tony Stark? Natasha? Vision? Your own friends? Why did he have to involve you in a war against people who hadn’t broken your trust? What was the grave danger, Clint?”

“I owe Wanda my life, Laura! Pietro saved my life. He DIED saving me,” Clint exclaimed quietly and Laura’s eyes flashed.

“So does that mean that you die saving Captain America’s best friend?” she retorted sharply and Clint frowned.

“That wasn’t the point of this fight, Laura. Zemo was,” Clint explained but his wife simply laughed.

“Was it, Clint?” she asked before looking like she was biting back something and shook her head, “I’m not even mad about that, you know. Okay, that would be wrong, I **am** mad about that but not the most. The point I’m mad about the most, Clint, is something different.”

“You didn’t even think there was a choice” Laura said so softly that Clint wouldn’t have heard it if not for the eerie silence in the area. He did though and the first thought to mind at the statement was defense. He had a retort ready, on the tip of his tongue. But something stopped him, something held him back and made him look twice. At his Laura, his best friend and wife. The woman who had always stood beside him. The rock he always knew would guide him home. For the first time, he saw her looking defeated. And that scared him more than any alien attack.

“It was a no-brainer to you,” she continued, unknown to the horror growing in Clint’s heart at the realization that he had not seen this weariness for long, “Cap called, you had to go. You didn’t even think to wonder if you had a chance to say no. There wasn’t any other choice in your eyes. That, Clint, that scares me. Because after so many years, I had finally thought that maybe we’d get a chance to try out family life, without your dead body flashing in front of my eyes every night. I had finally tried to hope for something different and you had no problem dashing it to the ground.”

“You think I wasn’t affected? Honey, I was crushed to leave the kids and you. I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Clint explained, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice.

“Then why Clint? Why did it have to be you?” Laura asked with desperation of her own, trying to make sense of the mess that was their life now, “Why couldn’t they leave you alone? Why couldn’t you stay away, even though you had no clue of what was going on? Why did you have to break your retirement at a time when you **knew** that it would only put us all in trouble? Help me understand, please, because I’m growing mad thinking that our kids are stuck being second to the man who is first in their world. I understood when we came second to work, Clint. But coming second to Captain America? It doesn’t measure up to the same.”

“I love Wanda, Clint. You know I do. But I’m a mother first and I can’t put them both on the balance. Our kids always come first to me, especially when there is a choice. I’m sorry Clint, I love you and I’m glad you’re okay, but I can’t agree with a decision that puts my kids at stake. I can’t agree with you.” Laura confessed and Clint watched her in silence, wondering how they had come to this impasse.

Scott had never proclaimed to be a gentleman, so he hadn’t thought much about the eavesdropping when he had heard Clint and Laura’s voice at first. Now though, as he stood inside, listening to them hurting in the balcony, he began questioning a few things of his own. He might not have a Laura in his life, but he did have a Cassie. Whom he maybe should have put ahead of Captain America.

\-----------------

Rhodey had successfully avoided talking to Steve for two days since their relocation to the new safehouse. He didn’t want to talk to the man. He didn’t want to start another fight, one he knew he would start if he heard Steve apologizing for things that he shouldn’t be apologizing for. He didn’t want anybody’s apologies for his legs. They weren’t a public phenomenon to stare and wonder at. They weren’t a national tragedy where everybody tried to apologise or convey their condolences. His legs weren’t an Avengers tragedy. They were his. Rhodey’s. He didn’t want it to become a spectacle.

If anything, he wanted to talk about the matter people seemed to have forgotten in the aftermath of the fight. Grievances and grief were a part of every fight. As someone who had dealt with more than a few of his own share, Rhodes knew that. What he also knew was the veil behind which the real issue would be hidden. The Accords behind the break-up of the team.

He wished somebody would get up and get down to business about it. He wished the aliens would attack them after they finished resolving their own issues.

“Missing sunsets back at the Facility?” a voice asked and Rhodes rolled his eyes at the familiarity of the intrusion.

“Don’t you have some other jackass to bother?” Rhodey asked and heard a chuckle before Sam came up beside him and looked out the porch at the sunset.

“Nah, you’re the particular brand I like,” Sam shrugged and Rhoey rolled his eyes again, sipping his glass of lemonade, courtesy Natasha, “Nat’s lemonade, I see. Brave man.”

“I’ll let her know,” Rhodey shot back with a sly look and Sam raised his eyebrow before nodding in acceptance.

“How’s the leg?” Sam asked after a while and Rhodey felt a flicker of irritation but was prevented from venting when the guy continued, “The tech of the prosthetic looks different compared to the ones I’ve seen. Do you have secret weapons stashed in them?”

It was brash and possibly offensive. It was exactly what Rhodey liked at the moment.

“Not yet, but I’ll get them,” he promised with a smirk that Sam knew from challenges in the past. He nodded with a smile of his own and looked ahead, leaning against the banister of the door.

“This was screwed up, man,” Sam whispered after a few moments and Rhodey looked up with a frown, “The whole Accords situation. It was … _is_ screwed up.”

“One hundred and seventeen countries, Sam,” Rhodey countered calmly, “More than a hundred countries want us to be accountable and we say no, just because we want to hold our own power. If that’s what you mean, then yes, it’s screwed up.”

They had gone through this debate before. Both of them remembered that, remembered the times when they simply bickered and argued, never really fought.

“What would happen if we made a mistake?” Sam asked suddenly and Rhodey raised an eyebrow, “After signing the Accords, what would happen if we made a mistake? If we caused collateral damage that the UN didn’t see acceptable. If we helped out in places we weren’t sent. What would happen then?”

“We’d have a trial,” Rhodey answered with a shrug, “The same way it happens in the military. A tribunal to decide the best course of action.”

“Is that what Ross would have done?” Sam countered quietly, looking down at Rhodey.

“The man is a highly decorated officer with a –”

“-Congressional Medal of Honor and the good of the public at heart, yes I know. You’ve said that before,” Sam waved his hand and turned to face Rhodey completely, “but that doesn’t answer my question, Rhodes. What you just said, what the Accords proclaim, is that what Thaddeus Ross or even Everett Ross would do?”

“What do you wanna say, Sam?” Rhodey asked, tilting his head and giving Sam his entire focus.

“They don’t like us,” Sam answered bluntly, “Ross, WSC, probably even a few Presidents of other countries. They don’t like us.”

“They are _afraid_ of us, Sam. It’s not something that’s wrong with them in the matter.”

“Right, because we spend our entire lives saving them, right?” Sam asked quietly and Rhodey narrowed his eyes before calming down, “Rhodes, I’m not against accountability. I don’t follow Steve’s ‘our hands are the safest’ formula when it comes to the public either. But can you honestly tell me that Thaddeus Ross’ hands are the safest when it comes to our cases?”

“You had us on your side, Sam. Me, Tony, Natasha, Vision. We were there to ensure that changes could be made later. Once we had presented a united front in showing that we aren’t arrogant enough to put ourselves above the law.”

“And what could you guys do when we were put in prison?” Sam wondered and Rhodey felt his hackles rise. Sam saw that and raised both hands in a harmless gesture. “Hey, I’m not blaming you for it. You were just following your job. You had to get us to base in 36 hours, you did it. But do you honestly believe that any of us deserved the Raft, Rhodes?”

Rhodey was never a man who didn’t accept faults and mistakes on his team.

“No, you didn’t,” he agreed before continuing, “but you did break the law.”

“And we deserved to be detained for it,” Sam nodded before smiling tiredly, “but not in the Raft. Not the way we were kept. Not without a trial or a chance to explain ourselves. Not without an unbiased tribunal, Rhodes. All of this, every single point of this, Ross knew. He knew and yet he threw us there. If Steve hadn’t broken us out of there…tell me you don’t see anything wrong here, Rhodes?”

“We are not the underdogs here, Sam,” Rhodey shook his head sadly, “we’ve held too much power without facing consequences, for far too long. There was bound to be repercussions.”

“By someone we all know is a vocal hater of anything superhuman or more powerful than the military’s knowledge?” Sam asked quietly, “The Accords maybe UN, Rhodes, but leaving it in the hands of Ross? It doesn’t make us feel better. We can’t have two agencies barring us, Rhodes. The UN, I understand. I didn’t agree before, but I think I can see your point now. But Ross? The Raft? Stripping people of their dignity without basic rights of defense provided? Where in the world is that acceptable, Rhodes?”

“I don’t know if I should be happy about you agreeing with the Accords now or be concerned about Ross,” Rhodey commented softly and Sam huffed a laugh, taking a step closer and placing a hand on Rhodey’s shoulder.

“I know. That’s why I said it’s all screwed up,” Sam said and Rhodey nodded to himself.

They remained silent for a while, mulling about each other’s points. That was the specialty about Sam Wilson and James Rhodes. They didn’t brush off each other’s points often. Maybe it was the Air Force code, maybe it was a balanced friendship or maybe it was just plain respect for each other.

“How’re you doing, by the way?” Rhodey asked after a brief silence and Sam frowned down at him in confusion.

“Why? I’m always fine.”

“I’ve been in enough combats and lived with Tony Stark long enough to understand PTSD, Sam,” Rhodey said with a sad smile, “You saw me fall too. I remember Riley. It wouldn’t have..it wouldn’t have been easy on you.”

Sam’s face froze for a second but then he looked away and took a deep breath, shrugging casually.

“You can’t compare trauma,” he said as though reciting from memory before pausing and adding in a softer tone, “but thanks anyway. I’m…I’m fine.”

Rhodes was well-versed in detecting lies. He could tell that Sam wasn’t fine, nobody could be fine by a living reminder of a dead man. Nightmares were a common scenario during combat times. The faces of those you couldn’t save always remained stronger than those you did.

He knew Sam was lying. But he also knew that meaningless platitudes did nothing to ease the pain.

“Poor aliens, man,” he said instead and felt Sam’s questioning glance on his face, “trying to be us? They chose the most fucked up group and they don’t even realize it.”

Sam stared for a minute before chuckling aloud.

“Poor fucking aliens,” he echoed and leaned back against the door, diverting the topic to aliens from movies, books and Loki’s version they had seen. It was like cemetery humor and Steve would probably be offended by it if he heard them, but they didn’t care.

As they discussed Ripley Scott and the merits of tentacles, Sam and Rhodes felt some thorn wiggle free from the past.

\----------------------

In the end, the battle came too early for any of their liking. Tony, Bruce and Peter had successfully gotten a message across to all the superheroes possible, to keep an eye out for unnatural behaviour among their peers. They had gotten some interesting replies most of the times, but in the end, they did what they had to do. They sent the warnings.

Steve and Tony were still not seeing eye-to-eye, but most of the others has learnt to ignore it by now, focusing on their assigned work instead of the melodramatic leaders. On the fourth day since the warnings had been dispatched, Bruce tracked a large concentration of Skrulls in DC.

That was the first time everybody had seen, or rather, heard Steve and Tony talk. Maybe fight would be a better word.

“What’re they saying?” Scott asked for the millionth time when the voices went low from inside the workshop and Wanda sent Vision a warning glance when he opened his mouth.

“No Viz, you are _not_ walking in through the wall,” she said clearly before turning to Sam, “this is ridiculous. Shouldn’t we be getting ready for –”

“Shhh!” both Sam and Clint hissed before plastering themselves to the door again.

“-are you honestly OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” Tony yelled and Steve raised an eyebrow unflinchingly, “You’re seriously expecting me to reveal the identity of someone who is clearly uncomfortable revealing it?”

“He calls Natasha and Sam old, Tony,” Steve repeated calmly, “He has the voice of an adolescent and I’m betting that he has no previous training for a battle. So you can either tell me what’s his experience or we’re gonna sit him out.”

“You don’t get to decide that.”

“Honestly? If you’re not going to make wise decisions, then somebody else has to.”

“Don’t get me started on wise decisions, Rogers. Coming from you, that’s rich.”

“Deflection really won’t work this time. I’m not asking for a name. I’m asking for capabilities, training and experience. Which will also be determined by age.”

“Aren’t you the one who called Wanda a kid and then dragged her off to a battle? From a place where she was safe?”

Clint flinched at that and glanced at Wanda, who was determinedly not looking their way.

“What’d he say?” Scott asked when Steve’s reply came hushed.

“Are you really comparing Wanda’s powers and training to this guy?” Vision said, thanks to his better hearing.

“I trust him. He trusts his powers. That’s enough for now,” Tony shot back.

“Why are you resisting so much?”

“Why are you being an annoying dick? Oh wait, that’s something you are always.”

“I need to be able to trust my teammates if I –”

There was the sound of glass shattering and everybody flinched, even Natasha, who was carefully looking disinterested till then. Tony said something after that, but none of them could hear it.

Except for Vision, who kept his silence. He didn’t want people to hear it, not unless Tony wanted them to know.

_“You don’t get to talk about trust to me, Rogers. Not now, not ever. If there is one person who doesn’t deserve trust in this team, that’s you. So back off.”_

Everybody was so focused on eavesdropping that they didn’t notice Peter coming behind them. He looked at them all for a minute before sighing and pushing through, knocking on the door loudly.

“Go away!” Tony’s voice ran out.

“It’s me,” Peter said in reply, “Let me in. It’s important.”

There was silence for a while before the door opened and Steve looked at Spiderman with an unreadable expression on his face. He nodded though and moved aside to let him in, before shooting a glare at the others, to stop eavesdropping.

When the door shut again, Natasha stood up and cleared her throat.

“We should get on the jet,” she suggested and stared those down who looked like they were about to oppose, “We’re wasting time. They’ll join us when they’re done.”

Reluctantly, they all filed out, gadgets and weapons in hand. Bruce followed them all with his laptop and tracker in tow, shooting one last glance at the closed door of the workshop.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked gruffly when he saw Peter enter the lab in his costume. Peter noticed that his eyes looked red and his hair was all over the place. He shot a glance at Steve who didn’t look much better.

“I’m going to say this once and I really hope you guys get it,” Peter began before taking a deep breath and turning to Tony, “Mr. Stark, you’re awesome. No, really. I believed that before Berlin and I believe it even now. I had a look at the Accords and honestly, it goes against my secret identity plan, but I get where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t sign it but I don’t think Cap was right in running away from it either. That’s not very Captain America of him. But here’s the thing: we’re in the middle of an alien attack and you two are bickering like kids at my school. Couple-y kids. It’s like watching your parents going through a confused divorce and I know people who’ve seen them. Trust me, it’s not a cool thing to be stuck in. So, as much as I want to impress you, I think you need to let go of whatever your problems are and just fight aliens, you know? You don’t have to be everything at the same time. Just be Iron Man for now, yeah?”

Peter turned to Steve and tilted his head in an intensely regarding manner.

“Hey, Brooklyn,” he said and Steve raised an eyebrow, “That’s where you’re from, right? You told me, right after you dropped a truck on my head.”

“Sorry about that,” Steve said in a way that clearly meant the opposite.

Peter sighed and shook his head. “Man, talking to grown-ups sucks big-time,” he said quietly before continuing in a louder tone, “Cap, I’m a big fan of yours. I wasn’t when we were fighting, but yeah, you caught Zemo, so hey good job. I don’t know what the problem is between you and Mr. Stark and honestly, I think I’m better off not knowing. But it seems clear that you’re not going to get on that jet without ruining my secret identity plan.”

“Sorry kid, we can’t go to war without knowing whom we are fighting with,” Steve said, this time a tad apologetic, “You don’t have to reveal your identity. I wouldn’t ask that of you. But I have to know if you are trained for something this big. This isn’t a touch-hit at an airport. This is the big leagues. I need to know if you’re gonna be an asset or a liability.”

“I get it,” Peter shrugged and looked at Tony who was glaring a hole into Steve’s head, “It’s okay, Mr. Stark. I trust him.”

“Well, I don’t” Tony hissed furiously and Peter shot him another look.

“Then it’s good that this is _my_ identity we’re talking about,” he answered calmly, leaving out the _not yours_ part.

Reaching behind his mask, he pulled the cloth down, slowly revealing his face.

“Hi,” he said, blinking up at Steve, “Peter Parker. I’m 15 and from Queens. Nice to meet you.”

Steve felt the wind punch out from his gut when he realized how young the kid was. He remembered the fight in Berlin. The truck, the shield, Scott swatting the guy. A _fifteen year old_.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered and looked at Peter sincerely, “I really am sorry about that truck.”

“Nah, that’s okay,” Peter shrugged and Tony resisted an urge to groan into his hands, “now, can we go?”

“After that? Yeah, sure, he’s gonna let that happen,” Tony muttered sarcastically.

“For once, I agree with Tony,” Steve said firmly, “I’m not gonna let this happen. Kid, you’re gonna sit this one -”

“Don’t,” Peter said quietly and considered Steve with serious eyes, “Cap, I’ve been fighting in this suit, with my powers, for six months now. On my own. Nobody trained me, nobody made me tech to be safer. I did things on my own. And you know what? I did it well. I did it without dropping a city or destroying Hellicarriers. I saved people, Cap, just like you guys do. I get it, I’m not in the same league as you and I don’t have training. But I have my powers and some of them are stronger than yours. Right now, the world needs that. When we get out of this, if you’re still concerned, I’ll train. But till then, you don’t have a say in this. Neither of you do.”

“For once, let people take their own decision, guys,” he said with a feeble smile that did nothing to tone down the jab.

Steve stayed silent and observed the quiet strength of this young guy who had come in with Tony’s guidance. He saw something familiar in him. Something he had seen decades back, in the mirror, in the body of a frail, young boy who wouldn’t give up despite constant rejections.

He was surprised when he saw bits of himself in Peter. Then his eyes fell on Tony and he realized that the kid had bits of Tony’s genius in him too. He seemed to have both their strengths, apart from his own.

“Alright Peter, you’re on,” Steve said finally and Tony whirled to stare at him incredulously, “You come with us and you fight. But you stay away from direct attack. You don’t engage unless under attack yourself and you keep your distance from danger you **know** you can’t handle alone. You call for back-up as soon as you need it. Is that understood?”

Peter nodded and looked at Tony, remembering a similar speech he had gotten from him during Berlin.

“Great, thanks, does this mean I get training from you when we’re back?” Peter asked with an excited look on his face.

Steve smiled despite himself and shook his head tiredly.

“Just get on the jet, kid. We’ll discuss post-war when we win.”

Peter shrugged and pulled back his mask. With a quick salute to both Tony and Steve, he rushed out of the workshop.

Tony was still staring at Steve whose shoulders drooped as soon as Peter left.

“I know you can’t trust me personally,” he said quietly, without looking at Tony, “and I won’t ask you to change that. But for this battle, for today, I’d appreciate if I got Iron Man’s support. I know I’ll need it.”

Without waiting for Tony to answer, Steve walked out himself. Leaving a frustrated and incredibly confused Tony in half his armor.

\----------------------

Tony didn’t take the jet in the end, preferring to use his suit to fly. Rhodey had taken the jet, now on tech support. Clint and Natasha were flying the jet, still not all that in sync but managing formal conversation.

“Okay, you’ve got 10 minutes to reach the location,” Iron Man’s voice came through Clint’s comm and he glanced at Natasha to notice that she heard it too, “it seems like the police forces and additional support are falling apart faster than they can regroup. Shit, who thought we’d have a Skrull Thor!”

“We’ll be there on time, Stark,” Natasha reassured, glancing at Clint, “Just get ahead and set the scene for us.”

“Yeah, and try not to get them to sign any contract or legal document while you’re at it,” Clint muttered, getting a sharp clearing of throat from Steve behind him.

“I can’t believe – Clint, are you seriously still on about it?!” Tony demanded as he weaved through the air.

“Just making sure that I don’t get backstabbed again, Tony,” Clint said smoothly, “Guy’s gotta watch his own back better nowadays, right?”

Tony had a sharp jab ready on his tongue but then remembered Bruce’s words from a few days back. He swallowed the anger for a minute and breathed.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry” he said quietly, in a way that only Natasha and Clint could hear without the conversation being on speaker, “But you can’t blame me for not watching your back if you don’t trust me to watch it in the first place!”

Clint didn’t reply to that and felt another bout of frustration drain him for a moment. But then Natasha was steering the conversation to coordinates and ETA, making him drop any further thoughts and getting back on track.

Steve watched Clint grit his jaw throughout the rest of the journey and felt a pang of regret for involving the man in the mess in the first place.

\-----------

Being mad at your friend was fine. Being partnered with said mad friend during an alien battle was frustrating. Especially if the friends were stubborn asses like Tony and Clint.

“Clint, get your six!”

“Watch your own back!”

“Clint, goddam –“

Clint switched his line off and shot a shower of arrows, getting the Skrull Thor right in the chest. He didn’t bother turning around and helping his ‘partner’ in this spot till he got all Skrulls off in front of him. When he finally got the last one, he dragged a tired hand over his face and wiped the slime off his forehead.

“Okay, here’s the deal that –Iron Man?” Clint switched his comm back on but heard nothing but static. He whirled around and searched the sky for a red and gold blur but found nothing.

“Stark?” Clint tried again, tapping at his ear, growing tensed by the second, “Fuck, Tony? Man, this is not funny. Tony, answer me dammit!”

There was radio silence and Clint felt fear crash into him in waves. He remembered Tony’s words from the jet.

_I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. But you can’t blame me for not watching your back if you don’t trust me to watch it in the first place!_

Clint was still mad at Tony but he would never want him to get into any serious trouble because he was pissed with his own problems. That was not what people did in families, he remembered Natasha telling him coldly when she had met him outside the safehouse. Whatever said and done, whatever had passed between them, Tony was still family to Clint. And now he had failed to watch _his_ back.

“Cap!” he switched to the group line and barked louder, “Cap, Iron Man down. I repeat, Iron Man down.”

“Injuries?” Steve’s tense voice came through and Clint felt like banging his head somewhere.

“No, he’s not – he’s missing, Cap,” he clarified and heard a sharp hiss from Natasha, “He’s MIA.”

“Hawkeye, are your targets down?” Rhodey’s voice came from the jet and Clint bit back another expletive.

“Yeah, yeah, just find Tony.”

“I can’t track his homing bug,” Rhodey’s voice came low and full of tension, “Clint, when was the last time you saw him?”

This was what it felt like to be incompetent, Clint realized as he felt his face burn in shame.

“I didn’t see him when we were taking down targets,” he bit out, cursing himself, “I-My comm was turned off.”

“Son-of-a-bitch” Sam’s voice floated through and Clint for a minute wondered if that was meant for him or just an expression of surprise.

“Clint…” Natasha’s voice warned of a long talk after this and the archer knew that he would deserve every minute of it.

“Cap, what do we do?” he asked instead, wanting to find a solution before getting to the punishment.

There was silence from Steve and Clint thought for a moment that the Captain had lost contact. But then he heard a low and dangerous tone.

“Sam, get Clint to Spiderman’s location. He needs help,” Steve said, not acknowledging Clint directly, “I’ll get to Iron Man. Widow, take over my spot.”

Natasha knew that Steve wasn’t the same without his shield, but in the moment that she took over for him, she saw a rage that she knew would be compensation enough.

**Precap:**

Bucky froze when he heard the noise. In a fraction of a second, he had whirled around, the plate in hand, ready to throw it on whoever had snuck in. Only to find a rather tired but determined looking Tony Stark staring pointedly at the plate, like it had offended his family.

 _Right. NOT thinking about that_.

"Brooklyn" Tony said abruptly and Bucky clenched the plate harder, watching closely for any signs of aggression. Tony, on the other hand, simply stared at him for another minute before squaring his shoulders and stepping into the room, like he belonged there or it belonged to him.

"Brooklyn," he repeated and Bucky swallowed a bit, trying to get his mouth to work but Tony simply continued, observing the room and not looking at Bucky, "That's where you're from. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, son of George M Barnes and Winifred Barnes. Part of the 117th Infantry Regiment. Also part of the Howling Commandos. Trained sniper. Fluent in English, Russian, Romanian, French and Spanish. That's you, right?"

Bucky had serious doubts that this was part of some hallucination his mind was creating but Tony was still standing in front of the coffee table and looking at him with a sense of boredom. He breathed in and out once deeply and slowly nodded.

The nod seemed to be some sort of a switch because suddenly, the boredom was swapped with interest and a small smirk on Tony Stark's extremely expressive face.

"That's good," Tony said with a nod of his own, "Hi."

Bucky wondered what was going on but his mother hadn't raised a heathen and so he rolled his hurt shoulder a bit and forced the greeting out.

"Hi"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped a lot of battle scenes because there's a LOT more ground to cover. I hope that didn't take away much from the story. Feedback please! <3


	8. Chapter 8

Tony knew the definition of the phrase 'dick move' better than any person in the world. He'd done it, had it done to him, had contributed to someone else doing it and had also borne the brunt of somebody else's doing. He was a specialist in dick moves. They were practically the biography of his entire life.

In short, he was used to it. He really was. What he was not used to was a self-dick move.

"Okay, I know that I've always wanted to clone myself for the betterment of the world, but this is seriously creepy. And unfair, because how did you get my laugh-lines right?" Tony demanded as he struggled against the kevlar traps keeping him bound to the lounge chair.

"You are a very public man," Skrull Tony replied, shrugging eerily similar to how Tony did himself, "it was an easy job to learn you."

"Huh" Tony mused, pushing his inner panic down and putting on his most cocky expression, "another reason to hate the paparazzi.  So what's the plan now? I don't have magic DNA or serum or some stone stuck in my head. The arc reactor's gone too, so basically nothing special to take from me. Why exactly did you pick me out from everyone else?"

Tony was secretly cursing Clint with every fiber of his body. The idiot with a brain of a mayfly. If he had simply listened to Tony instead of switching off his fucking comm, Tony wouldn't be here. He had been busy covering for Clint's ass along with his own and had missed the EMP that had caught his power source hard enough to make him fall. Of course, he hadn't fallen to his death, because that would have been too easy for Tony Stark. He had fallen at the feet of another red and gold suit. A fake Iron Man suit. The last thing Tony remembered before he tried to yell at Clint for help was seeing his own face staring down at him.

And now he was here. Away from the main battle. Stuck with an alien who looked like him. Fucking Clint Barton.

"You are the leader," Skrull Tony said and Tony blinked, focusing on the present, "you do not need secret powers or superhuman strength to be important, do you? You have your own power, your name. We do not need to take anything from you to win."

"Then what?" Tony frowned, hoping against hope that one of his smarter team mates would have the sense to track his hidden tracker in the suit because his homing bug had been destroyed.

"We will simply be you," Skrull Tony replied and Tony felt himself freeze, his brain immediately catching up to the consequences of this, "Yes, you see now, don't you Stark? You see how brilliant our plan is? I don't have to kill you to win. I simply have to be you."

"Yeah, good luck trying to get that right with everyone," Tony scoffed, trying to buy time with his jabs.

Skrull Tony smirked in response and Tony felt his confidence shake when he saw that it was identical to his own.

"Your team is broken, there is no trust between you all," Skrull Tony quipped as he walked around to another lounge chair, "you misread each other all the time and you search for opportunities to put each other down. I don't have to do anything other than simply step up what you are already doing. In the end, we wouldn't have to do anything -"

"The Avengers will tear themselves down," Tony completed the sentence, understanding the horror of the extent the alien was talking about. He thought of the mess they werew all already in and then multiplied it with the mess this new update would create. Yep, shitstorm would be an appropriate term for the current situation. 

That was when Tony began to struggle for real.

**********

Steve could hear the pointed silence from Rhodey's comm as he cursed fluently, using words even Tony wouldn't use in the worst of situations. He didn't really care though, not when they were flying blind on tracking Tony.

"I thought the homing bugs were supposed to be stronger than this," he bit out as he tried to salvage the last signal from Tony's bug. Bruce and Rhodey had been restricted to surveillance and tech support as per Tony's plan, thinking that they would be in the eye of a storm if Ross came around blowing the Accords horn. T'Challa had gathered the quick support of the UN for this mission, albeit after the mission had begun, citing that nobody else was equipped to handle aliens. Vision was in-charge of collateral control and strangely, he had been doing really well, restricting the damage to areas with minimal loss probability. Tony had somehow, with the help of T'Challa and General Talbot, another close aid of the President, managed to wrangle some support for evacuation. 

It seemed that the UN was willing to stay off the back of the Avengers in the face of aliens, though Steve was sure that they would be taken in for some 'consequences' after the battle. Somehow, that seemed inevitable whatever they did, but for the moment, they couldn't afford to think about that. 

"The bug can be destroyed only by a specific code," Bruce argued on his comm, sounding stressed and a tad confused, "which cannot be activated by anyone and everyone."

"Unless it is done by the person who created the bug in the first place," Rhodey countered quietly and Steve cursed again, jumping over a block of rubble, "Bruce, you've got to consider the possibility of Tony having destroyed it himself."

"Or somebody made him do it," Steve completed the unsaid thought, thankful that Rhodey was considerate enough to not mince words.

"There's got to be another way," Bruce muttered to himself and Steve could hear him messing with some metallic instruments, "there's got to be another way to track him."

Steve was about to ask if Rhodey could hack into Tony's suit when he felt his comm crackle and another voice floated in.

"Hey guys? We're almost done here," Peter's voice came through and he continued after a pause, a bit hesitant, "not to doubt your awesome abilities but any update on Mr. Stark yet? The Hawk-guy is kind of freaking out and creeping me out too. Is his bitch face really this dangerous or is this something more serious than you guys are letting on?"

"We're tracking Tony, Spiderman," Steve replied, keeping his voice calm and confident even if he didn't feel either, "Clint will be fine. Are you guys all safe? What's the status?"

"Yeah, I really don't think Hawky is fine," Peter's voice came back, with a small wince which indicated that Clint was being more vicious in his clean up than necessary, "but I kinda have to go now, before the authorities come in and ask me to do my ultimate reveal. Mr. Stark told me to stay away from -"

"Yes, okay, you're right," Steve cut in, remembering that Peter couldn't be here for the aftermath, "you should leave. Stay low and wait for Ton-...one of us to contact you. We'll handle the rest from here. Thanks son."

"Whoa, son? Wow...erm, thanks," Peter replied sheepishly before the comm went silent for a minute but then he continued, "Seriously though, are you guys tracking him? Any clue?"

Steve wanted to snap, wanted to tell Peter to just leave and keep himself safe. This was his mess, a mess his team had created and Peter shouldn't be involved. Before he could say anything though, Bruce cut in.

"Actually, we could use some help," Bruce spoke slowly, "the homing bug failed and we're kind of flying blind."

"What?" Peter's voice came higher than usual and Steve was reminded of how young the kid was.

"Bruce..." Rhodey voice came low and in mild warning but the doctor continued nonetheless.

"Spiderman, you know your tech, right? Any ideas how we could get through?" he asked, proving once again that he had no qualms about respecting intelligence over age.

"Well...he had his suit, right?" Peter asked and Steve could hear the voice shaking, like the kid was running or swinging somewhere fast.

"Friday's down on his suit," Rhodey answered and Steve heard a non-committal hum from Peter.

"Yeah, but that can't be the only tracker on the suit?"

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, coming to a stop between two alleys.

"You guys know that he designed my suit, right?" Peter asked and went on without waiting for the reply, "well, he kind of made sure that I have at least three trackers on me, in various forms. This is Stark tech, right? There's always a contingency plan with his tech, isn't it? So there must be a hidden tracker or something, like a black box in case the other visible ones fail."

"And how will we access it?" Rhodey asked, now sounding businesslike.

"You use the other side of the magnet," Peter answered, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Meaning?" Steve asked, thinking of every possibility.

"If you have to track one suit, you need to have the other one," Peter answered simply, "the opposite of his suit, the War Machine."

"Rhodes, can you use your suit tracker to verify this?" Steve asked immediately and waited when Rhodey told him to. The three minutes it took for Rhodey to confer with the AI of his suit and search it for trackers were the most anxious ones for Steve in a long time.

"Got it!" Rhodey's voice came after some time and Steve became alert, "Spidey, remind me to get you an upgrade from Tony when he comes back. You're a genius!"

"Thanks," Peter replied with masked excitement in his voice.

"Yes, yes, Rhodes, coordinates?" Steve cut in, knowing that he was being rude but focused more on the solution than the praise. He could praise Peter later, after he had got Tony out from wherever he was.

"Transferring to your reader," Rhodey answered and Steve looked at the small device in his hand, watching as a small red blip appeared on the screen.

"Thanks guys, I'm going in," he announced and rushed to the location being indicated on his reader.

***********

Tony was going to shoot back a jab at the Skrull currently sittingly calmly on the other lounge chair when he heard the unmistakable crash of glass shattering. He had a moment to gather his bearing when he noticed his binds coming free and turned to see the other Skrull getting strapped on automatically. 

He was about to pick up his gauntlet from a table in front of him when he heard heavy footsteps come in and a familiar voice boom through.

"Stop! Drop the gauntlet!"

Tony froze and felt annoyance and relief course through him in equal parts. He turned around slowly, raising his hands in a peace gesture.

"Hey Cap, calm down, it's just me," he said as he saw a thunderous looking Steve face him with a frickin  _gun_ , "errr, did you change your weapon or something? You don't use guns."

"Tony, are you okay?" Steve asked instead of replying, looking at the fucking Skrull Tony and Tony felt another bout of irritation course through him. 

"He's not Tony, I am," he said calmly, praying that the Captain actually trusted him for once, "Rogers, listen to me, I'm Tony."

"Steve, get this off me," Skrull Tony said, struggling against his own bonds and Tony had the impulse to blast him off but Steve seemed to sense it because he cocked his gun.

"Steve..." Tony tried again, knowing that this wouldn't end well if Steve didn't trust him.

"Unlock him," Steve said in his Captain voice, one he reserved for Hydra scum and Tony felt a small part of goodwill tear away for the man.

"Rogers, don't be stupid," he said and Steve's eyes narrowed, "he's an alien."

"Cap, don't waste time, he's stalling," Skrull Tony cut in, "get me off here. This place is probably rigged to blow."

"Rogers, don't," Tony warned once more.

"Untie him. Now," Steve warned back and before Tony could react, he aimed and shot at the release button behind Tony.

Tony froze in horror but was too late to stop it because the binds came off the Skrull and he was standing beside it now. Both of them identical, in front of Steve, who was definitely going to shoot one of them.

"Cap, get this over with," Skrull Tony goaded, voice confident and Tony felt a sense of foreboding.

"Steve, listen to me, this isn't the truth. I'm Tony, Tony Stark."

"Steve, we have to go, now. Shoot and let's go!"

 Tony watched with a detached horror as Steve turned to him and poised to shoot. So this was it, he thought, this was how things would end. He knew that he couldn't knock Steve out, the guy's reflex was faster than the broken gauntlet's power. He wanted to scream, yell at Steve to trust him, but he knew that it would be futile. He knew that Steve didn't trust him. He probably never trusted him. Images of Siberia and the shield flashed before his eyes and he felt the fight drain from his arms. He wanted to blame someone for this, wanted to blame everyone. But he couldn't. He couldn't blame anyone because he knew that the trust part of their relationship had gone. It was all gone, any chance they had of reconciling. This was his end, at the hands of Steve -

The shot rang in his ears and Tony flinched, staring at the shocked eyes of Steve in front of him. The silence after the shot was eerie and heavy and Tony felt the after-effects of it echoing in his head. He should fall now, he should be crumbling. 

But he wasn't.

He shakily looked down at himself and saw that there was no blood on his body. He heard a thud to his right though and saw the Skrull collapse to the ground, the body morphing from his own to a sickly green alien's. Brown eyes changed into large purple ones and Tony felt his brain repeating a single sentence again and again.

He was alive. Tony was alive. Steve had shot the Skrull.

"What...how.." he whispered but Steve was striding forward before he could complete the thought. He couldn't do anything as large hands caught his shoulders and made him stare at blue eyes. Calm eyes that looked sorry. Steve's eyes.

"We have to go now, Tony," Steve said slowly, like he was talking to a child. Under different circumstances, Tony would have complained. But he could feel his own hands shaking, a chill going down his spine at the thought of what could have happened. He simply nodded and let Steve hold him near his body as they walked out of the building. Throughout the walk, steve didn't look at Tony but he didn't remove his hand from the shorter man's arm as well. The heat from Steve's hand and arm made the chill of Tony's body stay at bay.

They stayed silent as they walked a few feet where a medic van stood. They stayed silent as a SHIELD agent threw a shock blanket over Tony. They didn't look at each other as Steve spoke to Rhodey over the comm, relaying the news of Tony's safety quickly. Tony could see agents asking him questions but he was too stunned to be answering all of them.

"Steve..." he said when one of them asked him if he wanted something, "Steve, where's he?"

"Tony?" Steve's voice came through and he saw the tired looking Cap come from behind an agent, eyes furrowed and checking if Tony was hurt.

"How?" he asked, not forming the entire question, "How?"

Steve froze and then looked uncomfortable but Tony shrugged the hands of agents who were trying to look him over, staring up at Steve. Finally, Steve breathed out and whispered something to an agent beside him. The agent looked suspicious but nodded and asked all the other agents to leave the van with him. Leaving only Steve and Tony.

"How?" Tony asked again, this time voice stronger and eyes looking panicked.

"Tony, calm down," Steve muttered, slowly sitting down across Tony, at a comfortable distance, "you need to calm down."

"Don't do that!" Tony shot back, clenching his blanket and glaring at Steve desperately, "Don't! Tell me. How did you know?"

Steve looked conflicted for a moment before he sighed and looked at his hands. A few seconds passed in silence, Tony staring at Steve and Steve staring at his hands. Finally, Steve looked up with a resigned look on his face.

"Your eyes," he said quietly and Tony frowned.

"Both of us had the same eyes," he countered but Steve shook his head with a mirthless laugh.

"No, not the appearance," he said with a bitter voice and Tony had to bite his tongue to keep quiet. Steve took a breath and continued, "He looked at me like he trusted me."

Tony felt his breath stop but Steve continued regardless.

"He looked confident, sure that I would save him. He looked at me like a friend, like he knew that I would choose him," Steve said softly, looking at Tony's legs before looking up and staring at him with defeated eyes.

"You don't look at me like that anymore" he whispered the last part and it felt like the loudest voice in Tony's ears. He could hear the unsaid words in that single sentence.

_You don't trust me anymore. I'm not your friend anymore. You don't believe me._

Tony wanted to rail at him for throwing this. This emotional baggage that Tony didn't deserve. He didn't want to hear this from Steve. He didn't want to acknowledge this statement. He didn't want this at all.

Because he knew that it was true. And he could see that Steve knew it too. 

The worst part was that Tony knew that Steve wouldn't push him to change it. He wouldn't try to convince Tony to trust him. Even in the letter, the horrible letter, he hadn't indicated that he wanted Tony's trust. Yes, it was arrogant and deplorable even to a certain point. But it was also the truth and Steve had never been one to back down from anything. He  _was_ arrogant and bullheaded. He was the worst at apologizing and he never, ever sounded truly sorry for things that hurt others. He was a proud bastard. But Tony had always known that, hadn't he? Right from their first meeting, he had deduced this.

And he had gone on to become this guy's friend. 

Tony knew his own faults well enough to know that perfection was over-rated. He had learnt over the years that nobody was perfect. If somebody was, then it meant that when they made mistakes, the result would be 100 times worse than those of imperfect people. That was a cost of perfection. Yet, he had placed Steve on this pedestal, blinding himself with an illusion that Steve was the closest to perfect anybody could be. He was the light to their darkness, wasn't he? 

Oh, how that assumption had turned out in the end.

Steve was right. Tony didn't trust him anymore, not like he had in the past. But hearing it from him, hearing this acceptance from the man who never accepted defeat hurt. It hurt because Tony didn't know how to fight defeated men. And he wanted to fight Steve. Because fighting was the only way they could communicate for now.

Tony didn't speak and looked at his own hands, avoiding Steve's eyes. After a few minutes, he heard the man stand up and leave the van quietly. As the agents came back in, hesitantly checking Tony for his vitals, the genius felt conflicted about his situation again. 

He hated being conflicted. And maybe that made him hate Steve Rogers a bit less than a few hours ago.

********

Natasha didn't expect things to be different after one mission, even if it had been a fight against aliens and the Avengers had successfully defeated them. Sure, the Accords situation had eased a bit, with the Skrull Invasion putting the Avengers back in the positive spotlight. The public had begun to acknowledge that the Avengers had saved the day and despite Ross' insistence on throwing them all into the Raft, the UN had intervened and agreed to hold a revised debate. T'Challa had managed to get half of the countries to see that there were a lot of loopholes in the Accords and the verdict was to have a slower, more detailed discussion, with a joint commission to redraft the whole charter. They had roped in a couple of lawyers for the Avengers, thanks to Rhodey's stand and Tony's resources, making the process more transparent. 

On the whole, the Avengers weren't fugitives any more, though they weren't cleared for duty till the UN's green signal either. Natasha felt like thanking the aliens for this but she settled for thanking T'Challa.

The Accords were changing and that was a big positive. The dynamic of the team though, that was still awkward and tense. People weren't killing each other, but they weren't being normal as well. Well, a few of them were, if you took Sam, Rhodey, Natasha herself and Clint into consideration.

That was a pleasant change, Natasha recalled. Clint's grudging but honest reconciliation with Tony had been ... quite anticlimactic actually. When Tony had been retrieved by Steve and Clint had seen him in the debrief on the jet, everybody had tensed, expecting another shouting match. Instead, Clint had simply walked forward and stuck his hand out with a petulant scowl, offering an olive branch to Tony. Tony had not accepted the hand and had simply raised an eyebrow. But then Clint had muttered something under his breath, audible to only Tony and they had seen the genius crack a smile, sighing tiredly before taking the hand and shaking it with the ghost of the old-time smirk.

When Sam had asked Clint what he had told Tony later, the archer had simply said "It's the AAC Sam, you won't get it."

Of course, Natasha knew all about the Arrogant Asshole Code. It was a code between Tony and Clint from years back, one that dictated that they had to forgive the other person on the count of being an inherent asshole if one of them did something stupid. It was an immature apology and Natasha would have kicked their asses if they had tried it on her. But Tony and Clint were more similar and strangely closer than what people knew. Clint had always understood and accepted Tony better than the rest in the past, being the rare one to trust the genius to come through when things got tough. It was probably why Clint had been the worst reaction to Tony doing nothing about the Raft. Maybe Tony knew this too, Natasha thought as she saw them interact more often, rubbing each other with snark and sarcasm. They were two peas in a pod and the reconciliation had been a big relief for everyone. 

They were both idiots but they functioned better when they were on the same side. So Natasha simply observed in silence as both of them made everybody's life hell in the Compound, where all of them had shifted back. She hadn't been surprised when Clint had begun burrowing himself in Tony's workshop for long lengths of time, both of them hiding from their problems by playing fools with each other. She knew that Clint needed to sort things out with Laura and Tony needed to sort out his own problems as well, but she didn't have the patience to do anything about it.

In time, they would goad each other to solve things in their own twisted ways, she knew that. Till then, she was okay with letting them hide behind workshops and EMP arrows.

**********

"You should talk to your missus some time soon, you know?" Tony commented as he re-arranged the targets for Clint's latest Lightening Arrows. Clint's name, not his. 

"You should talk to Rogers some time soon, you know?" Clint shot back, in the same tone Tony had used, focusing and letting the arrow go, watching as it hit the target perfectly.

Tony nodded and increased the speed of the moving targets, mock-hummingbirds. "I know," he said with a shrug as Clint cleanly brought two robotic birds down, "but me not talking to Rogers is not going to result in a divorce."

Clint paused in his arrow-shower before shrugging in return.

"Yeah, I know," he replied, "but me not talking to Laura is not going to result in the break-up of the team either."

Tony rolled his eyes and stopped the simulation when Clint scored his final targets, taking a mock bow and swinging the bow back onto his shoulder.

"We should make our LMDs and make them handle our problems," Tony suggested as he leaned back on his chair and stretched his back. Clint thought about it for a minute before nodding vaguely.

"Yeah, okay, but can we have better biceps on the LMDs? I mean, we've got the butts but we could have better biceps, right? Would help in making my sleeveless outfits look sexier," Clint smirked and Tony snorted.

"Talk about yourself, Legolas" he sniffed and rolled his shoulder to show off his own muscles in the tank-top he was wearing, "but seriously, Clint."

"Seriously, Tony," Clint sat down across Tony's chair and shot him a mock-glare that Tony waved off.

"She's a nice lady. Nicer than you deserve, surely," Tony pointed out and Clint flipped him the bird but nodded nonetheless.

"I know, I know. I just...don't know how to talk," Clint gestured vaguely and Tony mock-gasped.

"Why Mr. Barton, I never!" he fluttered his eyes and ducked when Clint threw a bolt at him, "Barton, I know that you don't know to talk. You told me  _'shake hands or I'll glitter you'_ when you tried to apologize to me. That's a good example of the fact that you can't talk. I'm pretty sure Laura knows that too."

"First of all asshole, you should know that me threatening to glitter someone is a sign of great sacrifice," Clint pointed out with his index finger, "glitter sticks to your hand, to your hair, to your everywhere. The mere thought of me willing to use that torture myself to torture you into being my friend means that you're special."

"Oooh, shivers," Tony commented dead-panned but Clint nodded seriously and continued.

"Secondly, you're not normal -"

"You're doing a great job with this explanation, buddy," Tony informed with a sage nod.

"Thanks, but it's true," Clint continued, "you and me, we're not normal people. We don't do normal apologies. We're conditioned to understand asshole language. You screwed up and I threw shit at you. I screwed up and you threw shit at me."

"Are you saying, we're monkeys?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The point is," Clint shushed him and spoke on, "we suck at talking about our problems like mature adults. And Laura is a mature adult. She's practically the only reason I have three kids -"

"Apart from your penis," Tony pointed out and Clint paused before nodding.

"-alive and normal. But thanks, yes my penis is great too. Unfortunately, I don't have to apologize to my penis. I have to apologize to Laura. That is scary."

"Sucks to be married to adults, man," Tony commented and Clint made a non-committed hum.

"You gonna do something about Barnes?" Clint asked after a moment and Tony froze but relaxed when he remembered that Clint knew the truth. Or rather, had found out the truth by being a snoop and stealing the blasted letter from Tony's room. 

"Do I have to?" Tony countered and Clint shrugged.

"Do you have to eat food to poop?" Clint commented and Tony scrunched his nose.

"Horrible analogy, valid point," Tony announced before going back to analyzing the data from Clint's tests, "I don't know what to do about him. I mean, he killed my parents. That's like the biggest deal-breaker. But he's also a victim of Hydra scum. Which is kind of Bambi sad. It's an uneven balance."

"Okay, but what side is winning right now?" Clint asked and Tony stored a set of data before shrugging.

"T'Challa recommended BARF," Tony said simply and to his credit, Clint didn't react beyond a hum, "They haven't been able to remove all the triggers and they're finding it difficult to try without hurting his nervous system."

"And they will ice him if they try any further," Clint added and Tony nodded after a pause.

"Which sucks, because well, it won't be useful putting him back into ice after fighting so hard, right?" Tony asked and Clint nodded, "So it's either BARF or useless ice for him."

"Hmmm" Clint hummed again and looked at the holograph Tony was working on.

"You think I should help him, don't you?" Tony asked after a long stretch of silence.

"Doesn't matter what I think," Clint replied and leaned back on his chair, "This is your decision. You deserve the right to choose."

"Oh God, you're sounding mature," Tony groaned and Clint leaned forward to flick a finger at Tony's hand.

"Hey, you stay with Laura and Natasha and even you'll catch the mature germs," Clint rolled his eyes but then looked serious, "and I mean it. What happened, the whole Siberia deal, it sucked for you. Steve is a piece of shit for having hidden it from you. Doesn't matter why he did it. It wasn't his secret to keep, it wasn't his matter to hide. You deserved the truth."

"Barton, you've already punched the guy once. Stop jumping up with the pitchforks now," Tony commented, remembering the glorious sight of Clint marching up to Steve in the middle of the living room and punching his face before snarling the words 'that's for Siberia' at him and stalking off. Steve hadn't been bruised more than a scratch but the quietly accepting expression on his face had been painful enough. Clint had always been particular about being honest and protecting families. He was the only one in the old team who had children and knew what it meant for a hit to the family. He was the only one who could understand how much Tony would have been effected by the blow to his parents. That had been the only time Laura had sided with Clint after their cold war had started. 

Clint had become Tony's unofficial bodyguard after that, even though he ranted at him for being stupid enough to trust Ross. Tony was just happy to have his asshole friend back.

"Hey, wait till Thor comes back. The punch will be a lot more effective from him," Clint shrugged and Tony raised an eyebrow at him before shaking his head.

"You have a strange sense of justice, Birdbrain," he proclaimed, "you disagree with me and you almost disown me. You disagree with Rogers and you punch him. Extremity is a thing with you, isn't it?"

"Tony, you both are the definition of screwed up egos and jerks with hearts of gold," Clint rolled his eyes, "whatever you do, you both do it in extremes. I just react accordingly. You were scared about our limitless power and you sided with fucking Thaddeus Ross. He was scared of people telling him what to do and he literally ran away to another country. You guys don't know the meaning of civilized discussion. It's invisible in your dictionaries. Manufacturing defect, I think."

"Fuck off and thank you," Tony quipped with a grin and Clint snorted to himself.

"But seriously, any clue on Barnes?" the archer asked again and Tony sighed tiredly, picking at his nails.

"I don't Clint. My first impression of the guy was shit," Tony said quietly and Clint looked at him before nodding.

"Do you want him to be punished?" Clint asked bluntly and Tony glared at him. Clint stared back challengingly till Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"No, not really," he admitted tiredly, "I did about a month back but now...I've had time to think. And he has seventy years of trauma. That's kind of punishment enough."

"But you still hate him." Clint prompted and Tony shook his head.

"I don't know. I don't like him? Yeah, that sounds better than hate," he admitted, "I can't just forget what I saw, Clint. I don't hate him but I don't like him either. Does that make sense?"

"Hey man, you just described my relationship with Vision. Believe me, I get it," Clint said and Tony frowned, ready to defend Vision but held his tongue. Clint had always been wary of robots, especially Vision, since he was partly a creation of Ultron. Everybody had their ghosts and Tony kind of understood that.

"So I'm not really sure what I want to do," the genius said instead and Clint nodded before leaning forward and considering Tony's face.

"What do you need to help in deciding?" he asked and Tony looked up but Clint continued, "man, you just said that you aren't sure, right? Which means you need to know something more to come to a decision. What exactly is that? What'll help?"

Tony stayed silent and thought about it. What did he need to come to a decision? What was the missing variable here? The answer was quite simple and prominent, even if it was uncomfortable.

"I need to know him," Tony said finally, "I haven't spoken to the guy apart from the angry grunting in Siberia. I know about him, from his file and history books, but I don't  _know_ the guy he is now. I don't want to help him just because he's a victim. He's not a helpless withering flower in my eyes, no matter what Rogers thinks. I know people who have gone through trauma and aren't ex-assassins. I get it, I get that it wasn't his choice but he did do it. I can't discount that, not after having watched it with my own eyes. I need to find out if he can be helped, if he can get better with BARF. If it's just a hopeless attempt, I don't want to do it. I'm not that charitable right now. But...but if he deserves it, if he has hope of getting better, if he really can come over Hydra's shit and become Bucky Barnes, then maybe...maybe he deserves a chance. I want to know who needs my help, Clint. I don't want to do it for Steve Roger's best friend or the poor baby who T'Challa is protecting. I honestly don't care about both of them. It's James Bucky Barnes who needs to show me why I should help him. If, and it's still an if, if I help him, I want it to be for him and not his friends or people who feel guilty about trying to kill him. That's what I need. I need to know him."

Clint didn't react throughout the rant. He kept quiet and watched Tony speak, not judging him till the end. At the end, he patted him on the back and shot him a small smile.

"Then let's get to know James Bucky Barnes," he said simply and Tony breathed out before shrugging nonchalantly even though his brain was swimming with possible repercussions.

"Let's meet James Bucky Barnes," he echoed and decided to call T'Challa with an offer.

Clint stayed in the workshop for another hour before grumbling about hunger and stale sandwiches. He was near the door when Tony called out.

"Hey, Barton?"

"Yeah?"

"She still loves you," Tony said quietly with a shrug, "you've got something that people don't get easily. My dad threw it away once even if...even if it didn't look like it. Your brats deserve better. Just saying."

If it had been anybody else, Clint would have had a hot retort on his lips. But Tony knew what he was talking about. He had come from a broken family even if it didn't look like it. He had suffered for his dad's ego and pride. To think that Cooper, Lila and Nate would end up the same...

"I'll try, Tones," he replied with a shrug and saw Tony's nervous look relax into a small grin.

"If it all goes to shit, I'll build you a nice LMD," Tony promised and Clint snorted, knowing that this was the best encouragement the little shit could offer.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work on my biceps, smarty pants," Clint whistled before jogging out of the workshop, Tony's gagging sounds following him. 

Maybe they wouldn't be so bad in the end after all, he thought to himself, feeling a little better.

*************************

When Bucky had been told that he was to be shifted to the Compound, he imagined two consequences: 1) Ross would put him into prison or 2) Tony Stark was finally going to get his revenge. He was prepared for both. He didn't want them, mind you, but he was prepared. He was also glad that Stevie wasn't trying to make him feel better because honestly, Steve kind of sucked at it nowadays. He was too depressed himself to make anybody feel better.

In short, Bucky Barnes was ready for this change. What he was not ready for was the big white room with amenities and comfort. He wasn't prepared to be treated like a guest. To be treated human. 

Sure, not many people came to meet him, apart from Sam, Steve and Natalia aka Natasha. Wanda visited him once but then never returned, saying something about too many visuals attacking her mind. Scott Lang came up some times with some new puzzle to crack and Bucky made it a point to spin fables about Steve's 'Golden days' to have some fun at Scott's fanboy expressions. The android, Vision Steve called him, walked through the door one day and Bucky had thrown the book he was reading at the guy. He had no regrets about that one, even if the android had simply stared at him before walking out. Clint Barton had dropped in one day, stared at him for half an hour, stolen a book from his bookshelf and had left with a wink. Bucky had felt better about not being the craziest guy around that day.

Everybody had come once or twice, apart from his regulars. Everyone except for Tony Stark. The guy who had negotiated Bucky's transfer. The guy who probably had the best reason not to have Bucky in this place. Bucky wasn't expecting him to come or talk to him. He was sure that it wouldn't happen.

Which was why today was strange.

Bucky froze when he heard the noise. In a fraction of a second, he had whirled around, the plate in hand, ready to throw it on whoever had snuck in. Only to find a rather tired but determined looking Tony Stark staring pointedly at the plate, like it had offended his family.

 _Right. NOT thinking about that_.

"Brooklyn" Tony said abruptly and Bucky clenched the plate harder, watching closely for any signs of aggression. Tony, on the other hand, simply stared at him for another minute before squaring his shoulders and stepping into the room, like he belonged there or it belonged to him.

"Brooklyn," he repeated and Bucky swallowed a bit, trying to get his mouth to work but Tony simply continued, observing the room and not looking at Bucky, "That's where you're from. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, son of George M Barnes and Winifred Barnes. Part of the 117th Infantry Regiment. Also part of the Howling Commandos. Trained sniper. Fluent in English, Russian, Romanian, French and Spanish. That's you, right?"

Bucky had serious doubts that this was part of some hallucination his mind was creating but Tony was still standing in front of the coffee table and looking at him with a sense of boredom. He breathed in and out once deeply and slowly nodded.

The nod seemed to be some sort of a switch because suddenly, the boredom was swapped with interest and a small smirk on Tony Stark's extremely expressive face.

"That's good," Tony said with a nod of his own, "Hi."

Bucky wondered what was going on but his mother hadn't raised a heathen and so he rolled his hurt shoulder a bit and forced the greeting out.

"Hi"

"Ah, he speaks!" Tony crowed and Bucky raised an eyebrow but the genius had waved him off without waiting for a response, "So, I'm here."

"I'll get the banners out?" Bucky responded carefully and Tony froze, peering at him for a minute before shrugging and collapsing on the couch.

"I've got one Banner to advertise me enough, thanks," Tony quipped and Bucky snorted without thinking, getting a surprised look from the sprawled genius before him.

"Are you here to kill me?" he asked bluntly but with a calm voice. Tony seemed to consider it for a minute before shrugging again.

"I don't know. Will you give me a reason to?"

"In my experience, anything can be a reason," Bucky replied, "sometimes even nothing."

"Cryptic and deep, interesting." Tony commented before swinging one leg over the arm of the couch and gesturing to the chair beside it, "Nah, I'm not going to kill you yet. Have a seat. I'll inform you before I go crazy."

"Thanks," Bucky said dead-panned but cautiously went forward and sat on the chair, raising an eyebrow at Tony questioningly.

"You killed my parents," Tony said as soon as Bucky made himself comfortable.

"Yes," Bucky answered, tensing but not flinching away from meeting Tony's calculating gaze, "I also killed many more people. I'm sure some of them were parents too."

Tony didn't say anything and simply looked at him for a while before nodding and looking away.

"I've been watching you, you know," Tony said after a while and Bucky frowned.

"Should I be calling that a yellow light innuendo?" he asked and Tony snorted despite himself, relaxing a bit but shaking his head.

"Don't flatter yourself, buddy. You're pretty but not  _that_ pretty," Tony waggled his eyebrows and continued, "No, I've been watching you for pure scientific reasons. Do you know why you're here? In the Compound instead of Wakanda?"

"King T'Challa thinks you can help me," Bucky said slowly, remembering the conversation he had before he left the kingdom, "He believes you can help me get...better."

"And you?" Tony countered sharply, all business, "What do you think?"

"I think you don't have any reason to help me," Bucky said bluntly, staring back at Tony calmly.

Tony blinked and cocked his head, trying to figure something out in the way Bucky looked. He relaxed after a minute and went back to staring at the ceiling.

"T'Challa thinks that I should BARF you," Tony informed him quietly. 

"That's unfortunate," Bucky replied with a disgusted expression, "Doesn't sound all that pleasant for you or me."

Tony looked at him for a second before letting out a small chuckle involuntarily and shaking his head.

"BARF is my tech, yes I know it's a horrible acronym," Tony explained, "it can help you remove your triggers. It works on your hippocampus. That's the -"

"Place where we have our memories, right?" Bucky cut in and looked tensed for a minute, like the words had spilled out of him without control. Tony raised an eyebrow but nodded calmly and relaxed even further.

"A science guy I see," he commented as he continued, "yes, vaguely you're right. BARF works on your memories. It can help you modify them to help you cover your triggers up. It doesn't necessarily erase them but it can stop them from acting as triggers and make them unimportant. It's kind of like a prosthetic memory base."

"Sounds good," Bucky nodded without judgement or excitement and Tony understood that he was sure that he wouldn't get help. It somehow made him feel worse than expected.

"Yes, it is good," he said quietly and went back to the awkward silence that existed between strangers. He noticed the books filling up a whole wall space and looked closer.

"That's a lot of science fiction," he observed loudly and turned his head to look at Bucky, "Catching up with times?"

"Trying to get ahead of it," Bucky shrugged and looked at his bookshelf with a sad smile, "I always liked the future I think. I don't...remember all that well, but I think I always liked the idea of living in the future."

The unsaid line were clear.  _I've been trying to find a good part in the future for over seventy years but it hasn't happened yet_. Tony nodded quietly, knowing that offering any kind of platitudes would be meaningless. 

"They were going to the Bahamas," Tony said after a while, looking at the mauve ceiling, knowing that Bucky was looking at him, "I think it was some kind of compensation from dad for forgetting the last four birthdays of mom."

Bucky didn't comment and simply looked at Tony, knowing that he didn't have anything to contribute to this tale.

"They came home at 3 in the morning," Tony continued quietly, fiddling with his fingers, "it wasn't the first time I had been in a police car but that day...let's just say it was cold. They took us to the morgue after a lot of questioning, mainly to Jarvis. Jarvis was my butler, by the way, really cool guy. Anyway, they asked him a bunch of questions and then we went to the morgue."

Tony paused and keenly looked at his palm, looking like he was trying to decode the mysteries of his life in his hand. Bucky felt uneasy but didn't move away.

"I didn't notice the finger-prints on her neck," Tony said finally and Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat, "I think nobody did. It was an open and shut case I think. That was the term the press used."

Tony didn't say anything further and closed his eyes, looking like he was asleep but both him and Bucky knew that he was trying to control his emotions.

"Howard," Bucky started softly, consciously not using the words 'your dad', "Howard Stark was said to be carrying five vials of super-soldier serum. My mission was to bring them in and destroy any evidence. Even the witnesses."

Tony clenched his jaw and Bucky noticed it but he had to continue. He had to get it all out.

"I didn't recognize him," he said, looking at the wall across him blankly, remembering the video Zemo had shown them, "I didn't recognize any of the targe...people I killed. It wasn't in my orders. My brain, I don't know what it is, what it was, but it didn't think about anything other than the missions. Everything else was wiped."

_Wipe him. Start again._

"It wasn't until Steve that I could fight it," Bucky continued and Tony opened his eyes, "I don't know why, I think it was something to do with him being my strongest memory or something. I knew him. Despite all the wiping, I knew him. Not his name, not who he was. Just him. I knew him."

"That's why you couldn't kill him," Tony muttered softly and Bucky nodded.

"I know you think that's unfair. Sometimes, I think so too," Bucky shrugged bitterly, "I wish I had seen him sooner. I wish he had been my mission earlier. Can you believe it? I actually wish I had been sent to kill my best friend sooner. дерьмо!"

Tony watched as Bucky laughed self-deprecatingly, like a man does before his gallows. He had observed this man for quite some time, watching him interact with people, watching him try to hold on to his dignity and sanity, whatever was left of it. He had watched him stay calm, be sarcastic, be silly, be wise but most of all, he had seen him be human. Despite seventy years of being a monster, of being made into a machine, this guy was human. 

It made Tony feel small about himself and he never liked that feeling. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat.

"I don't forgive you," he said and watched Bucky for any reaction, but the guy simply nodded, like he expected this. It made Tony feel queasy but he pushed on. "I don't forgive you, because I can't unsee what I saw. You're not my parents' murderer technically but you still are the guy I saw killing them. I'm not great enough to forget that all that fast."

Bucky nodded calmly and Tony continued.

"But," he said and Bucky blinked in surprise at the continuation, "I can't ignore the truth as well. This story doesn't have just one side and I'm not as blind as Natasha perceives me to be. I know what it's like to have your mind played with. Okay, that might be an exaggerated comparison because five minutes cannot equal seventy years, but still. I have an idea of what that can be. It was five minutes and it wasn't even a lie, but I still haven't gotten over it. I haven't been able to trust Wanda all that much either. You've got seventy years of backlog. That...that sucks, to be honest. I don't pity you Barnes, I don't think I have that big a heart to pity people when I can't look beyond my own pain. But I can help you. I prefer actions to words, always have."

"You don't have to do this," Bucky said, just to be clear and Tony knew that he wasn't being patronizing. The pale eyes were honest and clear in their meaning. 

"I know," he replied and shrugged, "but I can and I should. Even if just to make good use of my tech. A wasted opportunity is a wasted life. I don't want to waste anything. I made BARF for a reason. If that reason applies to you right now, I want to make good use of it. The tech deserves this chance."

"You deserve this chance," Tony said quietly and firmly. Bucky's eyes widened for a minute before he looked away, swallowing another lump.

"I don't know about that," he said finally and looked back at Tony with clear eyes, "but thanks. Thank you."

Tony nodded and flung his legs back to the ground, sitting up properly.

"Don't thank me, Barnes. Just take advantage of this chance and try," the genius said with a small quirk of his lips. Bucky broke into a small smile at that and nodded.

"So, do you like berries?" Tony asked once that issue was sorted. If Bucky was surprised by the change of topic, he didn't show it.

"I like plums," he said without missing a beat and Tony grinned like it was a good answer.

"Good, good, people don't appreciate berries and plums often," he said and Bucky raised his eyebrow but chuckled and shrugged.

"You like rock music?" Bucky asked, gesturing to the AC/DC t-shirt Tony was wearing. It must have been a good question because Tony's grin widened, like somebody had switched on a light.

"You know AC/DC!" he exclaimed and sat up straighter, "God, you're already so much better than Rogers! Do you know pilates?"

"No," Bucky answered cautiously and saw Tony make a disappointed face before continuing, "but I've heard that it's an exercise. Natasha mentioned it when she suggested squats."

"Hey, see! Good start! You should talk to Natasha more!" Tony agreed brightly before lowering his voice like he was sharing a secret, "but don't talk much to Barton. Everything he recommends is shit. Especially music."

"He recommended that I ask for your playlists," Bucky commented with a smirk and saw Tony blink before looking pleased.

"Listen to Barton. He has good ideas," he corrected himself and Bucky snorted, "Now, do you like real science and tech or are you happy with just fiction?"

"Are you offering a demo? Cause I'd like that," Bucky answered honestly, remembering bits and pieces of an old Stark Expo. Tony looked conflicted for a minute before smiling and nodding amicably.

"You're good people, Barnes. We'll see about that demo later but I can start off by bringing you a StarkPad and phone for starters. Internet is your first step," Tony advised and Bucky knew that Steve would be surprised by this development but he didn't bother much about it. Tony was being loud and brash and normal around him. He would take that gladly.

"When do we start?" he asked as a reply and Tony grinned mischievously, like he had found himself a new pet project.

They spoke about random things and subjects for a while, Bucky countering Tony's wild ideas with wilder ideas of his own. Tony slowly lost his nervousness and was soon vibrating in his place with mad excitement, rudely flipping Bucky the bird when he made some sarcastic comment. 

It was nothing like Bucky's expectations. It was everything he liked. 

Things weren't made personal and they never touched the past topics. Bucky was fine with that and Tony didn't seem to push it either. Maybe he didn't want to bring up the dead from their bloody graves either. Whatever the reason, Bucky found himself talking fluently and easily with the mad guy whose parents he had killed. No, scratch that. He felt happy talking to Tony Stark, not Howard's son Tony. 

When it was finally time for Tony to leave, he had a list of things he demanded Bucky try. Bucky was okay with them all, vetoing only the dangerous ones he  _knew_ Tony said only to annoy Steve when he found out. 

"Hey," Bucky called out as Tony was about to leave, "next time maybe you should just come in, instead of watching me from outside."

Tony smirked and huffed but nodded. He was about to leave when he paused and turned around, hesitating at first but pulling on a small smile later.

"If he had known you were alive, he would have looked for you too, you know?" he said simply and Bucky didn't need to ask who 'he' was.

"Might not have been worth it," he said with a small shrug. Tony considered it and nodded.

"Maybe," he agreed before adding, "but he still would have. And maybe it is worth it now."

Bucky didn't comment on that and watched as Tony left the room, calling out instructions to the invisible Friday. He still didn't believe he was worth it, but he did feel like the future was not all that worthless.

****************

** Precap: **

"Plums," Natasha repeated, just to be sure.

Tony nodded absent-mindedly, fingers flying on his StarkPad.

"Yeah, plums, he likes them," he said with a shrug, "they're good for his memory. He likes chocolate too. Don't take flowers though, I think he has some bad memories with them. Didn't like the lilies last time."

Sam opened his mouth and shut it, looking at Natasha who looked a bit shocked herself. Steve broke out of his stunned silence and found his voice in the meanwhile.

"Are you dating Bucky?" he blurted out, a tad louder than his normal voice and everybody turned to look at him. Even Tony looked up from his work and gave him a look.

"Why? Jealous?" he asked instead of replying and Clint was sure Steve was swallowing his tongue to look this red.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! This became longer than I expected! Sorry if it got boring :P Please do leave your feedback? <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became a super long chapter with a little less Stony than before. I'll compensate in the next chapter. Please do enjoy and leave your feedback <3

The problem with restlessness is that it has no cure. Probably due to the fact that it isn't a disease or a condition; it is a part of the human brain, an itch that rises when stable matter gets jolted. It is a rash that appears when your favorite jeans chaffs on your skin in summer. You cannot throw it away, because you need it, just like you need familiarity. But you also cannot stop the itch because that is the only way you can hold on to your stability. Restlessness was pain that held the broken bones together. 

To Wanda, it was the way she could refrain from destroying the world.

She didn't know when it started, this urge to drown out silence with noise that hurt. Maybe it was when she first saw wooden blocks crumble under red sparks. Maybe it was when her brother had more bullets lodged in him than he had life. Or maybe it was when she had been made to realize why she couldn't control fear - hers or theirs. Fear was her trademark, it was her calling card now. She was the red before death and destruction to people, even if she could be the crimson of birth. It didn't matter to them, not as long as they still had her past in their eyes.

So when they had gotten the opportunity to return the favor, they had done so by showing her their fear. A collar and a jacket. Slavery of the enslaver.

"That seems to be an unfortunate way to drink," a voice said from behind her and she broke out of her thoughts, remembering that she was in her room and not the prison.

"Yes, well, sometimes in life your hands are tied," she replied without moving her eyes from the TV, where a woman was trying to drink shots with her hands tied at her back. Reality television was the kind of mindless drivel that usually kept the restlessness buried under disgust or amusement. "You used the door this time. Good job."

Vision never really laughed at sarcasm, probably because he was yet to understand it all that well, but he also didn't take offence so it was alright. He simply walked forward quietly and gracefully sat on the bed beside Wanda, watching the TV.

"Is she winning?" Vision asked quietly, in that child-like curious voice of his. Wanda shook her head and quirked her lips an inch at the irony. Hands tied, trying hard, failing - sounded so familiar.

"No, she isn't. She never will," Wanda muttered softly and Vision nodded, not calling out the hidden meaning in it. They sat in silence, watching the inane show and the commercials flitting in between. 

Wanda liked Vision, she probably did ever since she met him. He possessed one value nobody else did - honesty. True honesty, the one that didn't yield to fear or discomfort. It may have helped that he wasn't human, he didn't have anything to lose or gain through lies and secrets. As Avengers, the time before they were torn apart like a card house in a storm, she had been a recluse and he a student. She didn't have anything left to lose and he couldn't get enough to gain. Somehow, despite their differences and dysfunctions, Wanda had assumed the role of his teacher. She tried teaching him about people, their codes, the rules of living in a society, the power of emotions, the weakness of them, everything that he couldn't learn through his coding. In return, she had learnt about the simplicity in truth, the beauty of peace in chaos, the acceptance of ignorance and the will for knowledge. They had become friends in loss and gain, partners in humanity and more. 

Till she had sensed him edging for something more. Till she had thought about it herself. Before it had ended before growing.

"Did it hurt?" she asked quietly and Vision tilted his head to look at her, even as she kept her eyes trained on the TV, "The stone in your head, did it hurt when I used the power on you?"

"It...didn't feel in control," Vision admitted and Wanda nodded quietly, knowing that Vision would have never done that to her, even if he did think it wiser to take her decisions for her. It had been insulting and she was hurt but she had hurt him equally. When Rhodey had turned the sonic blaster on her during the fight and she had collapsed, Vision had been the one to come to her aid. Wanda sometimes wondered if he even knew the meaning of holding grudges. She found that she was glad he didn't, because they already had a lot of people who held grudges marvelously enough. 

"I'm sorry about Rhodey," she said after a while, turning her head slightly to look at the android, "In all that happened, despite whatever we intended, this was something that has no compensation. I'm sorry it happened."

"You are apologizing to the wrong person," Vision said immediately, his voice calm but tone firm, "I am not the one who has suffered."

"Is that why you feel guilty all the time?" Wanda countered quietly, "Is guilt not suffering? Viz, I can feel your vibes all the time. The amount of torture you put yourself through in your head is more than anyone can take and remain sane. I know something about that, trust me. Guilt...it destroys more than building."

Vision didn't reply and opted to watch the show progress in silence. Wanda didn't push him either and kept her own quiet.

"Steve Rogers called you a kid," he said after a long pause and Wanda snapped her head to the side, frowning at him, "I was watching a recording of the last civil conversation Mr.Stark and Captain Rogers had, at the HQ. The Captain disagreed with the Accords and refused to comply but somehow Mr. Stark had managed to get him to try. There was manipulation, don't get me wrong, it wasn't an honest proposal or acceptance. Tony has always been good at coaxing people, with his charms, wit and logic. I believe the pen was a medium to try and find a medium ground. I am not sure though. But Captain Rogers did agree to try after a while, albeit with the promise of changes and alterations to the original document."

"I didn't know that," Wanda mused thoughtfully, running possibilities of 'what if's in her head. She knew that Steve and Tony wouldn't have had it easy, there wouldn't have been agreement on much, but the very idea that Steve might have agreed to the Accords bring in a new light. An alternate line of chance.

"Yes, I don't believe both of them would like to talk about it," Vision observed in the detached voice of his, "There seems to be a lot they wouldn't want the world to know, just as there is much the world doesn't want to know about them either. Either way, there was a moment where things seemed plausible. Peaceful."

"What changed?" Wanda asked, sensing hesitation on Vision's part, like he was debating how to word the next sentence.

"You," Vision said bluntly and Wanda reared back like he had slapped her. Vision didn't look at her, still focused on the TV where a new woman seems to be struggling against her bonds.

"Tony mentioned you, your...house arrest," Vision continued, mouthing the last two words with distaste that an android shouldn't be able to afford, "It made the difference."

Wanda remained silent, registering the four words.  _It made the difference_. The feel of a collar around her neck returned, choking her and reminding her of fear. Of powerlessness. Of slavery. She wanted to lash back and her hands sparked.

"You might want to choose someone else to play the blame game, Viz," she warned quietly, civil but cautious, "I wasn't a pawn in either Steve or Tony's game. Not intentionally."

"I know," Vision said and she raised an eyebrow when he finally turned to look at her calmly, "None of us were supposed to be. Especially not you."

Wanda opens her mouth and shuts it because in anybody else's mouth those words would have been patronizing. But Vision doesn't patronize. She  _knows_ that he doesn't. He asks, he listens, he observes, he makes cold choices, he decides and a lot more but he doesn't patronize. 

Sometimes she wishes he would do it, just to not be cold. Sometimes she feels thankful that he won't.

She keep her silence, letting him speak. If he crossed a line she had learnt to cross her own.

"Would you want to hear any further?" he asked quietly, sensing her muted rage. Wanda didn't answer but went on the switch off the TV, a small hint that she would listen. Vision nodded and continued.

"Tony mentioned you and Steve pushed back," Vision said plainly, "It was a little like watching parents deciding what is best for their child."

"That's an imagery I won't forget," Wanda muttered and Vision smiled genially.

"Yes it is, isn't it," he commented before looking away and continuing, "though to be honest, they have always tried to play that part, haven't they? It has always been a case of them deciding and us following. I believe the right term would be 'dysfunctional family', wouldn't it?"

Vision hums to himself, a small sound of agreement to his own strange joke and Wanda watches his profile, a strangeness of calm and knowledge stuck in the mess of personal issues.

"I don't know what to understand in two statements, Wanda" he said curiously and Wanda found herself back in the role of the teacher, a confused one, "Captain Rogers called you a kid. He said that you were a kid and that you deserved the right to choose. Tony said that he was keeping you safe and that you were a danger. By Captain Rogers' logic, you need supervision because you are a child but you also need to be asked how to supervise you since you should be given the choice. By Tony's logic, you need to be kept safe but people also need to be kept safe from you because you pose a danger to them. What do these mean? They do not make any sense by word and are quite contradicting."

Wanda can feel the power surging through her, her fingers sparking longer. She has never been good at naming emotions but this, whatever this is that courses through her, it is stronger than anger.  _Disgust_ her mind supplies and she latches on to it. She feels disgusted at the territorial claim people have tried placing on her. Steve, Tony, sometimes even Clint, every single one of them have played her like she was theirs. Like she was a doll to preserve or fear or safeguard. She knows, she knows deep down that she is powerful, uncontrollably powerful at times. But does that make her theirs? Does that make her a chess piece to save or play? 

"It means that they didn't wish to ask me what I wanted," she said quietly, muted rage spitting venom in her voice.

"Did you know what you wanted, Wanda?" Vision asks and Wanda glares at him.

"I never wanted to be controlled, Vision," she spits because she would rather hurt through words than her magic. She truly didn't want to hurt Vision but he was the only one who was here and she felt good letting her restlessness rear its head up for a while, "I never wanted to be an Avenger. I never wanted to destroy the world or be its guardian. I wanted to help, I wanted to keep the innocent safe. But that didn't happen. It never happens. At Lagos..." she chokes up a little because she hasn't spoken about that in so long and Vision isn't stopping her, "In Lagos, I thought I was saving and I ended up killing. With these hands, these very hands Viz, I killed people. Mothers, friends, children waiting for a future. I ripped them up, because I thought I was taking the right decision. I couldn't let Steve die, I couldn't let the mission die so I took a decision and I ruined it. Is that what you want to hear? You want to hear me say that I ruin things? That I am the reason this happened? That I cause destruction? Yes, Vision, there's your answer. I destroy. That's my power. All I wanted to do was to save my people and all I do now is destroy them. That's what you wanted to hear, right?"

Vision simply looked at her, electric blue eyes staring into her soul and Wanda blinked, breathing hard to realize that she had conjured a ball of red energy in her hand. She was back at it, destruction. The fight drained out of her at that and she slumped back against the couch.

"What do you want, Viz?" she asked tiredly, burying her face in her hands.

"I want to understand you," Vision said softly, "And I want to apologize."

Wanda stilled at that and looked up slowly, eyes suspicious.

"I should not have tried to take your decision for you, Wanda," Vision said quietly, stating a fact, "I believe if I hadn't done it, if that variable had been removed from the disastrous equation, then maybe you would have had a better vision. I realize that now and I apologize."

It is simple. No excuses, no explanations, just an apology. Wanda doesn't relax but does lower her hands and breathes deep. Better people had mucked up something as simple as this and here was Vision, doing it in his own blunt way. She decided to take it.

"What do you want to understand?" she asked instead of acknowledging the apology. She knew that he knew she wouldn't speak unless she had accepted it.

"Did you know what you wanted?" he asked again and Wanda frowned but Vision continued, "I have been thinking about this for a while now. This fight, this entire issue, it began with the Accords did it not? And yet somehow, none of us fought for it. We never got around to discussing it, not completely. Tony fought to keep the Avengers together, Natasha fought to keep the Avengers from becoming criminals, Steve fought to keep Bucky safe, Clint fought to repay his debt to you, I fought to keep accountability strong, King T'Challa fought for vengeance, Scott Lang and Spiderman...they fought for their idols. It seems to me that nobody fought for the Accords, none other than James Rhodes. Why did you fight, Wanda?"

"To help Steve get Zemo," she replies easily, a tad too quick and Vision smiles serenely, the way he does when he has a strong point. 

"Wanda, you are better than lies," he says calmly and she bristles.

"If you're going to play games with me, then you should leave," she says but Vision simply continues to look at her.

"I am not playing anything. I am simply giving you the choice," he replied softly and she swallows thickly, "Your opinion matters. Your reasons matter. If you are willing, I would like to understand them."

"But not respect them, right?" she snaps but then waves her hand, knowing that squabbling would lead nowhere. She is tired. Tired of silence, tired of having to keep it all in. Nobody asks her anything and here Vision was asking her. Even if he wouldn't understand, she was grasping at edges, because somebody was asking. Taking a slow breath she began speaking again.

"I was angry," she admitted, keeping her head up but closing her eyes, trying to find the point of calm that would allow these words, "I felt trapped and...I have felt that before. At Hydra, with Strucker. We volunteered for that, everybody knows that we did. But what people forget, or I guess what people don't want to see, is that we were children. Angry children, lost and hopeless. It doesn't make a very good excuse but it's the one I have. With Strucker, we had protection. Strength, promise of power and a purpose. But in reality, we were trapped. It was a luxurious slavery. Pietro...him and me, we did things we should have fought against. But we did it and...it felt like freedom, a respite from our voluntary enslavement. When you told me that I should stay here instead of going out, I was back to that. Back to being a voluntary slave."

She paused and looked at her fingers, dancing weapons of power.

"When Clint came back, I saw an escape," she continued softly, "Clint and me, we share a part of history. He means more than a team-mate to me. He isn't Pietro, but he is...family, I guess. When he came for me, I didn't have any reason to stay back. Call it temptation, call it selfishness, call it whatever you will, but I wanted out. It didn't matter if I was going to save wildlife in Africa or catch a man in Siberia. I had a purpose. That means a lot to me, Viz. In here I was trapped. And I thought out there I could be free."

Wanda laughed bitterly at that and Vision finally found it in him to turn completely, facing her.

"Guess that turned out really well," she sighed and looked up to look at him, "I know we screwed up, Viz. I know that. Everyone, all of us messed up. I wish I could tell you that I was sorry for running away. I really wish I could feel that way but I can't. I don't know how to take back the hurt I inflicted on everyone but I can't-I don't want to be trapped, Viz. I don't want to be that. I can't go back to being that. I can't live like that. Please, please understand me."

She didn't know why she was crying but suddenly it seemed too much to keep it all in. Sokovia, Pietro, Lagos, the Raft, everything hurt. Everything came barreling into her and she couldn't stop the silent tears. Vision, to his credit, didn't try to console her, simply staying silent as she took her time. She needed time and Vision let her take it all she wanted.

"People don't hate you, Wanda," he spoke after a while and Wanda scoffed with a watery choke but he smiled sadly and continued, "People who matter, they don't. I don't think they understand you but they don't hate you. I believe, they think... _we_ think that we are protecting you when we keep you with us. Before our eyes. We... _I_ don't do that because you are dangerous or need to be controlled. You are right, we cannot control people's fear. But we can try to understand them."

"Is that what you're doing now?" she asked quietly, wiping at her eyes, "Understanding me?"

Vision looked at her, through her, for a moment before shrugging.

"I believe I am trying," he said finally, offering that small olive branch. Wanda didn't speak, looking back at Vision for a minute before taking a calming breath and switching the TV back on.

"I believe you're trying too," she said softly, looking at the woman who had failed earlier now succeeding in taking the shot with her hands tied.

"Maybe some day win too," Vision chimed, looking at the TV too, like he was talking to that woman and not the one sitting beside him.

They sat and watched the show for a while, letting the noise soothe their broken silence. As Vision got up and left after a while, offering her a small nod, Wanda felt her restlessness dim to the background a bit.

Maybe she could try too, she thought tiredly but with a flicker of hope.

************

Natasha had never claimed to be brave. No, don't misunderstand her, she was bold, sometimes more than necessary. But brave? That wasn't an adjective she usually attached to herself, no matter how many times Nick Fury had hinted that she was. She didn't want to be brave, to be honest. Bravery required putting her own life below others'. Natasha was willing and beyond to save people, to put their lives on a high alert, but she was also self-aware enough to know that she was selfish. She wasn't suicidal, no matter what she had told Steve on the floating city of Sokovia. 

So to be honest to herself, she knew she wasn't brave. She was clever though, sometimes a little too much for her own good. Right now, standing in front of a closed door, debating her sanity for risking this. This window into her past. Something she tried hard to keep contained usually. But seeing Tony do it, face  _him_ and seeing Clint try to solve his problems with Laura had given her a moment to ponder. She didn't owe him anything, she knew that. Neither did he owe her something. They had no reason to scratch at the wound, to revisit a part of their lives they both treaded carefully around. 

And yet. Yet, she was here. Fist raised to knock on the door. To tempt fate and doom.

To meet James Buchanan Barnes. To meet the Winter Soldier. To meet Yasha.

Her fist drummed on the door thrice, simple and smart in its sound. There was silence on the other side, a reminder of snow and frozen lakes. And then the door opened with a click. 

To grey eyes that saw too little and knew too much.

When grey eyes stared back at green, Natasha felt her resolve weaken. Why was she here? What did she hope to achieve from this? Closure? That was for those who began something, wasn't it? That was for lovers. The man in front of her, he wasn't that. He was something else, something...different. But what was she going to do with different? She shouldn't have come. She shouldn't be doing this -

"Natasha?" Bucky said softly, a hesitant and confused smile on his lips and she felt her thoughts crash to a stop. Natasha not Natalia. Bucky not Yasha.

"Hello, James," she murmured and he looked a bit uncomfortable but she cleared her throat and continued with a polite smile, "Sorry, _Bucky_."

"Hi," he replied and then looked uncomfortable again, probably wondering what to say next. Natasha could relate to that. She didn't know what to say now either.

"Come in?" he asked hesitantly and she breathed out, in an unknown relief before nodding. Bucky moved back and she entered the simple room, all muted mauve, wood and hearth. A complete contrast to the cold of Russia and its familiarity. 

"Nice place you've got," she observed and Bucky looked surprised but shrugged lightly.

"I'd offer something to drink but seeing as I don't have anything...water?" he asked with a small quirk of his lips and Natasha had an insane urge to push it back to its stoic. A stance she was familiar with, sometimes even comfortable with. She opted to shake her head though, refusing any efforts at hospitality as they came to stand in the living room with its single couch and chair, apart from a wall of books.

Bucky gestured towards the couch before sitting down in the chair himself. Natasha sank into the soft material with practiced ease. And then proceeded to feel out of sorts. She was excellent at silence, a firm believer in it too. But silence with Bucky Barnes staring at her was proving to be prickly. Like a butterfly baiting a cat.

"So," she asked finally, grasping at topics before the first one slipped out her mouth, "how's your arm?"

Bucky stilled for a second before narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Non-existent," he drawled making Natasha raise an eyebrow, "How's your...oh wait, you have all your limbs."

 She should have been offended at the sarcastic throw of an answer but it somehow made her relax. Shaking her head she leaned back and smirked.

"You've been talking to the Shwins," she commented and Bucky frowned curiously.

"Shwins?"

"Shit Twins, Clint and Tony," Natasha elaborated with a casual shrug and Bucky rolled his eyes, "Sam escaped forming the triad by an inch. Looks like you're poised to join though."

"It's good company," Bucky quipped and Natasha scoffed lightly but smiled when she realized that this meant that Clint and Tony were treating him normally. 

"How's BARF coming?" she asked and Bucky nodded vaguely, wiping his hands on his jeans in a tell-tale gesture of nervousness.

"Apart from the crummy acronym, it's not bad," he said and she chuckled lowly.

"Yes, well, Tony has a real penchant for acronyms," she said in a fond voice, remembering earlier disasters he had come up with, "this one's not so bad considering the predecessors."

Bucky raised his eyebrow and a mischievous glint entered his eyes hesitantly.

"You should ask Steve," she said with an eye-roll that had Bucky grinning slyly, "the ones he had to reject when Tony was on a roll to rename Avengers were truly epic."

"Now you're giving me ideas," Bucky commented with a smirk and Natasha raised her own eyebrow in challenge.

"I'm pretty sure you can't beat Tony," she said calmly before going for the kicker, "Protectors In Solidarity Society was a highlight of Steve's week in the beginning."

Bucky put together the acronym and chuckled, ducking his head and rubbing at his nose.

"Actually, it would have been nice," he laughed, shrugging when Natasha frowned, "Your war cry would have been epic. PISS off? Worth it, I tell you."

Natasha stared at Bucky in horror for a minute before sighing to herself and shaking her head, with a soft smile nonetheless.

"Terrible influence, both of them," she said and Bucky grinned. They smiled at each other before the silence set in again. Bucky broke the glance first, looking at the coffee table to compose himself before looking back at her.

"Who else visits?" she asked before he could say anything. She could see him open his mouth and close it before clearing his throat.

"Stevie's here most of the time," he said casually, "Sam pops in once in a while."

Natasha nodded and looked away, finding the bookshelf more interesting than the awkward silence.

"I..." Bucky started and Natasha stilled but made herself look at him, "I wanted to thank you."

When she frowned at that, he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sadly.

"For, uh, letting us go," he said quietly and she understood, remembering the moment she had betrayed T'Challa to save Steve and Bucky.

"Steve's a good friend," she replied with a small shrug, choosing her words well, "He would have done the same for me."

"Would he?" Bucky asked before he could stop himself and then looked down, as though ashamed of the very thought of questioning Steve. Natasha let her thoughts gather, remembering the events that led them here. Would he? That...was a good question. But she didn't know if it had a good answer.

"He would try," she said, probably failing to keep the skepticism out of her voice. Bucky didn't react though, simply nodding and remaining silent.

"You, uh, what you said," Bucky started again and Natasha looked back at him, her poker face on, "when I ...when I attacked you?"

When she didn't rise to the bait, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"You asked me if I remember you," he said quietly and Natasha swallowed silently, "If I remember us."

"Actually," she said quietly, clearing the choke of her voice before continuing, "I said you could at least remember me."

"There's a difference?" he asked sharply, his expression of regret showing that he hadn't meant to be so sharp.

"I'd like to think so," she answered nonetheless and paused before continuing, "I mean, people do remember people they shoot, right?"

Bucky inhaled sharply at that, eyes flashing for a minute before considering Natasha's cool poker face with intent eyes. He could see, she knew he could see that she was consciously denying the other meaning of that sentence. The past they were both aware and awkward about. His eyes searched her face for something, for an entire minute maybe, before the fire disappeared from his eyes and he dropped them back to the coffee table.

"Yeah, maybe they do," he concurred and Natasha remembered why she didn't aspire to be brave. They sat in silence, him staring at the table and her looking all around the room. Thankfully, her phone rang after a while and she flipped it out with more enthusiasm than ever.

"What is it, Tony?" she asked and pursed her lips at the information from the other side, "Okay. No, no I don't. Yes, I'll tell him. Okay. Sure, fine. Hmm? Hmm, yes, because that solves everything, doesn't it? Alright, alright, I won't. Yeah, bye."

"Trouble?" Bucky asked with thinly veiled doubt and Natasha made a vague nod.

"Being handled," she said simply before sliding off the couch and standing up lithely, "I should go now. Duty calls."

Bucky nodded but smirked tightly.

"That line is kinda old now," he said as he got up himself to see her out. Natasha smiled at that before nodding and heading out. As she crossed the threshold and was about to stalk down the corridor, she heard Bucky call her one last time.

"Natasha!" he called and she paused, turning her head to see him. Looking hesitant, he tried for a small smile and shot her a small salute, "Удачи!"

Natasha felt her brain pause at the familiar word but nodded tightly and set off. It was only when she had entered the elevator that she let out her breath and swallowed dryly.

"Удачи Yasha," she whispered with a sad smile into the empty elevator and steeled herself for her next job.

The past would not be wise to smear the present, she decided.

***********

Natasha entered the common floor to Scott's voice sagely proclaiming something.

“Friends are like apples, Wilson”

“I don’t like this analogy already,” Sam sighed but Scott continued undeterred.

“The good ones keep the doctor away. The rotten ones stink,” Scott declared and looked into the distance dramatically.

“Anybody else thinks Lang’s a nut case?” Clint asked from table and Scott shrugged when all of them raised their hands.

Steve was sitting on the ottoman, one leg up and an elbow resting on the raised leg, shaking his head at the team's antics but discreetly shooting Tony furtive glances. The genius himself was sitting draped over a lounge sette, brow furrowed as he was busy typing away into his tablet.

"Hey Tasha!" Clint called out and Natasha looked over at him waving at her like a loon. She rolled her eyes but went forward and slipped into the spot next to him anyway, purposely jarring his knee with her elbow as she sat.

"Hey, you missed an important discussion," Scott informed her sarcastically, eyeing Sam with his stink-eye and she raised an eyebrow. Clint snorted and made a cuckoo gesture at his temple.

"Ignore him, he's an infant," Sam told her with a suffering sigh before leaning back against the couch and frowning slightly, "Where were you? We didn't see you for a while."

"Keeping track, Falcon?" she asked with an arched eyebrow and he winked at her smugly, eliciting an eye-roll from her, "I was just checking up on Bucky."

"Barnes?" Clint asked from beside her, looking curious, "Well that's new. What's the occasion?"

"Just making sure he wasn't getting rotten with the Shwins," she quipped back with a mock glare and Clint shot her a shit-eating grin.

"Aww, you care," he cooed and she pinched him on his arm.

"I am concerned about us normal people, that's all," she replied primly and turned to look at Steve, who was looking at her thoughtfully, "He's kind of low on snacks and stock, don't you think? He offered me water when I went."

Steve frowned before nodding slowly. "Yes, well, I'm not sure if his tastes are the same even now," he said with a pained shrug, "I got him some things he liked...before...and he kind of looked uncomfortable with them. Maybe I'll just ask him outright."

"Yeah, I mean, at least some fruits," Sam said with a pointed look at Scott who shrugged casually.

"Plums"

Natasha turned to the source of the voice and knew that Steve was doing the same. Tony didn't seem to be mentally present in the room but he was definitely the one who had just spoken.

"Plums," Natasha repeated, just to be sure.

Tony nodded absent-mindedly, fingers flying on his StarkPad.

"Yeah, plums, he likes them," he said with a shrug, "they're good for his memory. He likes chocolate too. Don't take flowers though, I think he has some bad memories with them. Didn't like the lilies last time."

Sam opened his mouth and shut it, looking at Natasha who looked a bit shocked herself. Steve broke out of his stunned silence and found his voice in the meanwhile.

"Are you dating Bucky?" he blurted out, a tad louder than his normal voice and everybody turned to look at him. Even Tony looked up from his work and gave him a look.

"Why? Jealous?" he asked instead of replying and Clint was sure Steve was swallowing his tongue to look this red.

"Of him? No," Steve said with a huff and Tony raised an eyebrow sardonically.

"Hmmm," he hummed with judgemental eyes, even as Steve realized that he had again put his foot in his mouth, but then Tony was getting up from the lounge and slightly stretching his back.

"Ross is calling us in," he said as he straightened his cuffs and dusted imaginary lint of his shirt, "Says he wants to discuss some security concerns."

"The Secretary is calling us in?" Sam asked suspiciously and Tony frowned before shaking his head and pointing at Steve.

"Him and me. And not Thaddeus Ross, Everett Ross," he clarified and looked at Natasha, "I'm not sure what he's playing at but I need you to keep Bruce off the radar. Just in case the other Ross makes some move."

Natasha had a million questions on the tip of her tongue but opted to nod instead. Time was valuable right now.

"Did he say what he wants?" Steve asked even as he got up and pulled at his turtleneck to straighten it.

"Sometimes people don't tell me things," Tony said sarcastically and rolled his eyes before picking up his jacket from nearby, "you coming or not?"

Steve grit his jaw but breathed in and nodded, walking beside Tony as they left for the HQ.

"Think they'll ever talk normally?" Scott asked quietly as everyone watched them walk out.

Sam huffed and eyed Scott tiredly.

"If you think Steve Rogers and Tony Stark have ever talked normally, you clearly don't know them," he said and Scott raised an eyebrow but went back to observing the ex-co captains leaving together.

He clearly needed to know more about this new 'team' he was getting involved in, he thought to himself.

 **Precap** :

“I don’t like it,” Steve muttered as he watched Everett Ross walk away with a smug gait.

“I’ll add it to your infinite list,” Tony quipped and tapped Steve’s shoulder before gesturing that they should leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Wanda/Vision in my life,  
> a little bit of Nat/Bucky by my side,  
> a little bit of angst is all I need,  
> a little bit of Ross is all I see,  
> a little bit of plot-points in the sun,  
> a little bit of Stony all night long,  
> a little bit of Scott Clint here I am,  
> a little bit of review makes me your fan ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to add more Steve POVs from the next chapter because I think I'm not throwing enough light on his psyche. Have fun and remember that the points told by the characters are written by me but thought of keeping their stands & history in mind. No bashing please! <3

 The meeting turns out to be a disaster. Steve isn't really surprised by that.

Well, maybe he was surprised by some parts of it. Though surprised might be a wrong word to use. Shaken might be better.

_"Follow me, Mr. Stark," Everett called out as soon as Steve and Tony entered the main floor of the HQ, "Captain, you'll be meeting with another representative. Room 112B."_

_"Uh, why?" Tony asked immediately, looking from above his sunglasses, subtly gesturing for Steve to wait, "You asked for both of us to come. We're here. Now both of us should be briefed together."_

_The look on Everett's face suggested very unflattering things about Tony's intelligence but he was much too professional to say it out loud._

_"This isn't a trial or detention, Mr. Stark. We simply have different matters to discuss with both of you."_

_"So no ultimatums or irreversible decisions forced on us?" Tony asked casually and Steve stood his ground when Ross' eyes fell on him with a weary sigh._

_"No, not today."_

_“I don’t like it,” Steve muttered as he watched Everett Ross walk away with a smug gait._

_“I’ll add it to your infinite list,” Tony quipped and tapped Steve’s shoulder before gesturing that they should leave._

They ended up going to meet separate people. Tony apparently had to talk and discuss a lot of concerns about the Raft and issue declarations about Thaddeus Ross' involvement in it.

Steve got to meet T'Challa. It's the kind of meeting that you think will be between friends and ends up being a polite pull of the carpet beneath your feet. Steve almost doesn't remember most of their talk but he cannot forget the part that hit him the hardest.

_"You have not yet signed the Accords," T'Challa stated. He didn't ask or confirm, he simply stated it as a fact. Steve had never learnt to look away and so simply stared back at the king and nodded._

_"Yes." Steve thought about leaving it there but he did owe the man a lot, probably more than he deserved sometimes, "I don't agree with an organization binding me to its interests that may clash with the need of the people. I can't sit back and watch if they decide to not send us to a place where we are needed. "_

_"You speak of the old Accords. The one before Mr. Barnes was given a second chance," T'Challa observed and Steve could pick up on the wording._

_"The crux of the matter hasn't changed much"_

_T'Challa simply stared at him over his steepled fingers before leaning back and smiling a bit._

_"How is your team?" he asked out of the blue and Steve blinked once before taking it in his stride._

_"They're rebuilding," Steve relaxed his shoulders a bit and T'Challa nodded in acceptance._

_"And how are you rebuilding with that? With Mr. Stark?"_

_"Tony's here. Maybe you could meet him after this."_

Steve hadn't intended to be evasive but he didn't really have an answer for questions he hadn't begun addressing. Thankfully, T'Challa had turned the subject to Bucky and T'Chaka and peace. Steve had always prided on being good at identifying subtle manipulation but he had never been prepared for that from the Wakandan King. He didn't even know when they had started talking about lost chances and past lives. He didn't catch himself before he echoed the quote Sharon had given during Peggy's funeral. The one Peggy had told her niece.

_"It is an inspiring statement," T'Challa mused and Steve nodded absently, not prepared for the next line, "but you must excuse me for thinking that it was misguided for you."_

_"What?"_

_"The quote, it speaks of compromising at first, where you can, does it not?"_

_"It also speaks of not yielding to the majority when wrong is yelled as right."_

_"Yes, of course," T'Challa nodded before leaning forward and catching Steve's eyes with a penetrating look, "but who defines what is right here?"_

_When Steve tried to come up with a suitable answer T'Challa simply continued._

_"Do not mistake my curiosity for interference, Captain. I simply wish to clarify certain points that have been plaguing my mind ever since I realized my fault of wrongly judging Mr. Barnes," T'Challa explained and looked at the door beyond Steve thoughtfully, "My father was always an advocate of justice, respect and peace. My reticence in these matters was acceptable till he wore the royal crown. Since his absence began, I have been awakened to matters that I simply overlooked in my thirst for vengeance. The Accords, Captain, seem like a double-edged sword. But I wonder, was it truly rigid for you and your team of Avengers?"_

_"Well, they put half my team in the Raft for not complying, so I am guessing that it was," Steve answered wryly and T'Challa raised an eyebrow._

_"And was that truly unexpected for you? Was there no way you could have avoided that and yet held on to your core beliefs?"_

_"We are not criminals, Your Highness. The Raft...it isn't meant for people who -"_

_"Yes, yes, I understand," T'Challa nodded a bit impatiently before getting it under control, "But tell me Captain, did you have a choice? A choice to change the course of all these events you loathe?"_

Steve had opened his mouth to say no, he really had. But Tony's voice telling him that they could change this if they were all together, Nat's voice telling them that they could steer this through if they didn't split up, if they signed for then - something about those voices stopped him. T'Challa graciously simply let that silence slide.

He however did make a parting shot as Steve left his presence.

_"Trees are beautiful creations of Nature, Captain. They nurture, protect and yield sustenance to the world. But when a storm comes and the soil is giving way, a stubborn tree gets uprooted, destroying all life that lives on it or lives by it. A relatively yielding tree would survive better. The world will keep moving, Captain, but maybe it is time we moved along and then left our changes with its pace."_

_"Laws can be changed and can be broken. But they must never be taken without respect. It is better to fight an unjust law with law than with further injustice."_

Steve hadn't spoken a word to him after that and had taken his leave. Tony had been held for another five minutes in his meeting, before he came along too. Now, as they both drove back home, Steve was a mess of contexts and confusion. He let his mind wander to the present rather than the past and observed the man behind the wheel.

Tony liked driving, despite whatever popular myths urban legends may have spread about him. He had always been interested in cars, their power thrumming beneath his hands, the knowledge that he is in control of something dangerous enough to kill him if he misses an inch of that control. It is exhilarating. It is exhausting.

Tony loves it. Steve knows it.

He also knows that the man sitting next to him firmly prefers two wheelers over four wheels. If given a choice, Steve Rogers would spend his entire time riding the monstrosity. Something in Tony's instinct tells him that there is a story behind this blatant love affair between bikes and the blond, but he doesn't pursue that direction. He doesn't even look in that direction, not at Steve who is sitting two feet away from him as they drive towards the HQ.

Silence has never been his friend but at a time when Tony has very few friends in totality, he's willing to try. He isn't going to invite trouble. He isn't going to say anything.

"So why aren't you and Bucky back to being inseparable twins yet?" oh yes, now he remembered why Tony and silence never got along. But the words were out and Tony never backed down from stupidity, so he forced himself to relax and chanced a look at the other guy.

Who was ramrod straight and Steve was inches away from throwing the door open and jumping out the running car.

"If you jump out, can you please admit it to being a suicide attempt when they sue me for trying to kill you?" Tony asks casually, tipping his head back a bit, letting the wind brush back his wild hair and consciously not looking at Steve, "I'll have a hard time convincing them otherwise."

Steve doesn't reply, because Steve and silence are best buddies, especially when Tony is involved. 

"Do you think Laura will file for divorce now or after a few months?" Tony continues with his questions, carrying the conversation one-sided, "Think they'll have a struggle about custody of the brats?"

No answer from the other side but Steve knows that Tony hears the slight creak of metal and glances to see a white-knuckled grip on the door's panel. He chose to ignore it. Picking battles was imperative when you had too many things to fight about.

"You were better at this before," Steve says after a while and Tony raises an eyebrow, side-eyeing the super soldier who still looks rigid but isn't cracking doors open yet.

"Better at what?"

"Provoking me," Steve replies blandly and wow, okay, Tony has to look over at him for that.

"Yeah? Well, I'll practice better," Tony shrugged and Steve surprisingly relaxed at that, definitely making absolutely no sense to Tony.

"You're the only one who does that," Steve mused calmly and Tony frowned, raising an eyebrow quickly at the super soldier who was leaning back into his seat, "People don't provoke me quite often."

"Is this your version of crazy speak?" Tony asked in surprise and didn't get any response, predictably. Tony was used to riling Steve in the past. It was a favor Steve returned generously, holding the record for the only person who could make Tony lose his mind easily. It was in good fun before, banter most likely. Now though, Steve didn't know where banter ended and mud-slinging began. He was trying really hard to restrain himself and he knew, he knew with clarity, that Tony was trying on his part too. But it didn't make things easier.

They didn't speak after that, both men focusing on the road ahead instead of the dirt behind. Tony kept sneaking glances at Steve but the Captain was gazing outside the window blankly, in an eerie calm that spooked Tony a bit. Steve had always been on the quieter side, when he wasn't loudly defending some underdog, antagonizing corporates or fighting for freedom, liberty and her cousins. It was like a hard-boiled egg for all three meals. Tony remembered a time when he would be inches away from flinging a frying pan onto Steve's face and the ass would say or do something so inherently sincere or human that Tony would be left face-planting himself before he sighed and agreed to support Steve's mission. They had never been constant and most of the times people around them hadn't caught the line between their banter and disagreements. Still, Steve was -- had been -- one person Tony was always trying to protect and be friends with. It wasn't because he was Captain America, even Steve knew that. That was a little, a gimmick to lure bonds during war. The real Steve had always been so much better.

Tony blinked his eyes, snapping out of his reverie, when he realized that they had reached the Compound. He didn't have to say anything to his co-passenger, who wordlessly got out and waited for Tony to park. As they walked in, Tony felt Steve look at him but when he turned, the Captain was already staring ahead.

Feeling a bit disconcerted, he only hoped that nobody would make this day any more unusual than it already was.

****************

_"When Irish eyes are smiling, Sure, 'tis like the morn in Spring.  In the lilt of Irish laughter, You can hear the angels sing."_

Steve paused in his punching and tilted his head to the side.

"Some day it might get less creepy for you to recite poetry when someone is working out," he commented and heard an amused huff of air before he saw red hair come into the vicinity of his sight.

"Blame it on Laura, she's a poetry fan. How was the meeting with T'Challa?" Natasha asked as she tightly tapped Steve's punching bag.

"You spoke to Tony? How was his meeting?" Steve asked instead of replying and Natasha frowned at him.

"He didn't tell you? You both went and came back together, right?" she analyzed his face with confusion before her face cleared, "Please tell me you two did not spend the entire time yelling at each other."

"We don't yell. We argue. But no, we weren't doing that. We still didn't talk about his meeting though."

"Let me guess, you wanted him to talk and he wanted you to ask?" Natasha raised an eyebrow and Steve gave her a look that told her to drop it, "Steve..."

"T'Challa is fine. Everything was fine," Steve replied firmly and saw Natasha look at him with an unreadable look before her face went back to its poker state and she stepped away from the bag.

"Spar with me"

Steve shot her a bland look but stepped away from his bag, moving towards the mat and taking stance. He had been expecting the first shot and weaved to catch the arm and twist her down. Natasha was vicious in her mood today though and got out, moving back and getting back into pose.

It lasted shorter than usual with Natasha vaulting past casual and going all in with her strength. Steve dodged and shot back with all his training but he was already half drained from his previous workout and missed the roundhouse kick in the last minute, falling back gracelessly. Natasha didn't give him room to rise though, swiftly pinning him down with her knee sharp against his chest.

"You both are idiots," she said calmly and Steve raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Thanks, but we're not doing anything."

"Exactly," she said in frustration and pushed her knee harder, "We've all somehow managed to survive something big enough to destroy us, we're here and available but you two are still not ready to lead the team."

"Natasha..."

"He was offered a new team," she cut him short and Steve stilled before frowning up at Natasha's serious face, "The UN is offering him a new team. He gets to chose the roster as long as he gets them to agree to UN's regulations."

"They want us out?"

"They want people who haven't gone against them openly," Natasha explained and raised a hand when Steve opened his mouth to argue, "No, they're not throwing us into another prison or asking us to stay off. They're simply building their own team."

"And Tony said yes?"

"He hasn't said no," Natasha acquiesced before pausing thoughtfully, "Which for him is partly saying yes, I guess."

Steve clenched his jaw and rolled out from under Natasha's hold, springing back up and running a hand through his hair.

"Shit" he cursed and turned to flash her a bitter smile, "Still think they don't have an agenda or he can manage it? First chance they see they're jumping at it to throw us out."

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him before gracefully getting up and standing before him calmly.

"You need to trust him sometimes, you know?" she said casually and Steve snorted.

"It's not him I don't trust Natasha."

"Yes it is"

Steve blinked and looked up but Natasha was staring coolly at him.

"Yes, it is. It's Tony you don't trust. You haven't trusted him properly ever since Ultron." Natasha observed sharply, "But we need you to talk to him about that and sort this out."

"We've talked and I do trust him. Our talks always seem to end in fights."

Natasha pursed her lips and blew out a small huff of air. She stayed silent and Steve thought about the ramifications that could come from this new development when she spoke again.

"During the whole fight, I was the only one who spoke to both of you as a friend, you know?" she mused and Steve raised his eyes to meet hers, "Before I left Tony at the hospital, we had a vicious exchange of words. I get it, he was upset about Rhodey and annoyed with your 'escape' but I kind of lost my temper too. You know what he said to make me lose my temper?"

Steve stayed silent and Natasha finally looked at him dead in the eye.

"He said that playing a double agent was in my DNA. That I was double timing him," Natasha shook her head when Steve tried to argue on her behalf, "He was right."

"No, he wasn't," Steve said immediately and she smiled an inch before shrugging.

"In a way, he was." she explained, looking at the mat with sudden interest, "I shifted gears in the end, Steve. I could have refused to fight from the beginning. I could have told Tony to back down as well. I chose to make my own decision. Something that led to my team's breakdown of sorts." Natasha paused and laughed when Steve looked indignant and confused, "Don't get me wrong, he was a blind jerk too and I gave as good as I got...but the point is that Tony took my jab about letting go of his ego seriously. In a good way."

She breathed in and continued.

"I've always had a different kind of friendship with Tony while compared to the relatively more simple base I have with you. Me and Tony, we started off on the worst foot possible and things didn't improve for a while thanks to our charming personalities and suspicions. But in a fight, outside the battle, you give me any place, I would trust him with my life. And I think he felt betrayed because he thought he could do the same with me. During that last fight, I brought in T'Challa, an aggressive opponent to you, while he brought in Spidey, a non-aggressive player. I never realized it till now but somehow, I think Tony was the one who was holding back most of the punches, at least more than half of us. he could have ended the fight a long time ago, Steve, he had the firepower to do that." Natasha paused and thought for a minute before speaking, "Don't misunderstand me, he still did muck some things up but Steve, he tried his level best to sort out problems. More than we could see."

"Through this whole mess, I advised both you and Tony on different issues. Both of you are my friends, even if it comes out in different ways. I asked you to not punch your way through but you didn't listen. I asked you to try and see beyond your stand but you didn't. I insulted him and told him to look beyond his bruised ego and he did."

Steve was holding his breath when Natasha stared at him calmly and spoke clearly.

"Steve, I've always and will always support you. But I cannot say that you did things the best way this time," she said with a soft smile that was sad in its edges, "I tried to get both of you to give an inch and keep this team together. It just so happened that both of you reacted differently"

Natasha shrugged at him and turned around to walk away when Steve found his voice to ask a final question.

"What was the difference?"

The Black Widow paused and turned her head to the side.

"The difference was very small. He tried." she muttered and left the gym in silence, leaving Steve and another pile of thoughts he had to sort through.

Half an hour later, he was simply staring at his punching bag, when he got an alert from Friday that he was supposed to meet Bucky for lunch.

Swallowing his emotions and shaken balance, he unwrapped his hands and went out to take a shower before he could try and find some familiarity with his friend.

With everything falling apart faster than he could hold it, he was starting to get desperate for it.

 

**Precap:**

Tony blinked once and then blinked once again, watching his data flash on the screen. Fifty two times. Fifty two times he had asked Steve if he was fine in the last month and not once, not once had Steve said 'Yes', 'I'm fine' or something equally clear. It was always deflective, always turning the subject away. The buzzing in his head, the one that had started this whole project, had now solidified.

This was the one time Tony hated being right. He absolutely hated being right in this situation because there was no way he could explain this to the others. Not without a guaranteed run away from their good Captain, because despite whatever the others said, Tony knew that Steve wasn't always brave. Sure, when it came to saving others, standing up to injustice, doing the good work of messiahs et al Steve was the first in line. Turn that focus onto Steve's own problems and the man would either become an immovable rock or jump off a plane. Tony knew clearly how much he was describing himself but this time, the problem wasn't about him. Shocking, yes. This time it was about Steve.

Something was wrong with Steve and nobody had realized it yet. Not to mention that Tony had an instinct that it was only worsening. Because Tony had seen it happen to himself a bit, on a milder scale.

It looked like Steve Rogers was deep in depression and only Tony could see that.

God, this was going to get so screwed up, he thought with a mental groan.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not Satan but I think I'm drifting in that direction :P I've always wanted Natasha to be frank with Steve about how her friendship with him is different from that with Tony. I really, really don't like it when we get her acquiescing with every demand and decision of Steve (even if she is against it in the beginning) but she never gives him shit for not listening to her. I hope I got the tone right because I want to show Natasha as someone who is one her last ends and is really growing tired of picking up after the boys. We'll be welcoming my beloved Pepper Potts in the next chapter and then Sharon in a couple of chapters. Till then, please review and send me your guesses about what the precap could be about ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just, Rhodey, Steve and then Pepper followed by a short entry of the new team. But Rhodey - I have no words for that man, he owns my soul.

When Jeanie was about 6 years old, she had proclaimed quite confidently to anyone who met her, that Sesame Street was the wisdom  _guru_  of the world. It was potentially embarrassing for 17 year old Jim Rhodes to be caught watching the show with his kid sister, but Jim was always one who yielded a little to easily to puppy dog eyes. So when Jeanie declared that Tony was Jim's best friend forever because he was willing to share his last cookie, Jim had done nothing but agreed.

Of course, life never went that easy and over the span of almost two decades, there were quite a large number of cookies Tony had crushed for Rhodey. The little guy was not an easy friend to be with but Rhodey remembered the times Tony would not hesitate to drop everything for Rhodey and would remember that this man-child genuinely needed him, as much as Rhodey needed the kid. It was unhealthy at a lot of times and possibly toxic too, but Rhodey wouldn't trade Tony for anyone in the world; just as Tony never traded Rhodey for anyone else. 

Which is what added the hurt to Rhodey's anger right now as he glared at his best friend of two decades.

"This isn't personal," he echoed Tony's words disbelievingly before growling, "This isn't _personal_?! Are you mocking me, dickhead?"

"Please don't say dickhead. You sound like Clint when you cuss," Tony tried to smile cheekily but winced when Rhodey's glower worsened, "Look, it's necessary, okay?"

"Tell me how it's 'necessary' for you to  _dump me_ from the team," Rhodey said coldly, spitting the words like they burnt his tongue.

"I'm not dumping you from the team, sugarplum, I'm just not putting you on the new roster," Tony clarified.

"Why? Crippled guy not good enough for the great Tony Stark anymore?" Rhodey's eyes flashed and Tony shot back without a pause.

"No, best goddamned Avenger I know is too good for Tony Stark to lose"

"Fuck you. Don't go around throwing bull-shit to deflect me, asshole," Rhodey grit out, feeling the urge to strangle someone when Tony turned around and went back to packing, "Listen to me, you don't have to do this. You don't have to do this alone, you hear me?"

"I'm not alone. I'm getting a new team," Tony shrugged casually but Rhodey was well-versed in reading Tony to know that he was inches away from losing it. He tried a new angle.

"You don't get to say no"

"Excuse me?" Tony shifted and shot Rhodey a look from over his shoulder.

"I signed the Accords too, didn't I? Which means that -"

"-you will work as per UN's regulations, nothing more," Tony completed the sentence with a raised eyebrow, "Rhodes, you know that I wouldn't take this decision if it wasn't necessary."

"This isn't a decision you're taking for yourself. This is a decision you're taking for  **me** " Rhodey bit out and Tony sighed before turning and crossing his arms.

"No, this is a decision I'm taking for the bigger picture"

"So what, now you're replacing me with who? Some new kid who's gonna agree with everything your goddamned ego says?"

"Rhodes, it's a whole new roster. That means that a whole  **new** roster. And have you ever found someone who agrees with my ego?" Tony shrugged with a bitter smirk.

"Fine, then I'll leave the compound too," Rhodey shrugged back, eyes spitting fire.

"And go where?" Tony asked humorlessly.

"Are you suggesting that I can't find a -"

"I'm not and you know that," Tony raised a hand and stopped him before he got the damned sentence out, "Jim, you belong here. You were part of this team and you need to stick around now."

"Why the hell should I do that?"

"Because someone needs to make sure that the UN doesn't get to them and that they don't run away into some random vigilantism cruise again."

"Do I look like a babysitter to you?" Rhodey narrowed his eyes.

"You babysat me for years, platypus," Tony shrugged faux-casually.

Rhodey clenched his jaw and glared at Tony. He didn't want to lose track of the conversation but the whole idea of Tony ditching him from the new roster and telling him to stay on the compound was rubbing him in all the wrong ways. It made him feel insulted and helpless in ways that not even his  _injury_ had felt. He knew instinctively that he needed to rein in his temper but Tony was  _packing_ and he was leaving to form a new team the next day. A team he refused to make Rhodey a part of. 

"Just...look me in the eye and tell me that you're not rejecting me because of my legs," Rhodey breathed in and held Tony's gaze firmly, daring him to lie.

Tony didn't say a word and Rhodey felt like somebody had slapped him and spit on him. He hadn't felt this small and shunned even when he had woken up in the hospital and discovered what had happened to his legs. To get this from  _Tony_ , the guy whom Rhodey had -

"Guess that answers everything," Rhodey laughed humorlessly and Tony made an aborted attempt to say something but held it back. Rhodey breathed out shakily and clenched his hands at his sides. "Good luck on your new team, Stark."

"Rhodey..."

"Don't," Rhodey cut him off coldly and turned around to walk out of Tony's room, "We've got nothing else to talk about."

Rhodey didn't wait for any response and walked out stiffly, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Tony saw his best friend leave and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He closed his eyes for a minute, just a minute to hate himself, before opening them and turning back to continue packing.

"So you're really leaving" an extremely familiar voice came from the entrance and Tony stomped on the urge to let out a strangled yell. He did  _not_ need this right now.

"Get out. I'm inches away from calling for the suit," Tony said calmly as he glanced at the bags he had packed.

"Can we talk?" he heard and Tony breathed in before turning around with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't you mean 'yell', Steve?" he snapped and Steve, for once, didn't rise to the bait. Instead he raised his hands in a peace gesture before coming in and closing the door slightly. Tony narrowed his eyes at that but he also knew that Steve Rogers wouldn't really hurt him. Well, not without much provocation.

"I just want to talk, Tony" Steve insisted.

"If you think that you can convince me to stay behind and -"

"I'm not going to try" Steve cut him short and Tony snapped his mouth shut with a dubious expression that prompted Steve to continue, "You have my word. I won't try to change your mind."

"Your word" Tony repeated with narrowed eyes and Steve simply shrugged before nodding. For a few minutes neither spoke and then finally Tony waved a hand for Steve to continue with a sigh.

"I'd like to talk to some lawyers" Steve said and Tony stilled, shoving back immediate responses of  _What the fuck_ ,  _after all this time_ and  _you don't say, Rogers_. 

"Why?" he asked instead, proud of himself for playing the mature card.

"To...to think over the modifications," Steve said and Tony raised his eyebrow at the pained expression that came across the soldier's face at getting out the sentence.

"Okay, yeah, you're right, we need to talk. Because I understand squat now," Tony rubbed his forehead and gestured towards the chair by the window while he himself sat on the bed. Steve eyed the chair like it was out to bite him before he let loose a breath and sat in it. 

"I've been thinking" Steve began and Tony really couldn't bite back a quiet "Oh God no". Steve shot him a look but sarcasm was hard-wired into Tony and he had no shame about it, so he simply waved a hand for Steve to continue. Steve breathed in and continued. He spoke haltingly and at some points Tony had to hide his wince at the lemon-sucking expression on Steve's face, when he spoke about Sokovia or Thaddeus Ross. 

"Okay stop, stop, stop," Tony raised a hand when Steve began getting all impassioned, "Let's start from the top. So you're still not okay with the Accords?"

"No"

"But you're open to considering it with some modifications and changes"

"Real changes, Tony but...yes, I am"

"And you're actually willing to talk to lawyers and the group of experts put together? About this?"

"Yes" This time the answer wasn't hesitant. Tony stared at Steve for an entire minute unblinkingly before bursting into laughter.

"Tony.." Steve sighed tiredly but Tony simply shook his head and gasped for breath.

"No, no, really, I'm not laughing at you. I really am not," Tony shook his head through wheezes, "But this whole thing, this whole shitfest...and all of a sudden it's that simple? That easy?"

"Can it not be that simple?" Steve asked and Tony got his laughter under control to shoot Steve a look.

"I don't buy it" he said challengingly, cocking his head, "What brought this on?"

"I  _am_ capable of adapting to change, you know?" Steve shot back and Tony raised his eyebrow making Steve lose the look, "I might have ... been judgemental about a few things."

"No shit," Tony rolled his eyes, "but what brought  _this_ on? This attempt to mediate and stuff? I thought you were all about planting yourself like a tree by the river of truth? No compromise and all?"

"How do you know about -"

"I was there, in the back," Tony waved a hand dismissively and Steve froze with eyes narrowed.

"You...were there. At Peggy's funeral," he said disbelievingly and Tony shrugged.

"I made Natasha record it and send it. Same difference," he said with a bored voice that might have fooled someone who didn't know Tony.

"You knew Peggy?" he asked instead of the obvious  _why_ question.

"Comes with being a godson," Tony said casually and Steve knew that his expression must give away his shock but Tony simply smirked, "Yeah, shocking, I know. I'm not big on funerals though."

Steve has a thousand responses to this. Ranging from  _why didn't you tell me_ to  _why do you hate funerals_. But he realizes that he can guess at all those reasons. What he cannot answer, cannot acknowledge at this point, is that he knew nothing about the people of his past in the years he wasn't with them. Not Howard, not Peggy, maybe not even Bucky.

"I've always been stubborn," he begins instead, looking at the floor before meeting Tony's eyes, "It's something that helped me survive a lot in my life."

"Like almost getting your dick cut off by people you insisted on hitting in Brooklyn alleys?" Tony tilted his head and Steve shook his head with a small quirk of his lips.

"Or you know, becoming a soldier," Steve shrugged and Tony rolled his eyes, "You gonna let me finish what I came to say?"

"Depends, am I going to like it?" Tony asked.

"Gee, Mr. Fancy Whiz, I don't know," Steve shot back unthinkingly before he cut himself off and Tony stared at him before snickering.

"Gee golly whiz," he muttered under his breath before shrugging, "Please, continue your story that is so not fascinating me."

Steve rolled his eyes but continued with a small grin.

"So, like I said, I'm stubborn. That's a thing I am and sometimes...I tend to overdo it. Becoming judgemental and ... not giving people a chance," Steve said on a breath before continuing, "Look, Tony, I know, alright? I know that I screwed up too. I still don't agree with everything the Accords say but I see that not everything is set in stone. And I want to try at changing things. Really try."

"Is this because I'm leaving?"

"What?"

"I said is this because I'm leaving?"

"Yes, and I said what," Steve exhaled before considering Tony, "Don't take this the wrong way, but no. It's not because you're leaving."

"Why'd you prelude 'no' with 'don't take this the wrong way?" Tony frowned.

"Because you tend to do it more than you realize," Steve answered.

"That...might be true," Tony sighed and stayed silent before asking, "Seriously, Steve, what changed? Or rather, who changed it for you?"

"You really don't trust me, do you?"

"You've not given me much reason to," Tony shrugged and continued before Steve could retort, "just as I haven't given you. Apparently."

Steve stayed silent for a minute, an unreadable expression on his face before he nodded slowly.

"I meant what I wrote in the letter," he said quietly and Tony tensed but Steve held his gaze and continued, "I know I didn't show it much but I do trust individuals and I do trust you. Okay, maybe not the way I trusted the others but I do trust you. I wouldn't be staying here if I didn't and Bucky -- you've done a lot for him Tony. More than what I expected you to -"

"Wow, really high expectations you've got then"

"- and I get that it was probably my fault," Steve ended with a look that screamed that he was right about Tony taking things the wrong way. Tony didn't say a word but he did keep his silence, letting Steve continue, "I didn't think through the whole... I  _am_ sorry I hurt you with the part about hiding your parents' assassination."

Tony is glad,  _really_ glad that Steve didn't make excuses because that part had been bugging the hell out of him ever since he read the letter. Tony realized later that Steve always sucked at apologies but he didn't think that was good enough for the ridiculous apology he had got. He had wanted to face Steve when he heard the words and now...he he was.

"Who was it?" he asked in an attempt to distract because they were still not on the part where he could talk about the letter or the hiding easily, "The person who was amazing enough to knock some sense into you?"

"Bucky" Steve said on an exhale and Tony blinked twice.

"Bucky" he echoed, "Bucky? Your Bucky?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Steve muttered exasperatedly.

"No, seriously? Your bestie buddy told you to play nice with bad old me?" Tony milked it with glee and by Steve's look, he must have understood it as well. Steve remembered his lunch with Bucky and Natasha quite clearly to maybe accept that fact.

_"He's your friend, right?" Bucky asked as he passed the peas to Natasha. Steve blinked around a mouthful of food but before he could say anything Natasha clarified._

_"Tony, he means Tony"_

_"Yeah, he is," Steve said cautiously because he really is but Bucky asking the question doesn't seem to be going in the positive directions. Bucky, for his part, simply hummed and went back to eating._

_As Steve raised his beer to gulp it down, he realized that the damn jerk had a reason for the silence._

_"He offered me free blow jobs" Bucky said casually addressing Natasha and, would you see that, Steve sprayed the table with spit out beer._

_"What?" he coughed with wide eyes and Natasha simply tutted before getting napkins to dab at the table._

_"Tony, he offered to get me whatever I need," Bucky smirked around his own beer, "I asked 'Whatever?' and he said 'Yeah, think of anything you'd like. Exquisite Italian food, lego toys, tickets to the Broadway. What're the things you've missed since the 40's?'. I said 'sex' because I'm smart and he said 'Sure, we can get that done too.' I asked him what all this would cost me and he gave me a dirty look before saying free. So, yeah, free blow jobs."_

_"Son of a bitch" Steve cursed as he got his breath back._

_"Don't curse his mother, Stevie. I can't let you demean her. Even if I did kill her," Bucky adds thoughtfully._

_"I meant you" Steve grunted and Bucky shot him a sneaky look._

_"Well, then definitely don't curse my mother, Rogers." he smirked and Natasha shrugged when Steve looked at her, "But hey, seriously, he's your friend, right?"_

_"I think we've established that, Buck" Steve rolled his eyes._

_"So why exactly are you being a dick?"_

_Steve blinked and swallowed before answering. "What?"_

_"You" Bucky pointed with his beer bottle, "are being a dick. To Tony. Why?"_

_"He can't help it. Those two have unresolved ... tension," Natasha said blandly and Steve shot her a glare._

_"Who invited you to lunch?" he said petulantly because it's Natasha and he has a habit of being childish around her._

_"I did. I'm trying to convince her to date me," Bucky said casually and Steve stared at him. He then stared at Natasha who shrugged but had a small smirk on her face._

_"Okay" Steve said safely before turning back to Bucky, "I'm not being a dick to Tony."_

_Bucky stared at him._

_"I'm not actively trying to be a dick to Tony"_

_Natasha joined in the staring._

_"I'm trying...to be less of a dick to Tony?"_

_Bucky stared harder before sighing and flinging a bread roll at Steve._

_"Look, you gotta sort this out with him," Bucky said calmly, "You two being skittish is making everyone go crazy. Even Vision, which according to Tasha, is pretty rare. So go do your thing and sort it out."_

_"You're not my mom," Steve grumbled and Bucky raised an eyebrow before sharing a look with Natasha._

_"And here I thought you'd grown up in 70 years, punk," Bucky rolled his eyes, leveling a sharp look at Steve, "Stevie, what's your problem?"_

_"Nothing. I don't have a problem. Pass me the peas?"_

_"Oh my God," Bucky muttered under his breath before holding Steve's jaw and turning it to face him, "Did you or did you not know that I killed his parents?"_

_"Buck, what the hell, let go!"_

_"Answer the damn question."_

_"...Yes"_

_Bucky nodded with a grunt and let go of Steve's jaw but continued questioning._

_"And did you or did you not hide about Zemo's facts from him when we decided to go to Siberia?"_

_"I told him when we tried to leave."_

_"Yeah, with half an army and in war-gear," Bucky said slowly, like Steve was loopy, "Steve, come on."_

_"He was bound by the Accords."_

_"Yep, and still he came to us in Siberia," Bucky said with a smirk, "That's not a guy you doubt, that's a guy you trust."_

_"Bucky, I trust him. Nothing's wrong, we're not fighting. Can you let it go?"_

_"Does he know that?" Natasha asked and Bucky waved a hand in her direction in a 'see?' gesture._

_"Nat, we're trying, alright?"_

_"So try harder," Bucky shrugged, "The guy's leaving in a couple of days. Yeah, Tasha told me, stop scowling. He's gonna be gone and you two are gonna stay in this ridiculous awkwardness. Sort it out before he leaves."_

_"I'll talk to him" Steve said non-commitedly and was a bit surprised when Bucky's new metal arm came up to hold his wrist. He looked up to see Bucky look at him with a serious expression._

_"Steve, I spent the last seven decades hurting people who didn't deserve to be hurt," he said quietly, "I've killed friends and done things that're gonna be in my head till the day I die. Take it from someone who knows what a chance means, you should sort it out. People don't **get** second chances all the time, Stevie. Nobody knows that better than me. You get chances that come too late and don't give you any other options but those are not second chances. What you have here, it's the best damn thing you're gonna get. This team,  **every** single person on it, will stake their all for you. Tony did that when he came to Siberia. I know, I know that what happened there was stupid but honestly? I wasn't expecting anything different from a guy who just saw his mom and dad get murdered, okay? And yeah, he was pretty dumb to rush the Accords thing but he tried to get you to the safe side and it's not like he told you the thing would be set in stone, right?"_

_"It's writing away our freedom in a way, Buck"_

_"You really think a guy like Tony Stark would sign something that would give away his freedom to someone?" Bucky countered and thought better of it when it looked like Steve would say yes, because both of them knew about Tony's guilt issues, "Okay, you think someone like Rhodes would do that? Or Tasha here? Or hell, T'Challa?"_

_"I -- I don't trust organizations with all this power at their disposal, Buck" Steve sighed and Natasha spoke up quietly._

_"So don't sign it all to them. Barter."_

_"Barter?"_

_"Yeah, bargain. Negotiate. Work it out legally."_

_"You want me to compromise," Steve surmised._

_"It's not a dirty word, Stevie," Bucky pointed out, "And before you start quotin' Peggy to me, answer me this: did Peggy say to never compromise or to try before standing your ground?"_

_"Also, Peggy Carter was talking about a world and situation against those who don't respect you," Natasha continued from Bucky's thread, "Here? Here it's us. Your team. You honestly think that Tony or me, any of us would let the government or the UN draw you into a thing which does not have a backdoor? Tony is rash Steve, but he learns from his mistakes."_

_"Look, I'm not sayin' you should sign it right away," Bucky said before Steve could retort, "But just...don't throw away chances before you try them. Your bull-head attitude will help in a lot of things but you're also a strategist. Use your damn brain to change the situation to your benefit. There's laws, right? And lawyers? Use them. Get together and find a way out, so that nobody gets stuck."_

_Steve didn't say anything and simply picked at his food for a few silent moments before letting out a deep breath and nodding._

_"Good. Now, about the other thing," Bucky started and Steve shot him a warning look but Bucky had long become immune to it, "Would ya just talk to the guy and clear it out? It's not that hard, Steve, honestly."_

_"Why're you so damn insistent on this?" Steve asked with a frown and Bucky gave him a small sad smile._

_"Because he's still your friend. And take it from me, nothing's so big to warrant losing a friend. Pride, the least."_

_Steve stared at Bucky for a minute, swallowing his lump hard because he could read between the lines. He wanted to, he really wanted to sort things out with Tony, but there was always this air of awkwardness between them whenever they were in the same room. It was suffocating after a point and one of them always left._

_"I'll try" he offered quietly and Bucky nodded once before going back to his meal._

_"Good, cause fighting for the sake of ego or pride? It's not worth it."_

"He likes you," Steve told Tony with a small shrug and Tony shot him a strange look before some unknown tension left his shoulders.

"He's not bad," Tony shrugged back and Steve was smart enough to understand the olive branch. Tony took a deep breath and continued, "Look, Steve, I -- I'm really glad you're thinking about this, you know? I meant it when I told you that time, we do need you. Well, the team does. So...yeah, good decision, skipper."

"Thanks," Steve said wryly and Tony made a face. They were both silent for a while and right when it felt like the awkwardness would be back, Tony spoke up.

"So I talked to Wanda," he said and Steve raised an eyebrow, "Well, actually I went to talk to Vision but Wanda...was there. And she spoke. So I listened and ... there were things that were said and understood."

"Tony, what are you -"

"I might have been wrong to not tell her that I wanted her to stay in the Compound till the Accords mess was over," Tony blurted and looked like he had just confessed the darkest secret of his mind. Steve simply stared at him.

"So what did she say?" he asked instead of getting Tony to say the words that he had apologized.

"There were words. And names. And comparisons made to nannies. Or governesses," Tony shrugged but his face said that whatever Wanda had said must have been quite chastising, "In my defense, I  _did_ make sure that she had free reign of the entire Compound. I mean, this place is pretty huge to call it a house-arrest."

"I've noticed," Steve said in a dry tone that said that Tony was being an idiot.

"Yeah...apparently she's not a kid and she wants everybody to understand that," Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Especially you and me."

"Oh?"

"Did you know that Vision was a snitch?" Tony asked instead of explaining but Steve simply frowned so Tony waved his hand dismissively before continuing, "Anyway, the point is that I may have, sort of, possibly -"

"Been a douche?" Steve offered and Tony let out a strangled sound that Steve took as a yes.

"I was going to go with 'over-assumed'," Tony cleared his throat and Steve smirked knowingly getting an epic eye-roll from Tony, "Oh, whatever, grandpa. You've done worse."

"Whatever you say, Tony," Steve said innocently and Tony snorted. They sat there in silence for some more time before Tony smacked his forehead and stood up.

"I almost forgot," he exclaimed before walking towards his wardrobe-wall and pressing a knob at the side of a panel, "I had to give you something."

Steve was about to ask what when he caught sight of a black cover in the shape of -

No. It couldn't be. No.

"Tony, what -" Steve breathed out shakily but Tony was already bringing it out with a grimace on his face at the cover.

"Here you go," he said and held out the package in Steve's direction.

"Tony, I can't," Steve shook his head, even though his eyes were riveted to the item.

"Of course you can, I've seen you hold it before," Tony scoffed before removing the cover and taking the gleaming red, white and blue shield, "Go on, take it. Don't make me carry it for you, Rogers, take the damn thing."

"No, I really can't. Why would you give this back?" Steve asked a bit hysterically and Tony fixed a strange look at him.

"Uh, because it's your shield?" Tony asked cautiously and Steve breathed in shakily.

"I dropped it. You told me to drop it. I dropped it, Tony," Steve insisted and Tony looked a bit concerned now.

"Steve, I also told you to jump off the Eiffel Tower once. Doesn't mean you should do it. But yeah, I kind of meant it when I said that bit...in Siberia. And now I'm giving it back, so take it," Tony wiggled the shield at Steve who stared at Tony.

"Why?" he asked again and Tony sighed.

"Because I'm too busy to play Frisbee? Because I'm more of a rock'em sock'em guy and a shield doesn't do well for my image? Because I can't get the trajectory right at all times? I don't know, take your pick," Tony shrugged but Steve kept staring at him pointedly.

"Oh, what do you want?" Tony threw his hands in the air and it might have looked comical with the shield but nobody was in a joking mood.

"Why?" Steve insisted because he really couldn't understand.

"Rogers, come on!" Tony huffed before taking a tired breath and speaking in a low voice, just one sentence.

"Because he didn't give it to me, he gave it to you"

"What?" Steve breathed out softly and Tony shot him a glare that dissolved into a weary look.

"Look, my dad was a lot of things but he wasn't an idiot, okay?" Tony started gruffly but it sounded more like a tired tone, "He never did things he didn't mean. Sure, he didn't do many things he meant too but...he didn't do things without a purpose. He made this thing, yes, but he didn't make it on a whim or for gags. He made this for a purpose. For a purpose that's clearly bigger than both you and me. He made this for the guy whom he trusted. For you. I know, I know that it's all fucked up now, but...he made it for you, Steve. I create things and I know the effort that goes into them. God, he must have put in so much of his time and thought into this. And he did all that because he wanted to make sure that you were safe."

Tony paused and rubbed a hand over his face.

"This shield, it's a symbol. Of safety and justice for this country," Tony said like he was remembering somebody else' words, "I don't know a lot of things about my dad but I  _do_ know that he took those things seriously. And as an inventor and engineer I can say one thing : You don't have the right to take away another creator's pride or credit. It's the first rule I learnt the hard way. My dad made this for you but him being my dad does not make this my legacy. It's not **his** , it's his **creation**. There's a difference. The way Vision is not mine? This shield was not Howard's. It was yours and it should be yours, because it was made for you. What I said, I wanted to hurt you and I'm good with words, okay? But I'm not blind or dumb. I've been trying hard to set right a lot of my mistakes. This one seems to be the easier than most."

"I'm not--I'm not Captain America," Steve shook his head and something in Tony's eyes seemed to click into place.

"Okay, but you're still Steve Rogers. And Howard Stark made it for Steve Rogers. The color scheme was your idea, not his, right?" Tony argued with a small smirk.

Steve stared at Tony in silence. There had been a lot of moments since he had met Tony Stark for the first time that Steve had been rendered speechless by this man, but none were as strong as this. In that moment he understood why he still considered Tony his friend and why he had felt compelled to write that letter, despite knowing that it was risky. 

"Take it, Cap," Tony said a little gently and Steve forced his hands to rise and hold the shield. He lifted it and caressed the surface for a minute, letting his hands remember the feel of it before sliding his arm into the loop. The weight of the vibranium against his arm almost made him want to cry because he had missed this. Despite his resolve to let it go, he couldn't deny that he had missed this security.

"Thank you" he said quietly and for once, Tony didn't make any joke.

"Take care of the team, alright?" he said instead and Steve looked up to meet Tony's gaze firmly.

"Take care of yourself too," he said in reply before adding, "And try not to haze your new recruits."

"Oh, hazing is part of their resilience building, Rogers," Tony sniffed and Steve shook his head with a small smile.

"One day you're gonna find someone who's gonna haze you instead," he told him pointedly with a smirk but Tony simply raised his chin and smirked back.

"Whatever, old man"

Later, Steve was about to leave the room when he paused and turned around.

"He's just hurt, you know?" he said quietly and Tony frowned.

"What?"

"I overheard a bit when I was coming and...Rhodes is just -"

"Cap, I know," Tony cut him short with a sad smile, "But I can't risk it. His legs aren't cleared for duty and in the suit? I'm not sure yet. I won't risk Rhodey again."

"I know," Steve replied and Tony knew that he was thinking about Bucky, "But sometimes maybe we need to let them decide things about their lives."

"I didn't -"

"I'm not blaming you, Tony," Steve shook his head, "I took decisions for my friends too, remember? We both did. But just...clear it out with him soon, okay? Nothing's so big as to warrant losing a friend."

Toy opened his mouth before shutting it. 

"I'll try" he said with a small shrug and Steve nodded with a small quirk of his lips, wishing him good night before leaving.

The next day morning, when Tony was leaving, neither Clint nor Rhodey came down to see him off. Tony wore his garish glasses quickly but Steve knew that he was disappointed.

"Good luck" he said quietly as he shook Tony's hand and Tony considered him for a minute before nodding.

"You too, Cap," he said before getting into his car and driving away.

Steve watched him go and then looked back to see Natasha look at him with a slightly satisfied look.

********

Getting a new roster was a bit easier than Tony had expected it to be. But getting them all to work together? That was where the real hurdle began.

It had been more than a month since Tony had left the Compound, and now, living in the Tower with Carol Danvers, Sam Alexander, Kamala Khan and sporadically Peter Parker (who still didn't reveal his identity to the others), Tony thought it resembled more of a year. Peter he had no problems with, Sam or  _Nova_ as he insisted he be called was a bit of a confused kid, Kamala Khan was gifted but sometimes overwhelmed by the idea of being an Avenger but none of these were as big a challenge as Carol Danvers.

Captain Marvel. Rhodey's ex-girlfriend. A hard-ass woman who hated Tony's frickin guts.

He tried every trick in the book but Carol was as pig-headed as Steve and maybe a bit more because she had been with Rhodey when Tony had been ... well, a playboy. The reputation hadn't left clearly and she eyed him like she was going to fling him into space every time he made a joke. Which was basically most of the times. Tony was used to people being annoyed with him but he really needed this team to click and Danvers was wearing him down.

He needed another focus to divert him. A new project of sorts. 

Which was how he had latched on to dissecting Steve Rogers. Well, his brain. Actually, his behavior and growth because he knew that the talks with the lawyers were going well but he had heard from Nat that the team morale was a bit off. He had expected it to be because of Rhodey's anger but he had been bowled over when Nat hinted it at being more because of Steve. That didn't seem right and Tony's curiosity had spiked, making him contact Steve regularly, just to keep an eye out. He hadn't expected to hit upon a discovery in the process of this mini-project.

Tony blinked once and then blinked once again, watching his data flash on the screen. Fifty two times. Fifty two times he had asked Steve if he was fine in the last month and not once, not once had Steve said 'Yes', 'I'm fine' or something equally clear. It was always deflective, always turning the subject away. The buzzing in his head, the one that had started this whole project, had now solidified.

This was the one time Tony hated being right. He absolutely hated being right in this situation because there was no way he could explain this to the others. Not without a guaranteed run away from their good Captain, because despite whatever the others said, Tony knew that Steve wasn't always brave. Sure, when it came to saving others, standing up to injustice, doing the good work of messiahs et al Steve was the first in line. Turn that focus onto Steve's own problems and the man would either become an immovable rock or jump off a plane. Tony knew clearly how much he was describing himself but this time, the problem wasn't about him. Shocking, yes. This time it was about Steve.

Something was wrong with Steve and nobody had realized it yet. Not to mention that Tony had an instinct that it was only worsening. Because Tony had seen it happen to himself a bit, on a milder scale.

It looked like Steve Rogers was deep in depression and only Tony could see that.

God, this was going to get so screwed up, he thought with a mental groan.

"Boss, there's someone here to see you," Friday informed and Tony frowned.

"Who's it?"

"Ms. Potts"

Tony froze for a minute and considered his options:

1\. Ignore the whole thing.

2\. Make Friday tell Pepper that he was busy.

3\. Call her in 

4\. Call her in and call Danvers so that both of them could bond over their collective hate of him, leaving him alone.

"Yeah, call her in," he said with a weary sigh and heard the sound of stilettos a few minutes later.

"Hello, heartbreaker," he greeted and see, this is why he should have gone with option 4. Pepper, who looked pleasant till the words left his mouth, looked pinched now before breathing in and schooling her features.

"Hi, Tony," she replied and stood awkwardly before Tony sighed again.

"Take a seat, Potts," he waved a hand in the direction of the couch and she stiffened at the use of her surname but complied with a nod.

"How're you?" she asked and Tony knew that this day was only going to get worse.

It took them only seven minutes to get fighting again.

"I just wanted to see you, Tony!" Pepper yelled, "Is it honestly that hard to believe that I would be worried about you? Even though you're being an asshole?"

"When you take such a long time to come and 'see me', yeah it is hard to believe!" Tony snapped back, "What were you waiting for? A news flash that I was dying or something, because that's what got you going in the past, right?"

"You asshole! Are you seriously blaming me for everything? Tony, I tried, okay? I loved you and I tried to keep up but you never had time away from your distractions!"

"They were my suits, Pepper. My creations. They were a part of me and I gave it all up for you! What more of a commitment did you want?!"

"Are you blaming me for destroying your suits?! You did that on your own, Tony!"

"Because you kept asking me to choose! Between you and them, which by the way, were not distractions. They saved our goddamned lives!"

"And you got back into it once our lives were saved! You put on the suit again! We  **got into** the whole mess because of Iron Man!"

"Stop talking about Iron Man like he's a third person! I am Iron Man, Iron Man is me. There's no multiple personalities involved here."

"That's not true. You are -"

"What, Pepper? I am what?" Tony threw his hands in the air, "Jesus! We've had this conversation so many times that my brain cannot handle it again. I keep telling you this, I am Iron Man. It's me, not an alter ego."

"And I can't compete with that! I can't compete with a superhero!"

"I never asked you to compete with me, Pepper. I only asked you to love me!" Tony shot back swallowing a lump in his throat. Pepper opened her mouth to snap something back but her lower lip wobbled and she shut it.

"I did," she said after a few minutes of silence, "I did love you, Tony."

"But, right?" Tony quipped on a sigh and Pepper shot him a hurt look but swallowed it down.

"I never meant to hurt you," Pepper shook her head and Tony exhaled heavily as he sat back down on the couch.

"Me neither," he said simply because he knew that both of them had hurt each other.

"I really just wanted to see you, you know?" Pepper said softly after a few minutes of silence and Tony inhaled shakily before shrugging at her with a weak smirk.

"I'm alive, Pep," he said and she wore a sad smile at that.

"I know. Somehow you always manage to do that" she chuckled sadly and Tony joined in at the ridiculousness of the statement.

"This isn't a patch up, is it?" he asked resignedly once they had stopped laughing and she shot him a look that answered his question, "Okay then."

"You're still my friend, Tony," she said and Tony hated that. He hated that they were going back to square one because if Pepper couldn't love him then nobody could, right? But he looked at her, tired, beautiful Pepper with her determination and sharp eyes. He looked at her and he knew that he would always need her, even if just as a friend.

"I know, Pep," he said with a forced smug grin that got a weak but real chuckle out of her. They sat talking about SI and the new roster, neither touching on heavy issues in silent agreement. It hurt, in some part of him that still held wounds, it hurt to be platonic. 

But in the part of him that had missed her, Tony felt better. He settled into his skin and began placing Pepper back into his friends list.

And decided to take an initiative to try and do the same with another person, who was away in a Compound.

**Precap:**

"Behave" Tony mock tutted and Steve raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, I am not taking that from _you_ , Mr. Footsie With Fury," Steve huffed and Tony snorted into his coffee.

"Ah, good times," Tony hummed dreamily making Steve roll his eyes remembering the time when Tony had played footsie with Fury, making it seem like  _Steve_ was the one doing it, because Steve had been amicably nodding to what the ex-Director had been talking. That had been one of the times that had been part of the reasons Steve didn't faze at most things nowadays. You cannot blush at anything once you're done explaining to Nick Fury that you aren't romantically attracted towards him.

"But on a serious note," Tony continued his earlier rant and Steve snapped back to the present, "I really think Carol wants to kill me sometimes."

"Another normal day in our lives, Tony"

"It's not good for team-work if one of my team-mates makes death-threats when I'm in my shower, Steven"

"There is not a single team-mate you hasn't made death threats to you till date, _Anthony_ "

"I noticed that you ignored the shower part and you never made death threats"

"I learn new things every day" Steve shrugged, "Also, I knew better ways to make you stop blowing up my things". Tony smirked and Steve rolled his eyes at the completely mature waggle of eyebrows he got.

"Oh, my baby is all grown up" Tony said with a sniff and Steve sighed into his pancakes.

"Thanks,  _mom_ "

"Oh, I am not taking that from  _you_ , Mr. Murica," Tony said airily and Steve smartly ignored asking about the ridiculous nickname as the waitress came to ask if they needed anything else. Tony messed with her for a minute, asking for items he clearly knew that they didn't have before Steve gave her his 'show' smile and politely refused anything else.

"This is nice" Tony said after a minute and Steve looked up from his pancakes with a small frown to see Tony staring pointedly at his own half-eaten plate.

"What is?"

"This. Us talking normally," Tony shrugged and Steve didn't know what to respond to that, because it was true and also sad in a way. When they had been in the same team before, they hardly spent time together just to talk to each other and relax. Now, in this mom and pop diner, wearing ridiculous caps that they hoped disguised them well, they were at ease as just Tony and Steve. Things hadn't been completely resolved between them and Steve doubted they ever would. But they were better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before. It felt like they were unlearning and learning simultaneously but whatever it was, this was a time neither of them wanted to begrudge.

"Tomorrow let's try the buttermilk waffles" Steve suggested instead of saying anything emotional and Tony huffed a small chuckle, signalling that Steve had taken another right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always LOVED the fact that Rhodey supports Tony but also stands his own ground. I could go hours ranting about why TonyRhodey is the best Brotp ever but I think anybody who has read my stories would know that. I just love James Rupert Rhodes too much, okay? So I will make Tony and Rhodey patch up. Soon. In some later chapter. But I will do it.  
> The reason Steve mellows down is pretty simple: He's got nothing to be stubborn about now. Also, yay for the new team coming together and the precap. Feedback please?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you've noticed the added character tags and additional tags it's because I just saw the Infinity Wars cast list and I AM FREAKING OUT in happiness! I plan to take this story to and through the IW arc (with some tweaks and creative liberties, because it's still my fic), hence the character tags in advance. Let me know in your comments if you'd like a particular headcanon for any particular character(s), either already introduced or to-be-introduced to the fic. I'll try and incorporate them as much as possible :D 
> 
> Now, on to the story.

 "The kids are waiting for you at dinner, _dad_ "

"I will Unibeam this place," Tony said lightly without looking back, both hands buried deep into his armor. Carol chuckled behind him and kicked away a rolling nut on the floor before coming around to face Tony with a small smirk.

"Hey, don't give me that look," she shrugged with a teasing grin, "Wasn't me who decided to 'ground' Kamala and Dante but then gave them upgrades to make up for the grounding."

"They were blasting my workshop. Only I get to do that," Tony reminded her, pointedly not acknowledging the part about the upgrades because Carol was a smug ass and Tony would not give her the satisfaction tonight.

"Sure, Tony," she said in a voice that said that she was humoring him because he was a petulant puppy, "But seriously, dinner. Vision cooked."

Tony froze and finally turned to look at her with a horrified stare.

"Why? Are we having a communal suicide?" he blurted and Carol stifled a laugh at the genuine anxiousness in his eyes. It had been an amusing time watching Tony think that she hated him, especially when she was simply grumpy that he kept referring to her as Rhodey's ex to the others. Carol knew that she had a marvelous bitch face but she hadn't thought that Tony would take her that seriously. Finally, two weeks and half ago, she had gotten fed up of his insistent attempts at impressing her or getting into her good graces and had gone through a blunt conversation that  _yes, she was a part of this team because she wanted to be, no she didn't hate him and no, she wasn't frickin testing his abilities_. Once Tony had brushed off his embarrassment at having misjudged her with his long trusted sass, they had fallen back on their natural roles as snark-buddies. It helped that Kamala and Peter were slowly becoming Carol and Tony's proteges in strengths. When Vision had come by with a short explanation that he wished to 'visit' the new team, it was Carol that Tony had relied on for a second opinion. The android had been living at the Mansion with them for the past week, in which they had all learnt that he was determined to learn cooking but was incredibly bad at it.

"Talk about death off the field is bad for team morale, Fearless Leader," Carol quipped and tapped at his shoulder to get going.

"We have enough teenagers on the team. Is it necessary to be like them?" Tony shot back being a second slow in ducking the thwack to his head.

"This coming from a man-child is quite complimentary," Carol sniffed and Tony rolled his eyes but put up his hands in surrender and got off his stool, instructing Friday to save and close the project before following Carol out of the workshop. They bantered to and fro as they reached the common floor and Tony was about to call for Kamala to get her Starkpod off the floor when he caught sight of a guest sitting in the living area. On the couch with Vision and an obliviously cheerful Kamala and a confused yet attempting to be charming Dante. Peter, on a quick glance, was hovering around near the kitchen, eyeing the dishes in his suit.

"Did you know?" Tony asked Carol quietly and she shook her head with a slight frown.

"No, but Vision was a bit morose yesterday and -- is she a threat?" she asked finally and Tony was glad that she was as sensible as adventurous. He thought about the question for a minute, trying to figure out the probabilities and possible explanations. She  _could_ be a threat, there was no rose tinted view here, but Tony also knew enough to be self-aware that him considering her a threat was usually due to personal reasons and not actual threats. 

"Let me find out," he replied finally and walked up to the living area casually. As usual, Dante was the first one to catch sight of him and he raised an eyebrow in what the kid called the 'Cool Guy Loner Eyebrow' look.

"I'm starting to feel like the warden of this place who catches sneaky intruders and kids all over the place," he claimed and Wanda clearly startled but then turned around.

Tony felt his casual smirk falter when he took in the expression on her face when she saw him. He had always seen Wanda Maximoff wearing a confident expression in his presence. Even when they had dealt with the aftermath of Sokovia, she had never let herself show any vulnerability in his presence, either freezing up or edging in a suspicious manner. In the beginning, Tony was absolutely not interested in what she thought about him or what he should be thinking about her. The vision in his head would  _not go away_ and everytime he looked at her, he was reminded of what she was capable of. It was clear that she had felt uncomfortable around him too, so the whole avoiding each other till absolutely necessary to share the same air-space was mutual. 

But then Tony had quit the team and Wanda had joined the team and Rhodey had joined the team too, which meant that Tony had visited the team sometimes and had met Wanda a few times too. They were courteously and pointedly outside each other's circles though, even if Tony had begun to understand that Wanda had gone and gotten herself powers that she couldn't control all that well. There was no instruction manual, no guide which told her where her limit lay and the thought of her having been under Hydra's disastrous 'culture' only added to Tony's doubts that she would have serious problems if and when she messed up. He had observed her getting Steve's protective treatment quite a lot many times and had heard from Rhodey about incidents at the Compound when they were a team and Wanda had faltered in her powers. The problem was that Tony knew what it was like to be in her shoes - to have destroyed lives in your carelessness and then doing all that you could to save people when you tried to live a better life. He knew that but that didn't mean that he could do anything about it, not till Wanda looked at him like she would rather bolt than talk to him. He didn't begrudge her that, he had felt a nervousness himself.

He wasn't kidding when he had told Steve that he had been trying to protect her though. Yes, he had gathered over the last period of time post the fight that he could have and maybe should have handled that part better but he hadn't lied about his intention.

And now Wanda was looking at him as though  _she_ was wary and nervous regarding  _him_.

"Hey, come to gatecrash Vision's dinner party?" he asked in what he hoped was a casual voice and Wanda stared at him quietly for a minute before her eyes flicked beyond him to Carol and then back to him.

"No, I -- I came to talk to you actually," she said softly and Tony barely kept his eyebrows from flying into his hairline, shooting a quick look at Vision who was calmly regarding both of them.

"Sure?" he said unsurely and Wanda looked hesitant, eyes darting around the room once before she looked back at Tony with what resembled a slightly pleading look. He considered the situation for a minute before taking a deep breath and snapping his fingers at Peter.

"Hey, Spidey, get the dinner started without me, I'll make a fashionably late appearance in some time," he declared and turned to face Wanda, "Hey, you've probably not seen the penthouse, right?"

"Neither have I," Carol inserted herself neatly and Tony raised an eyebrow at her when she joined them in walking towards the elevator, but the woman simply stared back with challenge. Carol had no bone to pick against the old team but she was always cautious as a practice. Wanda didn't seem to mind, though she did get a sad look in her eyes that sort of looked like understanding. They rode the elevator in silence and Tony cast a worried look in Wanda's direction twice, going through endless possibilities for her appearance. He was not one for patience but they were almost there and he could see that this was going to be some kind of heavy conversation.

As soon as they entered the penthouse's living room, Tony took a deep breath and looked at Wanda.

"Did somebody die?" he blurted and she frowned.

"What? No! Why -- Is that what you thought?" she shook her head and Tony relaxed a bit, removing the worst possibility from his list.

"Okay, now that I don't have a funeral to attend or plan," Tony saw Wanda shoot him a dry look but that was infinitely better than the earlier nervous one, "did something happen with the UN or Everett?"

"No," Wanda shook her head again and raised a hand when Tony opened his mouth again, "It's not related to the team. Well, not entirely. I - I came here to talk about me. And you."

"Honey, really sorry to disappoint but we won't work out that way," Tony said in a grave voice and shrugged at the stink eye he got.

"Don't be a dick..oh wait, you already are," Carol smiled sweetly from the armchair she was perched on and Tony winked at her obviously fake smile.

"I came to apologize," Wanda stated before any other question could be thrown and Tony opened his mouth before shutting it without a word. Carol looked between them for a minute before getting up and clearing her throat.

"Well, I think I'm going to go check your other rooms, Tony," she declared and walked away with a significant look at Tony. Tony would have made some sarcastic quip in response but he was still trying to wrap his head around the new revelation.

"Huh" he said succinctly and Wanda smiled a bit sadly before taking a breath and looking at her hands.

"Tomorrow is my birthday," she said and Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, happy birthday in advance?"

"It's also Pie--Pietro's birthday," she said, faltering over her brother's name and Tony felt a cold reminder of what it would mean for her to miss her twin on their birthday. He was absolutely horrible at offering comfort in his experience though and felt a bit awkward but she saved him from making an effort when she continued.

"When he was - before Ultron and our mess, me and him, we used to celebrate the day by recounting all the happy memories of our lives when they had been better and then we'd light two candles in memory of our parents," she said quietly, "Pietro always had more memories to remember than me. I think that was because he could hold on to more happiness than me. It was annoying sometimes because he also held a quicker temper but he...he was always the one who held on to hope better too."

"I was 15 when I saw the missile, your missile land in my home," she said with a faraway look, "I didn't know anything about you then, or why we were being attacked. But after that, after those three excruciating days, you were all me and Pietro thought about for years."

"That's kind of stalkerish," Tony murmured to break the tension but Wanda simply shook her head.

"It was obsessive. For me, my life had stopped with that missile. I had lost everything and I used that anger in trying to find a way to ensure that no other Sokovian would suffer a similar fate," she continued, "But I couldn't do that. Not with who I was. We were just kids, unknown, nameless and faceless youngsters with rage and pain. Nobody took notice and we could do nothing beyond rallying."

She paused and swallowed hard before going on.

"And then we heard about Strucker," she said quietly before looking up finally at Tony, her eyes haunted, "All that promise, all that power fueled our need for vengeance. You know Hill once asked me what kind of people volunteer to get experimented on? Steve came in between and told her that people like him did it. You know, for some time I believed it and -- I guess I felt comforted by that assurance."

"Wanda, everyone knows what dicks Hydra are," Tony cut in to clarify, "They knew what they were doing with kids,  _which is what you were then_ , and if you're really regretting getting your powers then might I just say, it's pretty pointless?"

"I'm not regretting that," she said seriously before taking a deep breath and holding Tony's gaze, "I regret what I did using them."

Tony felt his world narrow down to that moment and for once, was better off being speechless.

"It's been a year since I showed you that vision and helped strengthen the monster who destroyed my country and my brother," she said in a shaky voice and Tony swallowed the lump in his throat, "One year. And I haven't once answered for anything I did. Nobody forced me to, or made me present myself and my case in front of any judge or jury."

"Technically, neither was I forced to do so," Tony remarked in a subdued voice but the Scarlet Witch shot him a look.

"But you faced the people, didn't you?" she asked pointedly and Tony inhaled sharply but Wanda's eyes lost the edge to them and became grieving again, "I don't -- I have already said my piece about Ultron and have commented on his likeliness to you before. But I never had to face the questions about what  _I_ did in that mess. I never had to look at a dead son's mother and hear her say that I killed her son. I was shielded, protected and given excuse for things that I shouldn't -- that people don't forget. I didn't have to do that but you did and I never told you that I'm sorry. It started with me, I know that, and I am, Tony, I am sorry."

"Wanda, what are you -"

"I also get it now," she cut Tony short and looked back at him, her eyes calm even though slightly red-rimmed, "What you meant when you said that you were protecting me."

Tony kept silent for a minute, digesting that bit of information before attempting a smirk.

"Would have been real useful before you threw a ton weight of cars on me," he said with a shrug and Wanda looked uncertain for a minute before she tried a small smirk.

"That was for not talking to me about the decision before you took it," she said with a raised eyebrow and Tony mirrored her expression before grinning.

"Alright, I'll take that," he nodded and she nodded in return, a small relief shining in her eyes.

"I also wanted to explain about Lagos," she started but this time Tony raised a hand to stop her.

"No, don't," he said and shook his head firmly when she frowned, "Seriously, don't. I got the report about that and listen, I've been on disastrous missions and I know a mess up when I see one. Lagos was a screw up but Wanda, as someone who knows their math well, I'm telling you that there really was no right choice there. It was just like in Sokovia: do you save the people down on the ground or up in the air? You did mess up, but that was not just on you."

"Are you saying I'm innocent?" she asked skeptically but he snorted and shook his head.

"No, hell no," he winced when she flinched at the vehemence of the answer, "I didn't mean it with that much of force, but, no, I don't think you're innocent. Because I meant it when I told Steve that you are a weapon of mass destruction."

Wanda clenched her jaw and inhaled sharply at that before nodding once but Tony was calm and continued.

"What I think I forgot though, was that I created a weapon of mass destruction myself and he's sitting downstairs feeding people horrible food," he said and Wanda's eyes widened but he waved his hand dismissively, "I say things the way I see them, Wanda, you know that. But that doesn't mean that I place the blame of everything on you or him or anybody."

"If I hadn't pushed up the gas -"

"If Crossbones hadn't chosen a crowded marketplace, if Steve hadn't ordered the hit in the crowded marketplace, if Nat or Sam had assisted Steve in fighting Crossbones, if Crossbones hadn't mentioned about Bucky, if Steve hadn't gotten distracted..." Tony recited while ticking off on his fingers, "Do you know how many possibilities there are to avoid a result after you've seen the result happen? Endless. But in that moment, when you have to choose between two and twenty? You make a choice. And it is always a screw up because whatever you chose, you end up killing someone."

Tony breathed in and leaned forward.

"Look, Steve...he's a guy who has had training and got acclimatized to war and death. He believes in moving forward and focusing on the next person to save. That's okay, that's a positive way to stay on track," Tony said quietly, "I try functioning that way sometimes but I can't. I can't move forward without knowing that I'm fixing where I screwed up. Or at least preventing further screw ups. I don't know or care which way is the right one to go because both ways tell you to keep your chin up and save people."

He shrugged apologetically and continued.

"I don't think you're innocent, Wanda. I think you're potentially dangerous. But the thing is, so are every single one of us clearly," he said, "Bruce doesn't mean to kill but when the Hulk loses control, Harlem Shakes. Clint doesn't mean to kill but when he gets his mind fucked by Loki, he ends up killing his own friends. Natasha...sometimes means to kill but she's also smart enough to get her job done without it. You think Steve isn't dangerous? He is indestructible without any gadgets or gimmicks necessary. If he ever turns into a super-villain, the world is done for, with his strategist brain and supersoldier strength. I don't even have to explain about myself, what with the whole Ultron fiasco. We weren't chosen as the Avengers because we're cute and cuddly. We were chosen because we're adrenaline junkies with specific skill sets who are luckily on the side of the angels. So you want me to tell you that there's no blood on your hands or that you should be coddled, you're not getting it."

Wanda eyed him speculatively but kept her silence as he went on.

"But this fight, the one we all had? It was on all of us. It was stupid and the very same thing that the public feared we would do. We were divided and we tore ourselves apart like cotton candy," Tony chuckled bitterly, "Yes, I was trying to protect you, from the exact thing that the idiots did to you in the end. So I'll take your apology for the car crash. But I never told you about my plan to protect you and took your decision for you. If I were in your place, I guess I would have rebelled too. I kind of did when I was dying of palladium in my chest. So what I pulled on you, that was a dick move. I do that a lot. I'm sorry about that."

The Scarlet Witch considered Tony for a minute before her lips kicked up with a small smirk.

"Thank you," she said and Tony nodded, "And about that vision...I really am sorry for that. I was blinded by my hatred and anger."

"It's not something I might forget anytime soon but...I think I know a thing or two about rage and hatred," Tony shrugged and smiled sadly, "You know, having pulled a similar move on Barnes when I learnt of my parents' murder?"

Wanda gave him an understanding look and a small smile. Tony didn't know why but he felt a small part of him sag in relief and feel elated at that smile, like he had made peace with some demon of his past. He hadn't realized before but he felt like he shared some sort of similarity in fate and destiny with this young girl who had once tried to kill him and was now here as a survivor on her own.

"I'm sorry about the Raft," Tony said suddenly, feeling the need to clear all the things, "What they did to you -- you didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"You didn't do it," Wanda shrugged but her eyes were tight and shoulders hunched.

"True," Tony nodded, "but still. In the spirit of apologizing for every imagined and real slight I guess, take this one too?"

The younger woman shot him a look but there was no real anger or heat in it, before she nodded. They sat in awkward silence for a while after that and Tony felt like he would burst into hives when she spoke up a bit shyly.

"So, how bad is Viz's cooking now?" she asked and Tony grinned wide.

"Want to find out?" he offered and Wanda looked surprised, "Come on, join us for dinner. Or communal suicide, as I call it, because Vision is a terrible cook."

"He used something that tasted like brickdust instead of paprika once. Because both of them were of the same color," Wanda shared and Tony's eyes widened comically.

"Oh God, so what will he use instead of salt?!" he gasped and Wanda chuckled despite herself.

"Everything okay?" they heard a voice and saw Carol re-enter the room, looking between them curiously.

"Yeah, I was just inviting Wanda to dinner," Tony said quickly and looked at Wanda for her answer. She stared back at him for a minute before smiling at Carol.

"Or partake in the communal suicide," she nodded and Carol snorted as Tony hissed a  _Yess_ at his phrase gaining popularity.

As she watched Carol and Tony bicker over popular phrases, Wanda felt lighter in a way she hadn't felt for a long time. Closing her eyes briefly, she hoped that wherever he was, Pietro would be watching and would know that his sister was finally learning to live and let go. That was the only gift she could give him this time, for helping her get a second chance at life.

************

Wanda left the Mansion with a promise to visit Kamala and Carol later and a quiet but pleased goodbye from Vision. She gave Tony the infamous beetle phone that he had once thrown at Steve and had asked him to call if possible.

_"Maybe it's time for new beginnings all around," she said cryptically and Tony raised an eyebrow at her but took the thing nonetheless, offering no promises except for a wish for everyone back at the Compound._

He didn't call that night. Or the next morning. Or the next night.

The day after that, Carol gave him an unimpressed look when she caught him staring at it for the hundredth time and told him to either call or go through an hour sparring with her without caffeine.

Tony hadn't called someone so fast in his entire life.

Steve had stunned him when he had invited Tony for breakfast at a small diner Tony had introduced him to years ago. Tony had called him a freeloader. Steve had dismissed that by saying he'd pay. 

Which was how they found themselves at  _Waffley Good_ in the wee hours of the morning (at least to Tony it was the wee hours. Steve looked like it was the afternoon). 

"So," Tony cut up his banana waffles and looked up at Steve who was wolfing down his own chocolate chip plate, "I had a strange visitor at the Mansion a couple of days back."

Steve frowned and reached forward to pick up the syrup from the center of the table.

"An attack?"

"Emotional attack, maybe," Tony pointed with his fork, "Did something happen back at your place in the past week?"

"A lot of things happen 'back at my place', Tony," Steve said with an amused roll of his eyes, "which one are you talking about?"

"Something related to Modern Morgana?" Tony persisted and Steve frowned again.

"Wanda? Why?"

"She came to visit me, that's why," Tony said, "And it was ..."

"Jesus! Did something happen?" Steve asked with wide eyes and Tony snorted at the worried expression.

"Apart from me getting my emotional quota of the year shot to hell? Nope, nothing else," Tony said and sighed when Steve gave him his patented Expecting More Info Soldier expression, "She...apologized."

Steve ignored the theatrical shudder at the last word in favor of looking calmer.

"Oh"

" _Oh?_ " Tony echoed before raising an eyebrow, "I tell you that Wanda Maximoff voluntarily came to apologize to me and your eloquent response is 'oh'? Geez, Rogers, never join the debate club."

"I'd do better in the art ones anyway," Steve shrugged with a small smirk before sighing at Tony's narrowed eyes, "Is it really that wrong that she came to talk to you?"

"No, not wrong. But it was kind of unexpected"

"Or maybe a long time coming," Steve countered and raised a finger when Tony opened his mouth, to obviously make a sexual joke, "Don't. We're eating."

"You're shockingly no fun," Tony grumbled around a mouthful of syrup-ed waffles before swallowing to continue, "But seriously, what the hell sparked that off?"

Steve seemed to debate internally about the answer but finally sighed and replied.

"Natasha"

"That...is surprisingly no surprising enough," Tony mused.

"And Clint"

" _That_ is surprising," Tony raised an eyebrow, "What the hell did Birdbrain do to his precious chick?"

Steve quelled him with a look but Tony kept up his questioning look and finally Steve sighed again.

"There was a ... discussion between Natasha and Clint about him handling his tension with Laura," Steve began haltingly, looking troubled, "Words were exchanged, things were thrown. Laura apparently is considering separation and Clint refuses to go back home to sort things out with her. I tried talking about it to him but -- he's not all that responsive regarding the subject. The only person he doesn't flare up with nowadays is Rhodes and Rhodes point blank refused to get involved in this mess. So when things got to a limit, Nat decided to take matters into her hands and there was an explosive fight between them. Wanda - Wanda got involved in between. I think she was trying to defend Clint on some point or maybe trying to resolve the fight."

"And Lady Ivan didn't take it too well," Tony guessed and Steve nodded shortly.

"She cut her short and reminded her of a few things. Clint lashed out too."

"Natasha was always good at knocking people down a peg or two," Tony sighed and Steve shot him a funny look but he didn't bother, "So Nat sent her to apologize?"

"No," Steve shook his head and wiped his fingers on a napkin, "That was all Wanda. She has been looking into the Accords and its research too. I think...I think she has been keeping a lot of things inside, probably right from Sokovia."

"Hmmm," Tony hummed into his own napkin, "I guess everybody has."

Steve stared at Tony and nodded.

"I guess so," he agreed, "We weren't the same team after it."

"And we didn't trust each other enough," Tony chimed in pointedly, "Not even to say things that should have been told in time."

Steve inhaled sharply at that.

"That seemed to happen all around," he said tightly and Tony frowned.

"What does that mean?" he asked, "You were the one who kept secrets from me."

"Was I the only one?" Steve countered, his eyes flashing in defiance, "Tell me Tony, when did you know about the Accords?"

"What are you even talking -"

"Don't. Don't bullshit me, Tony," Steve said sharply and Tony's own eyes narrowed, "Did you really not know about the Accords before us? Did you find out just three days short of the ratification?"

"It didn't matter, Rogers, the document was going to be passed no matter what."

"But you knew about it," Steve pointed out, "You knew about it for a longer time, because such a document doesn't get drafted overnight, does it? You knew about it probably even before Lagos happened and yet you didn't tell me. Didn't tell us. You waited till Ross pushed us into a corner and then gave us a sign or leave option. And I wasn't wrong when I said that you had already decided your choice, was I?"

"We needed accountability, Steve" Tony said in retort but didn't deny Steve's accusation.

"We needed time and we needed a safer environment to discuss," Steve shook his head, "Tony, you made the decision of the Accords for all of us even before Ross came in. You even said that there was no decision making process! How is that possible when this was meant for the entire team? And when I said no, you brought out other tactics. Tell me Tony, the pen and the conversation we had at the HQ, were you not trying to manipulate me?"

"Boy, you're digging up rotting graves," Tony scoffed but Steve narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe those graves need to be aired out in the open. To clear out the dirt"

"I did what I thought was right, Steve!"

"So did I!" Steve shot back and Tony snapped his mouth shut. Steve visibly deflated a bit, "So did I, Tony and that should say something about the whole situation, shouldn't it? I kept a secret from you thinking I was doing the right thing, thinking I was protecting people I cared about but I was fooling myself, because I was only trying to protect myself. You kept a secret from us thinking you were doing the right thing, thinking you were protecting us and keeping us together but it only ended up pushing people away."

"I deserved to know about my parents, Steve" Tony grit out.

"Yes. Yes, you did. And I was wrong to keep it from you. But Tony, the team, they are people I care about too. I deserved to know about the threat to them too," Steve said softly. Both men fell into an awkward silence for a few minutes, avoiding each other's gaze.

"Zemo's entire plan," Steve said quietly, "hinged on the fact that we didn't trust each other. That we would keep secrets from each other. That we wouldn't trust each other. That I wouldn't trust you. I know, I know that part of it is my own prejudice and mistake. God, if I could change that, I would Tony, because I know that I was wrong. But there is also the truth that has to be acknowledged."

Steve looked up and caught Tony's gaze with his own.

"I didn't trust you," he said simply and Tony felt the wind knocked out of him at the blunt truth. He knew it, he had always suspected it in the back of his mind, right from Sokovia, but hearing it in the open somehow made it more real. The strange part was that he didn't actually feel bad about it, maybe because he knew it anyway. There was no chance that something as huge as Ultron could have passed without having any effect on the team, on the dynamics between Tony and the team, but they never spoke about it before. There was always a cover-up, a curtain drawn to hide that ugly part, to act as though everything was hunky dory. It was sweeping broken pieces under the rug and that would have worked fine in the past but those broken pieces were pricking their feet whenever they tried to move past it. Tony had always been a fixer but Steve had always been one to push it all down and jump into the next distraction. This facade had strained them, making them wary of each other in ways that should not have been healthy. Even though he didn't acknowledge it out loud, Tony knew that Steve was right about him keeping the Accords from him till the last moment, hoping that the restricted time would pressure him to take the decision. It was manipulative and sneaky, but Tony had been desperate. The weight of Sokovia, of the numbers and the people was getting too heavy to carry and he had thought that having somebody else draw a line for him would prevent him from doing anything similar in the future. And when Lagos happened, he wanted the same to apply to Steve and Wanda too. 

"I didn't trust you too," Tony said in a rare burst of truth but Steve didn't seem surprised. He simply nodded.

"I know," he replied with a small smile that bordered on sadness, "And we should have talked about that a long time ago. We tried to push our fears and concerns under the rug -"

"- and gave ammunition to a stranger to pull us apart with that knowledge," Tony completed the sentence, remembering the ease with which Zemo had played them all. "He didn't even need to call an army, unlike Loki. We did all the heavy work for him ourselves, didn't we?"

Steve didn't say anything but his eyes did. Tony sighed and felt the defensiveness go out of him.

"What do we do now, Steve? This thing doesn't stop following us around and -- there are other enemies out there," Tony waved in the direction of the window, "who'll be threatening the world someday. I know that I have a new team and that's great but the world will need us **all** at some point. If this is how we are going to be, if we can't work together then things won't be fine for long."

"We can't always fix what happened in the past," Steve said and looked at Tony, continuing before Tony could cut in, "we can't do that, but we can always try to start fresh. The past will always exist, Tony, I know that. But the present gives us a chance to decide our future. My entire life has been a learning of that. We, all of us, came together during strange times and then stranger things happened, but we survived them all. We might have lost track at some point, Tony, but we're still here, still trying to look out for each other. That should mean that we have a chance, we have potential. If we try, if we try sincerely and with no big secrets or half-truths, we could start something new. If we're willing."

Tony considered the man sitting in front of him. There were a lot of things about Steve that irked him, just as he knew that there were things about him that irked Steve. But he could not deny that when the push to save the world, or save one among them came, Steve never backed out. Steve wasn't always honest, no matter what he projected, but Tony knew from experience that neither was he. What was significant was to know if people would lie to hurt or to save, because by now Tony had long thrown out the concept of honesty being the best policy. People like them didn't function like that. They had their own pasts, fears and insecurities to guard. They led lives that made them consider paranoia normal. They were unhealthy, all of them, but they marched through that to save the day when need came. Steve lied about his problems and difficulties when he thought that he was protecting people. Tony lied about his fears and faults when he thought that he was protecting people. They were both liars but they were liars with noble intentions. Tony snorted mentally at that phrase, knowing that they would make a psych's field day hell with their instabilities. 

There was a lot of troubled water between them but Tony was the same man who had befriended Natasha Romanoff and Steve was the same man who had trusted Wanda Maximoff. They weren't normal and they had survival instincts of a mayfly. But they also cared about each other and after all the denying and the fighting, wasn't that what it came down to? So yes, there was troubled water, but Tony was an engineer and Steve was an artist. Maybe they could build a bridge over it.

"You remember how I told you that I don't trust a guy without a dark side?" Tony asked and Steve snorted but nodded, "Well, even though it wasn't an invitation for you to show me yours, I did come to see it."

"And?" Steve asked without rising to the bait.

"And I think I've gotten over the surprise bit," Tony said simply, "So now we should start building that bridge."

Steve's answering small but genuine smile somehow managed to elicit a grin from Tony too, before the moment was broken by the waitress coming for a refill of the syrup and pouring it down Steve's shirt in her fumble.

All in all, it was a nice breakfast and Tony decided to make a habit out of it, even if to just escape Vision's food. They met over for breakfast waffles whenever both of them didn't have any other emergencies or appointments and Tony slowly learned that there was much more to Steve than just the man who volunteered to die for his country.

Like his inability to keep his knee from jiggling whenever he was a bit too hungry and the syrup refill was taking too long.

"Behave" Tony mock tutted and Steve raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, I am not taking that from _you_ , Mr. Footsie With Fury," Steve huffed and Tony snorted into his coffee.

"Ah, good times," Tony hummed dreamily making Steve roll his eyes remembering the time when Tony had played footsie with Fury, making it seem like  _Steve_ was the one doing it, because Steve had been amicably nodding to what the ex-Director had been talking. That had been one of the times that had been part of the reasons Steve didn't faze at most things nowadays. You cannot blush at anything once you're done explaining to Nick Fury that you aren't romantically attracted towards him.

"But on a serious note," Tony continued his earlier rant and Steve snapped back to the present, "I really think Carol wants to kill me sometimes."

"Another normal day in our lives, Tony"

"It's not good for team-work if one of my team-mates makes death-threats when I'm in my shower, Steven"

"There is not a single team-mate you hasn't made death threats to you till date, _Anthony_ "

"I noticed that you ignored the shower part and you never made death threats"

"I learn new things every day" Steve shrugged, "Also, I knew better ways to make you stop blowing up my things". Tony smirked and Steve rolled his eyes at the completely mature waggle of eyebrows he got.

"Oh, my baby is all grown up" Tony said with a sniff and Steve sighed into his waffles.

"Thanks,  _mom_ "

"Oh, I am not taking that from  _you_ , Mr. Murica," Tony said airily and Steve smartly ignored asking about the ridiculous nickname as the waitress came to ask if they needed anything else. Tony messed with her for a minute, asking for items he clearly knew that they didn't have before Steve gave her his 'show' smile and politely refused anything else.

"This is nice" Tony said after a minute and Steve looked up from his waffles with a small frown to see Tony staring pointedly at his own half-eaten plate.

"What is?"

"This. Us talking normally," Tony shrugged and Steve didn't know what to respond to that, because it was true and also sad in a way. When they had been in the same team before, they hardly spent time together just to talk to each other and relax. Now, in this mom and pop diner, wearing ridiculous caps that they hoped disguised them well, they were at ease as just Tony and Steve. Things hadn't been completely resolved between them and Steve doubted they ever would. But they were better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before. It felt like they were unlearning and learning simultaneously but whatever it was, this was a time neither of them wanted to begrudge.

"Tomorrow let's try the buttermilk waffles" Steve suggested instead of saying anything emotional and Tony huffed a small chuckle, signalling that Steve had taken another right decision.

Except for the tiny part where the next day, Tony and his team was called upon to do a HYDRA bust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony has more than 50 years of canon being the ultimate dad, so yes, he will be the embarrassingly annoying yet intensely protective dad figure. It's hilarious how much Steve and Tony have been the dads in canon (comics) for so long and yet people wonder if Tony/Steve will make good caretakers/guardians with their 'issues'. Also, I went through a LONG phase of absolutely detesting MCU Wanda's arc and characterization (or butchering rather) to come to terms with the place where I am at right now. She is NOT just a kid but she is also not entirely confident or in control of who she is. She needs accountability as much as the next person but she also needs people to give space for her to take it. Babying or coddling will NOT help anyone goddammit! (side-eyeing MCU). But the truth remains that Tony saw her as a "weapon of mass destruction", which isn't entirely false but it isn't what you'd call a team-mate either. I don't condone what Clint and Steve did but I also don't condone the idea of Tony not even talking to Wanda about his plan to keep her safe or protect her, because he's taking decisions for her. Yes, Lagos was terrible but Wanda didn't deliberately kill all those people. She tried to save the people on the ground. It was Steve who got distracted by Crossbones. It's a conundrum and a complicated situation but both these people deserved to be honest with each other because they have hurt each other a lot in the past, even though they are both victims.  
> Also, I have beautiful ideas and headcanons of how Wanda and Carol could become great friends. I SHALL UNLEASH ALL OF THEM IN THIS FIC! MWAHAHAHA!
> 
> In other news, Avengers Assemble is the best goddamn characterization of all the characters and nobody can convince me otherwise because I die when they get everything right. Hey Joss, maybe you should watch some cartoons, yeah? (I am SO BITTER over the butchering of Steve in the Avengers and Tony in AOU that I cannot express it enough). In case any of you are looking for some inspiration to get your Tony/Steve characterizations, please watch that show. It may be a cartoon and it may be silly but do they get things right where it matters or what. That's one of the reasons I have Dante here because, damn, the last episode I saw was SPOT ON.
> 
> Sorry if this came out as a bit of a filler. We'll have a lot of action in the next two chapters to compensate for it. 
> 
> After the long rant I ask for only one thing: feedback please <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hydra does half the recruiting for the Avengers sometimes ;) Two ladies enter the fic in this chapter and I LOVE it :D
> 
> Please welcome Steve's depression and beginning of a long awaited meltdown, a few introspection moments for the 'sidekicks' or 'forced love interests' (snort) and some resolutions of friendship. 
> 
> Side note: A shoutout to all the beautiful people who comment on this story with thoughts and opinions that help me see things I might have missed or things I got right. A writer is truly blessed when her readers take personal interest in a story and show their care for it. Kudos and pats on the back are great but it's discussions, questions, doubts and analyses that make a good story great. I am the one writing this story but it is you guys who breathe life into it with your unwavering support and encouragement. I love you all, my darlings.

There was a sense of foreboding that came to soldiers through experience and situations of the past. It began as an itch right over the heart, sending warning signals to the brain about an impeding doom. Steve had that imbibed in him from the 40's, even before he wore a uniform. Maybe it was the consequence of being a little guy with a big will or a stubborn streak wider than his waist. Or maybe it was a second nature gifted to him in compensation for the endless ailments dumped into his body.

Whatever it was, it had saved Steve's and his friends' lives countless times. It was a friend in every need and it never asked for anything in return.

Quite similar to the person Steve had set out to meet today, in lieu of going to breakfast with Tony, especially when the man had been called off to a mission apparently. Natasha had gathered enough intel to know that it was related to Hydra and that was enough to set Steve on an edge, like everything related to that dastardly name did. He had needed a distraction that didn't involve the gym or whipping his team into shape, since the gym was being hoarded by Clint and Natasha for some long-time awaited duel to sort some things out. And the rest of his team-mates were scattered, busy with some thing or another. He had sent in his approved version of the Accords last night and had some free time on hand. It seemed like a good idea to go visit her now, especially since they hadn't spoken after her help in getting him his shield in Germany.

The ride down to the headquarters was a quiet one and Steve breathed in a bit of freedom as he weaved his way around the traffic of the streets. Finally, as he reached the building complex, he caught a couple of guards pausing mid-conversation and stare at him with what looked like wariness. Steve thought about staring back but let that pettiness go in favor of going forth with his objective.

Sharon came out to meet him in the cafeteria when he informed her that he had arrived.

"Hi there, stranger," she smiled slightly as she walked in and took a seat on his table, "Finally caught some time to meet up, hmm?"

"Yeah, sorry about that, was busy being on the run for a while and then trying to stop running," Steve shrugged with an easy smile in return that got him a slightly raised eyebrow, "Coffee?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll get it," she waved him off in his attempt to get her some and placed her order through a hand gesture to the girl manning the coffee counter before turning around and looking at Steve again, "So, what's new in your world? Any new drama imploded yet?"

"My world? It's not quite different from yours I'm sure," Steve chuckled but Sharon shook her head.

"Trust me, it's a lot different," she said quietly and Steve felt an awkwardness set in till Sharon cleared her throat and went up to get her coffee. Steve noticed a couple of other agents glancing his way from a table across but Sharon came back, cutting short that distraction.

"How are you?" he asked as she sipped on her cup and he swirled his half-drunk cup, "How're things at work here?"

"It's okay. Good and bad days are a mix," Sharon shrugged, "Though it did get a bit tense after Germany."

"For you or in general?" Steve asked with a slight frown, noting the slight furrow of Sharon's brow.

"Both," she said with a wry smile, "When word got out that someone sneaked out the ... _you know what,_ there was a lot of questioning going around."

"And you -"

"I'm good at my job, Steve," Sharon cut him short pointedly, "And anyway, it's not like the first time people have rebelled at a government funded agency. What has to be done, has to be done."

"Yeah," Steve said faintly and took a sip of his drink as Sharon looked over his shoulder.

"Heard Tony's got his own team now," she said after a while and Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he got to pick his roster," he nodded, "The UN thought a fresh start would be a good foot to step out with."

"Hmmm," Sharon hummed around her cup, swallowing a mouthful of the bitter liquid, "And you guys? What're you doing?"

"We're...waiting for a new mission, I suppose," he said with a hunched shrug that got a sharp look from the woman.

"I see," she commented quietly and remained silent for a minute before leaning forward a bit, "So, how're things with you and Tony."

"We're...okay. Sorting things out steadily," Steve quipped feeling a bit unnerved by the intense stare he got in return.

"Really," Sharon said dryly and Steve frowned but she waved a hand dismissively, "Want some sandwiches? I'm starving."

Steve shrugged in acceptance and Sharon placed an order for two plates. As they sat munching on their sandwiches, Sharon spoke up again.

"You know, I always wondered. Where did you learn how to use the shield?" Sharon asked casually, "I've seen you throw it around like it's a boomerang but, seriously, did you have some kind of training for this?"

"A bit self-taught. Some sound science from Howard," Steve replied and then quietened as he mentioned his old friend. Sharon hummed in acknowledgement.

"And where did you learn to drop the shield?" she asked and Steve whipped his head up with a frown, "You know, since you obviously dropped it without a second thought in an abandoned Hydra shelter. Along with a fallen team-mate. Just curious, did you learn that too from Howard Stark? Abandoning things that matter to people?"

"What're you - who told you?" Steve asked in a hushed and painful voice but Sharon shot him an unimpressed look.

"Steve, if I can manage to get you your shield, I can also manage to find out what happened to it when you disappeared," she said sharply, all fire and Peggy's commanding eyes, "Also, I've known Tony Stark longer than you. It's not everyday that he fails to apprehend two supersoldiers who are no match for him if he fires on all cylinders and artillery. You've got your strength and shield. He's got an armour of missiles and tech that can blow people up from a hundred feet. I'm not naive or clueless."

"So you know what happened," Steve commented quietly and Sharon stared at him analytically but nodded once.

"He called me to applaud my spy skills," she chuckled and shook her head, "And also to tell me to stay clear of possible threats."

"I didn't know you two were close"

"Yeah, well, you obviously don't know a lot about people you're friends with," Sharon shrugged but shot him a pointed look that spoke volumes, "Anyway, I asked him about you when he called."

"What'd he say?"

"Said Captain America is dead," Sharon said casually and Steve gripped his coffee cup tightly, relaxing when she noted it, "And that some Brooklyn kid had gone back home."

"That's...something that would make sense in his way," Steve commented wryly and Sharon laughed.

"He always did have a way with words," she nodded before catching Steve's gaze, "But what I was surprised by, was your lack of words. Or should I say, omission of words?"

"Sharon..."

"I get it, don't worry," she shook her head, "I get why you didn't tell him."

"You do?"

"Yeah, it's not an easy conversation, is it? Telling your temperamental team-mate that your best friend killed his parents while under mind-control? That's like jumping out of an airplane without a chute," she said with a small grin before cocking her head, "Oh wait, you've already done  _that_."

"You're angry with me," Steve surmised grimly.

"I'm entitled to be, don't you think? I put my neck on the line for you," she pointed out.

"Sharon, you did that for the mission," he countered a bit defensively and Sharon grinned, all sharp teeth.

"Yeah, and you clearly failed in that mission," she said bluntly, "In fact, you ended up helping Zemo win in most aspects."

"I didn't know about Zemo's -"

"Oh cut the crap, Steve," she interrupted quietly, "This isn't a 'who's more wrong' game. It's a fact - you made me pick up your shield to help you stop an evil mission and ended up dropping it with ease when you got what you wanted. Okay, I get that it was  _your_ shield in the first place, but you seemed to have forgotten that there were others who placed their trust in you. In Captain America. If you wanted to drop that part of yourself, you owed it to them to at the very least do it in a way that didn't make their belief feel wrong. Also, don't think I'll forget that you left a team-mate to hang dry in an abandoned bunker. Especially someone who put his own neck in the line to come and save your ass. So if you're going to defend yourself, at least have something logical or substantial to say."

"Maybe I should leave," Steve said through gritted teeth and Sharon scoffed a laugh.

"Sure, you seem to have gotten good at that"

Steve bit back a flinch at that and suddenly saw the similarity between another familiar sassy person and Sharon. Sharon held his glare with her own till Steve breathed out and broke the gaze.

"I'm sorry I put you in trouble," he said quietly, even though they both knew that Sharon had done what she did of her own accord.

"Don't apologize for things you cannot fix. Fix things you cannot apologize enough for," Sharon said as she stared out over Steve's shoulder and finished her sandwich in silence. Once they had gotten their basic anger out of the way, Sharon was more subdued and relaxed in conversation, even if her questions and replies were a tad awkward.

"It was good to see you again, Sharon," Steve said when they finally got up and Sharon turned to go back to work.

"It's good to have you back, Rogers," Sharon said in reply and shot him a cheeky grin, "And thanks, by the way."

"For what?"

"Well, you asked me for a coffee a long time back and I said later. It looks like we just had a later," she said with a grin and Steve smiled, "But I'm thinking that this later has been sufficient, don't you think?"

"Aww, come on Carter, you're giving me the dump?" Steve asked with a teasing smirk.

"It's not everyday that a girl can say that she kissed Captain America and found that he could do better," she shrugged and Steve winced exaggeratedly, "Anyway, I don't think we're each other's type."

"We aren't?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, one Carter-Rogers romance is enough for the history books, don't you think?" Sharon asked back and Steve huffed out a small laugh but nodded at the polite rejection.

"Take care, Sharon," he waved goodbye.

"You too, Steve," she shot him a salute and walked away back to her floor, leaving Steve to stand with a soft yet tired smile. He gathered his cap and took off for the Compound himself, walking to the elevator to go down. The elevator seemed to be in use in a lower floor and Steve pressed for it before standing to wait.

"You going down?" a man looking in his 60s asked as he came to stand beside Steve, looking up at the indicator of the elevator.

"Yeah, going home," Steve answered with a polite nod of his head. He noticed the blue bag clutched in the man's arms and caught sight of the CIA logo. In an attempt to keep the thoughts of the Hydra mission at bay, he tried to make small talk to the man. 

"You work here?" he asked casually and the man shook his head, shooting a half-amused glance Steve's way. 

"Ex-pilot,  **830th** Panama. Forced early retirement in '91," the man gestured to his leg and Steve shot a quick look, "Wasn't even injured at work. Got hit by a rushing truck on my way home, had an amputation and TBI declared."

"So what do you do now?" Steve asked with a bit more relaxed curiosity.

"Run a restaurant. Family business," the man grinned, "Best Greek food you can find around the block."

"I'll take your word for it," Steve grinned back and looked straight when the elevator pinged and opened on their floor. Both of them got in and Steve pressed the button for their common destination.

"You here to visit a friend?" the man asked after a minute and Steve nodded.

"Yeah, can't seem to catch her off the clock," he replied and the man thankfully didn't capitalize on the 'her' part of it, instead simply nodding with a knowing look. "You?" Steve asked out of common courtesy and the man smiled tightly.

"Here to collect my son's things. Damn kid left it all behind," he shook his head and Steve frowned.

"Is he quitting?"

"Nah, he's dead," the man said casually and Steve stilled. It wasn't that death scared him or made him anxious; Steve had seen, heard and known death intimately enough in his life. He perhaps knew more about death than about life, having felt ice's whispers for decades longer than sun's warmth. But something felt wrong in the moment. Something about the flippancy and casual demeanor of the father poked at a queasy part of him.

"That's - I'm sorry," Steve settled for and the older looking man shot him a sardonic look with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess you should be," he shrugged vaguely and Steve must have shown his wariness at that statement because the man continued, "You killed him after all."

Steve's entire existence came to a screeching halt in that sentence and he felt a dull roar in his ear. Caution and morbid curiosity were warring in his head and the casual silence after the accusation didn't help him in any way.

"I don't understand," he said in a voice he imagined sounded calm and collected, as opposed to the building panic in him. The man chuckled at that, mirthless yet civil.

"Of course you don't, you probably don't remember most of it," he said before cocking his head and giving Steve an analytical stare to search for something before he continued speaking.

"Abram, that's my son, was sent on a mission with his team some months back to Bucharest," the man said with a faraway look, looking forward at the mirrored door of the elevator.

Steve had a hint of where this was going and a slow horror began settling in his gut.

"I don't know what happened exactly but his team-mate told me that he got his head smashed in with a cinder block and was thrown down an apartment. There was also something involved about a metal arm punching his ribs so hard that they cracked and pierced his lungs," the man said blankly, turning to look at Steve with a detached gaze, "The doctors tried but even they couldn't cure punches of a supersoldier."

Steve tried to find his voice, tried to find a defense,  _any_ defense for this. He might have, he might have scrapped the barrel for one, even flimsiest sounding but the father continued without a care for a reply.

"You know what threw me for a spin when I heard the news? Knowing that they were blaming you and your legendary friend for it," the man shook his head with a self-deprecating smile, "I mean, how do you expect people to believe that a guy who picked up a shield and a helmet to protect people through decades, how do you expect people to believe that such a guy could ever kill a lawful, good citizen. A man who was doing his duty to his country and his people, by abiding by the law that saw someone as a potential threat to the people. How do you expect people to believe that Steve Rogers, the guy who told people to fight for what's right and protect the little guys, that Steve Rogers could ever obstruct justice or have a hand in voluntarily and directly hurting the law enforcement? That's a load of crock to believe, right?"

The man laughed, bitterness and sadness making a potent mix in the air that Steve breathed in shakily as the tired but detached gaze shifted back to him.

"But it's true, isn't it? Yeah, it is," the man said the latter words quietly to himself, shifting the bag higher in his arms, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to fight you here. Wouldn't think of doing that."

"Why?" the hoarse but subdued question escaped Steve's mouth even before he thought better of it.

"Because I can fight the biggest of villains if need be. But how do you fight a hero who wronged you?," the man asks quietly, a small challenge in his eyes, "When you guys fought those aliens in New York, we couldn't blame you for the destruction because you saved us. In DC, you exposed our lack of security. In Sokovia, you stopped a robot from destroying the world. What I don't understand, is whom you fought this time. Who were you protecting the people from? And if you weren't protecting the people, then were you fighting as Avengers or civilians? If you were fighting as civilians, then maybe I'd have a chance to fight you for my son's death. But everybody knows that you'll still be seen as heroes, wouldn't you? You'd still have the past to show as defense for the present. Captain Rogers, you can fight a lot of men, but you cannot fight a glorified hero who remains a legend. I'd rather use my time to save the family I have than lose anyone more in a lost fight."

The elevator pinged signalling that they had reached their destination and the father shifted the bag higher before nodding at Steve.

"You know, Captain, for the longest time, my wife and I tried to blame you for my kid's death," he said quietly, holding Steve's gaze, "We tried to find release in hatred but you know the saddest part? We couldn't keep that up for long. Because I've seen more life than you, Captain, even if you have seen more deaths and misery than me. I have seen enough life to know that you cannot hate a man who is broken and cannot fix himself. That man deserves your pity and if not that, your ignorance. But here's the catch, the big conundrum. If you are a broken man, if you are human and you get emotionally compromised by one man's life or death, do you deserve to have monopoly over a million lives' safety? Are you the safest hands if you aren't in the sanest of minds? Something to think about, right?"

The father stepped out of the elevator and turned around to flash Steve a small smile.

"If you're ever in the neighbourhood, do come over for a nice Greek meal. The restaurant's called  _Spitikó._ Look it up on the net, my grandson made the website."

With that last invitation, the father walked away without a backward glance, leaving Steve in a metal room that slowly closed in on itself. Steve stood stock still even as the elevator went up, staring at his reflection in the mirrored doors and not identifying the Steve Rogers who had picked up a shield.

If he traveled up and down two more times before he could find his strength to step out, well, there was nobody left to see a broken man anymore.

********

Tony fed the coordinates of the location Friday had decoded into the jet and looked to his side as Carol slipped into the co-pilot's chair.

"What? Don't trust me to fly this junk?" she asked with a challenging smirk and Tony raised a hand in a peace gesture.

"Hey, you're the one making assumptions," he said with a smirk himself, "And excuse you, this 'junk' is the coolest baby you'll ever fly."

"You clearly haven't flown many 'babies' yet then," the ex-pilot shot back and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Hey guys, in this fight do we have to kill anyone?" Dante asked from the hangar and Carol raised an eyebrow at Tony.

"We don't kill Inferno, we Avenge," Kamala corrected him, "Besides, Avengers don't take lives. Right Captain Marvel?"

"Yeah, we don't," Carol nodded.

"But Hydra does," Tony muttered under his breath and Carol cleared her throat sharply.

"Hey, do we wait for you to say a war cry before we attack?" Dante asked and Tony stifled the urge to groan.

"No, we don't," Kamala answered again primly, before sounding doubtful, "We don't, right?"

"As long as we're not wearing loin cloths and we're not fighting in Sparta, no, we're not waiting for a war cry," Tony said dryly.

" **Do** we have a war cry though?" Carol asked a tad too innocently and Tony shot her a look that promised decaf for weeks.

"Yeah, do we?" Dante persisted excitedly.

"No we don't" Tony said at the same time that Kamala said, "We should!"

"Danvers, I will crash this jet," Tony warned when he saw Carol open her mouth but she only scoffed.

"Eh, I've rescued many crashing planes," she said dismissively, "But on the important note, we should have a war cry. It'll make this sound more authentic."

"It'll make us look like fools," Tony countered.

"Wait, we look any different now?" Dante mused in a low voice and the others ignored him politely.

"How about Avengers Arise?" Kamala suggested.

"Nah, too archaic," Carol tutted, "Avengers Attack, sounds more aggressive, right?"

"Avengers Charge!" Dante yelled and made frickin clicking noises.

"Avengers Ahoy" Kamala piped up.

"What are we, Pirates of the Big Apple?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Avengers Ahead," Carol hummed and Tony was at his rope's ends by now.

"Avengers...Avenge?" Dante asked in confusion and Tony snapped.

"Avengers Assemble," he declared and saw Carol shoot him a curious look.

"Avengers Assemble," Kamala repeated, "Interesting, has a nice ring to it."

"But what if we're already assembled?" Dante countered.

"Then we freakin do our jobs," Tony informed firmly and heard Kamala snicker.

"Avengers Assemble, huh?" Carol asked in a low knowing tone, "Seems to me that you put some thought into it, Stark"

"It's an old reference," Tony said quietly and Carol thankfully refrained from prodding further, letting Tony focus on getting them to the located base without any more tension.

They reached the base in a quiet part of London right on time of their calculation and Tony gave out orders for all of them to roll out and look for the tipped Skrull ship that was said to be abandoned there and being used for experimentation by Hydra. 

"Inferno, I want you to keep an eye out on the exit. This is Hydra, they're bound to have traps," Tony said, "Mini-Hammer -"

"It's Ms. Marvel," Kamala said quietly but Tony rolled over her interruption.

"I want your eyes on any heavy machinery. Guards and agents me and Carol can handle, you focus on destroying any alien machinery present."

"You're voluntarily asking her to destroy tech?" Carol asked dubiously and Tony nodded grimly.

"When it comes to alien tech, let's just say that I've got enough bad experience," he said in remembrance of the dastardly Spectre, "Anyway, I can always scan it for details from its broken parts."

They quickly sorted out the plan and moved in to infiltrate the base.

It turned out that they weren't the only ones infiltrating that day. Within twenty minutes of attacking, they found a strange female in a red costume holding out her own battle against the Hydra agents.

"Who the hell is the newbie?" Carol yelled over the comm as she smashed two Hydra agents' heads in.

"Don't know yet. Could be an enemy," Tony warned as he blasted two scientists off a Skrull artifact that was glowing mysteriously.

"Or a friendly," Carol countered as she saw Kamala jump up and avoid a Hydra weapon's laser before smashing what looking like a mini reactor. "She seems to be hurting the same people we are," Carol pointed out as she moved smoothly over the newbie, who was - wait, swinging across on a spider web?

"Iron Man, do we have Spider Man's clone or hybrid on records?" she asked and heard Tony grunt before he answered.

"No, we have only one spider wonder. Why?"

"Because I think we might have a second" Carol declared and trusted her instincts when she rushed across to help the newbie in overpowering five agents when she noticed the spider female getting cornered.

"Cover your left flank," she ordered the woman as she ducked and weaved punches, "And duck faster."

"I don't need your help," the woman snarled and Carol grit her teeth as she jumped up and crashed a running agent into the wall.

"Maybe you don't, but you can always get this finished sooner if you take it," Tony's voice came through his armor's speakers and Carol smirked at her partner showing unspoken trust in her judgement.

The woman didn't reply but Carol did notice her working in tandem with them after that, surprisingly fitting easily into their practiced flow. The fight turned fiercer and sharper, as though the Hydra soldiers had sensed some new vigor. 

Tony was cocky and overestimating in some commands but Carol saw him come through during near-messes, even though she wished he would make it a team-show and not put everything on his own shoulders. Still, they managed to end the fight with minimum casualty to the team and no major incidents to speak of. Tony landed on the floor and immediately gravitated to the Skrull ship, scanning data onto Friday as he moved around.

"So, you an ally?" Carol asked as she landed next to the newbie, who was now staring at the wreckage around them. Kamala had gone over to Tony to help out and Dante was shifting through the wreckage to check for anything suspicious.

"An ally to you? No." the woman replied with a small scoff and Carol remained unfazed.

"But you're against Hydra," she observed.

"I was created by them," the woman revealed and Carol simply raised an eyebrow, "I didn't like what they were making of me, so now I stop them from doing it to anyone else."

"You're in this for simply revenge or to save people?" Carol challenged and the woman stared back at her.

"When you stand between the bad and the innocent, what are you doing?" the woman challenged back and Carol smirked at the fire in the woman's question.

"You interested in making this a regular business?" she asked casually and the woman stepped back suspiciously.

"Why? Thinking about putting me behind bars?"

"Thinking about getting you into my team," Carol corrected with a grin and the woman cocked her head observantly.

"And why would you do that?"

"Seems to me that we have the same motives," Carol shrugged, "Look, the way I see it, you can either do this as a vigilante with no back-up and additional risk. Or you can do this as a recognized Avenger, with a team to back you up. The end destination is the same, all that differs is the path you choose to get there."

"What will you get from that?"

"We could always use some extra power on the team," Carol said with a smirk, "Even if you need some more training."

The woman chuckled at that as though Carol was joking but Captain Marvel simply shrugged and moved past her.

"Come knocking if you're interested. We live in the ugliest mansion of Manhattan," she informed and moved along to gather with her team.

"You're recruiting ex-Hydra now?" Tony asked when she stood near him and Carol realized that her comm had been on the entire time.

"Sometimes you've got to look beyond the past and give future a chance, genius," Carol said with a quick glance at the armor, "Second chances tell a lot about a person."

"Yeah, but they're  _Hydra_ ," Tony informed her and Carol looked over her shoulder to see the spot from where the spider lady had disappeared.

"If everybody judged a person from where they began or where they survived, we wouldn't have a lot of heroes," she said quietly, "Maybe even an Iron Man."

Tony remained silent but he knew that she was talking about his own tryst with weapons, Obadiah and Ten Rings. He simply went on with his data collection before ordering everyone to get back to the jet.

On the ride back home, he didn't talk much and thought about how Carol's statement rang for another person who had been a Hydra survivor too. Another Hydra base, another scenario, where a Bucky Barnes had tried to fight back against the very same Hydra who had re-created him.

He thought back to a Steve Rogers who had stopped him from killing that Bucky Barnes. 

Tony wondered about choices and different consequences if second chances never existed.

It was a sobering thought to sleep on.

A couple of days later when a Jessica Drew came knocking for Carol, Tony simply nodded and told her that they had a place to fill anyway. He imagined a similar scenario with a metal armed man and felt a little less stubborn about old grudges.

***********

"He did what?" Sam asked with narrowed eyes as he shared a look with Bruce, who looked tensed.

"I'm not sure about it but Friday's data shows that he's been researching on the profiles of all those involved in the Bucharest task force squad," Natasha said quietly, looking at Bruce.

"But how does that link to Steve opting to giving up his shield?" Bruce asked nervously.

"Again" Rhodey added under his breath and Sam shot him a dry look that Rhodey returned with an equally dry one of his own.

"I don't know, call it a hunch maybe," Natasha shook her head and looked at Sam, "All I know is that Everett called me this morning telling me that he's glad Steve cooperated in revising the Accords and making it better before asking me if we've decided on the next Captain America, because apparently Steve said that he'll be signing the Accords as Steve Rogers and not Captain America."

"Are you ki- no, you know what, this is bullshit," Sam shook his head, "Steve would never give up the shield again. Not when everything is going right now."

"Is it?" Clint asked from beside Rhodey, without looking up from his phone, "Is everything going right? Because I don't see that happening around here."

"What is your problem, Barton?" Sam snapped and Clint looked up with a lazy gaze.

"My problem, Wilson, is that we're stuck in a place where we're simply namesakes of our previous selves. My problem is that we threw it all away for nothing and now we don't know where we stand."

"Or maybe your problem is that you can't talk your frickin wife and sort out your own issues," Bucky shot back from beside Natasha and Clint shot him a murderous look.

"Enough," Rhodey stopped the fight before it began and looked up at Natasha, "Look, if he wants to step down, then I think it's a good thing to do."

"Really Rhodes? What exactly is good about this?" Sam demanded and Rhodey raised an eyebrow at him.

"Look, despite what you guys think, you've lost a lot of trust for the things you chose to do," Rhodey said firmly, "And I'm not talking about the trust of the government. I'm talking about the trust of the people. When told to follow laws that are common to any group of security, you chose to run and demand more than what you could have."

"He's Captain America, Rhodes," Sam shook his head, "He's done everything till date for the people."

"Except for the last thing he did," Bruce spoke up quietly and cleared his throat when everyone looked at him, "I mean, except for refusing to cooperate with the UN. That one was for himself."

"Listen, I'm not saying that Steve doesn't deserve to be on the team anymore or shit," Rhodey shook his head, "But if you think about it, this is the only way to move forward completely. Sam, think about it, alright? Captain America is a title that was born out of the military. It is a representation not just of the people but also of the promise of the security forces to always put the people first. When Steve Rogers took up the shield, he did it to push bullies out during a war. And the world will always owe him for that. But after seventy years of sacrifice, he came into this century as Captain America, not as Steve Rogers. His identity, his existence became his title. With all of us, all the rest, we have our own identity as well. Bruce Banner is as important as the Hulk. Natasha Romanoff is as valuable and sought after as the Black Widow. Sam Wilson is as real as the Falcon. Even Tony has a distinction that the public recognizes and accepts. But Steve? Steve is just Captain America. For the past five years or so, he has been just that. And when he finally tried to become Steve Rogers again, he ended up going against everybody who thought he would protect them. The public cannot differentiate between him as a title and him as a person. So when they see him go against the UN or the government, it's Captain America betraying them and not Steve Rogers taking a stand."

"And that is too much to take for a person. Any person," Natasha mused out loud, "Which is why it will become hell for the public to see Steve pick up the shield because they don't trust him to be Captain America anymore and they haven't seen him as anything else."

"So we ask him to give up everything he is?" Bucky asked and Natasha looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Steve Rogers is more than just the shield and the uniform, James," she reminded him and smiled when he looked sheepish, "I think Rhodey is right. Look at it this way: all of us, every one of us on the team, except for James but well...you get my point. Every one of us has had a past that the public has seen or can access without glorified records. We are human and fallible humans at that. But Steve? The people have always seen him as a legend and nothing less than that. Sam, it is easy to forgive and accept humans. But when a legend falters or falls, the whole world burns them up. The world can look beyond our mistakes because we have made them before, some of us even doing things worse. But Steve? He has been infallible and untouchable. He was brought into this century on a pedestal. And the only way to knock off that weight is by taking a leap off that pedestal."

"Exactly," Rhodey nodded and looked at Sam seriously, "Look Sam, you and I both know that missions go wrong all the time. That's part and parcel of the risks we take. But what happened in Lagos, that one was purely on Steve's shoulder."

"I had equal hand in it," Wanda argued but Rhodey shook his head a bit sadly.

"You had a hand in preventing a disaster. Your job was not to contain the blast, that was something you had to do to save the people on the ground," Rhodey corrected, "The mission failed only because Steve got distracted."

"Crossbones manipulated him," Bucky said bitterly and Natasha nodded.

"True, but Steve is smarter than that. He has experience with dealing with Crossbones before. He should have known better than engaging him in conversation," she said and raised a hand to stop the tirade Bucky looked like he was going to rant, "I'm not blaming him or accusing him, James. I am simply stating facts. Facts that both the public and the UN take into consideration. Collateral damage is a thing but when it happens due to one person's fault, the weight is too much to bear. Especially when that someone is Captain America, who like we said, is more of a legend and less a person in the public eye."

"So, what? We should ask Stevie to change himself?" Bucky asked with a frown.

"No, we should let him change his title," Bruce spoke up and nodded slightly at the frown he got from Sam, "Sam, people face the consequences of their actions all the time. I faced it with Harlem. Tony is still facing it with Sokovia. Somebody has to face it for Lagos and unfortunately, that somebody has to be Steve, because it all boils down to him. If Steve has any chance of moving forward and fighting for the right cause again, he has to make this compromise."

"It's just...he's been Captain America all his life," Sam said with a sigh and rubbed his forehead.

"Maybe it's time for him to be Steve Rogers again," Natasha suggested quietly, "After all, that was the person who began the story and had a brave heart long before a serum."

"And that is the person we followed into the battles," Bucky added quietly, remembering an old conversation in a bar with a happier Steve.

"This is all fucked up," Sam muttered in defeat.

"Welcome to the Avengers," Clint snorted from the couch, "Fucked up is how we start anything new."

In a floor above them all, Steve cradled a borrowed (stolen) pair of high-tech glasses and breathed in deeply before putting it on for the umpteenth time since he had left a suffocating elevator and a miserably kind Greek father.

He adjusted the tech and drowned himself in a memory of yet another failed battle, reliving his failure again to try and understand when he had fallen.

It was ironic, how the man who had fallen from a Hydra train had now risen above them all and how the man who thought he had survived the fall into a frozen sea was now sinking back into a frigid hold.

Steve drowned in his memories even as his phone rang from a half-estranged friend, the ringing falling on deaf ears.

Tony cut the call with a frown in the Mansion and wondered where Steve was currently. Little did he know that the man was embracing a different kind of ice. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that I feel like hugging this chapter and comforting it? Because I feel like it a lot. Seriously guys, I don't hate anyone in the team, alright? I just wanted to show their vulnerable sides and show them some reality checks. As someone who has had really unpleasant trysts with depression myself, I can tell you that it's not easy to ask for help. It's not easy to admit that there's something wrong with you. It's definitely not easy to show weakness if you're holding on to a long standing belief that you shouldn't break. I see that in Steve so much and I don't hate him for it. I simply wish that he could get help because he desperately needs it.
> 
> Also, one of my favorite lines is something a female character says here. I'm actually proud of myself for thinking of it. Brownie points for guessing which one :)
> 
> Oh, also, did I draw the parallel between Charles Spencer and Abram Callas well enough? I wanted it to have a morbid coldness to it in a way that the father doesn't show hysterics but is calm, collected and cool in his facts. Drama sounds great but sometimes it's the calm that hits hardest. Did I get that right? Please let me know?


End file.
